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Iam struggling to cope

STAFFORD profile image
3 Replies

Hi iam Called Stafford or Staff

I am struggling to cope i have depression and Anxiety after losing my dad and my brother to suicide my dad in 1985 he was 36 i was 14 years old and last April my Brother he was 38 years old he would have been 40 years old on 29th April which is the anniversary of my dad's death but i have on going depression the doctor referred me to the Mental Health team but they refused to help me just like my brother was refused help from the hospital that's why he died. iam crying in the night i keep waking up crying.

I Need a Sympathetic ear please help me

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Stafford

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STAFFORD
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3 Replies
xxnataliexx profile image
xxnataliexx

I feel for you. The mental health service Is not very helpful at times. The woman I saw years ago from the mental health team was horrible. She made me feel worse than when I went. I said someone.. (psychologist suggested I'd got a different diagnosis to what the doctor said, when I mentioned it she's said I was glorifying it and wanted it) I'd change doctors n then get a another referral . X

prm88 profile image
prm88

I'm sorry you have been through all of that, if you can check changes.org out, they look quite helpful x

Abestar profile image
Abestar

Hi Staff

I can't even begin to imagine how difficult all this must have been and clearly you are still being affected on a daily basis. I've no idea whether you are based, so it's difficult to suggest services. In addition to medical/ mental health services which you should not give up on dispite your disappointment. You may get support from your local bereavement services who in turn may suggest alternative routes into longer term help and support.

If you haven't already explored written sources of support, Amazon is good because you don't have to purchase 'blind' since there are many written reviews, which you can learn from and help you to decide if a book is for you. Example amazon.co.uk you can also take a peak inside (brief preview).

"Silent Grief: Living in the Wake of Suicide" Revised Edition 2Rev Ed , Kindle Edition

(Review: This book explained everything I was feeling was 'okay' and 'normal' from the sleep loss to the nightmares to the guilt I feel every single day. It continuously helps me feel not so alone)

Another book "Dying to Be Free: A Healing Guide for Families after a Suicide" Kindle Editionby Beverly Cobain (Author), Jean Larch (Author).

(From the publishers -Synopsis: The authors break through the dangerous silence, complicated emotions, and brutal stigma to offer this healing guide for family members who have lost a loved one to suicide. Cobain's personal account of dealing with suicide, along with recollections from other suicide survivors provides insight into the confusion, fear, and guilt family members experience.

About the Author: Beverly Cobain is a survivor of three family suicides, including that of her cousin Kurt Cobain, the lead singer of the band Nirvana, who killed himself in 1994. She is a registered nurse with certification in psychiatric/mental health nursing. Kurt's death led her to write the acclaimed book When Nothing Matters Anymore: A Survival Guide for Depressed Teens. Jean Larch, S.W.T., is a crisis intervention specialist who works closely with suicidal individuals and family members who have survived the loss of a loved one due to suicide.)

The reviews of the above books might lead you to other recommendations.

Finally, you might also find it helpful to write about it in a diary/journal a) for you to capture thoughts on paper so they're not just constantly swirling and b) you have evidence of how you are emotionally and psychologically, available to your doctor. If you are not into writing, keep it simple and brief. Measure how you feel on a daily basis1-10, 10 being the worst. It's a quick way of monitoring how you are feeling over time.

I hope this helps in some small way. Please let us know how you're getting on.X

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