I have suffered from depression most of my adult life, when I was younger I was raped by a man, I was bullied at school for being gay and have always been a loner. I lost my younger brother to suicide and lost my sister to breast cancer a few years ago. my life has not been a good one, I am taking tablets from the doctor wich at the moment do not seem to be helping but they are helping me sleep. I have recently done something very silly I met someone on holiday last year and we came very close, we kept in contact for 5 months, i went back out there to see him this time and i did something that i am not proud of I had unprotected sex with him I seem to be on a self-destruct mode, I am going to get tested in a few weeks as its too soon. but feel that my head is about to explode. I am hurt as i thought this person loved me but he didn't so I am trying to cope with that as well as the fact that I could have HIV, I have never had unprotected sex and normally very sensible. i feel my life is a mess and I don't know how to cope anymore.
I feel that life is passing me by and I am just stood still