Please help me

I really need some good advice how to deal with my mother. I suffer from very depression and she is making it worse for me by saying so many hurtful things to me. She keeps saying stuff like I am a drug addict and that I don't care at all about my daughter Grace which is not true. She thought I was on drugs last night because I stay in my room all evening. Last night I had thoughts of killing myself. I even did a search online easy ways to kill yourself. I am at the very edge now I can't deal with her anymore. I have just about enough of her making me feel worthless not cared for or loved. Somebody please help me before I do end up doing something bad to myself tonight.

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  • Ah just replied to your first post. Are you getting any treatment for your depression? Are you on any meds? Are you working?

    Is there any way you can leave home and get away from your mothers treatment of you?

    In an ideal world family would help and support you but in the real world this often isn't the case. I think your priority is getting medical help, then work towards being able to get your own home.

    If you killed yourself who would look after your little girl? Your mother? Would you wish that on her? I know I wouldn't.

    Unfortunately some parents don't know how to love and support you and all they want to do is drag you right down. You need to stop looking for something she obviously isn't able to give and find what you need in the outside world through other family, a partner or friends. My mother was similar and this is what I did.

    Meanwhile stay with us here and we will help and support you all we can. You are not alone with this now as you have us and we all understand about depression.

    Now stop thinking of suicide and turn your attention and energy away from this and towards working out how to get away. That is what you need to focus on.

  • Hello Trisha, I want you to reread lilaclil's reply. It is spot on, and you won't go wrong by following it. I also got the short straw where Mothers are concerned and it helped me to be a caring and supportive one. You can be that for your child.Your Mother will probably never change, it's not your fault and there is nothing you can do for her. Are you financially dependent on her? If so you must try to become independent from her. Keep in mind if she is toxic to you she might also be to your little girl. Talk to friends and relations maybe one of them will help or have an idea for you. Let us know how you get on. Pam, who knows there are Mothers and there are Mothers.

  • Thank you Pam. xxx

  • Hi Trisha, please don't harm yourself! You have people who care. I care! My brother in law who suffered from Bipolar Disorder took his life. His 3 daughters were absolutely devastated! Their life will never be the same without their Dad and they carry deep wounds. Your just cannot do this to your daughter!!! Suicide is never, ever the answer!! I can tell you Trisha it is not a good choice, because I attempted to take my life years ago when I was severely depressed. I was rushed to the hospital where thank God the doctors saved me! I can tell you it has been over 20 years since that attempt and I am so thankful I lived. If I had died that day, I would have missed out on meeting my wonderful husband, adopting 2 children, making many lifelong close friends, and rescuing my very best friend, my little mini daschund. So please Trisha your life WILL get better. This is what I have found to be very helpful when I am depressed:

    1. Go outside and take a walk. Ideally where there is pretty nature. While you are walking look at all the beauty around you. Focus not on your pain but on the trees, the sky, any animals you might see, birds etc. Nature has a way of soothing and healing our pain. Exercise is very important it activates feel good chemicals in your brain. Or go to the gym and workout your stress.

    2. Get away from your mother. Even if only for a few days. Take your daughter and go stay with a friend for a few days or take a mini vacation. But please make it your goal to try to be free from her. If that is not possible, have you tried telling her that you feel like you want to take your life because of all the hurtful things she says to you?

    3. Listen to good, uplifting happy music. This will take your mind off of your situation. Sing with the joyful music and I know this might sound silly but dance. You definitely won't want to, but dancing makes you happy.

    4. I like to read positive, inspirational messages on Facebook. Are you on FB? If so you can follow : The Power of Positive Thinking, The Power of the Heart, The Purple Flower, Love What Matters, Love Makes Life Beautiful

    5. Pray. You can communicate to God and tell him how you are feeling. Ask Him for guidance and strength. Or meditate on positive, uplifting quotes.

    6. Listen to online comedians. Laugh!!

    7. Read a book, magazine, news- entertain and stimulate your brain.

    8. Pamper yourself:Get a mani or a pedi.

    9. Go shopping- you don't have to spend a lot. Just buy something that brings you pleasure

    10. Eat chocolate or a favorite meal.

    11. Take a bath or shower. Do your hair or go to the hair stylist. Pamper, pamper, pamper yourself!!

    12. Look at old photos on Facebook or photo albums to remember good times.

    Trisha please know that I love you do not want you to take your life!!! You can get through this. Please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing. You are a beautiful, talented, worthy, awesome, person who has a bright future. God created you and loves you very, very much and so do IπŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜πŸ˜β€οΈβ€οΈπŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ™πŸ™πŸ˜πŸ˜˜β€οΈπŸ’•

  • Your Mum may be mean, or just plain tactless. Either way, try to ignore her comments.

  • Nice to see you FM. Where have you been? Glad you are back. xxx

  • Once had a similar prob when my Mother was alive. I'm afraid it will become a "heart versus head" situation and that's one only you can take - but only after you've taken on board advice from those who really know you. By all means bounce ideas off me but I'm no expert.

  • I have struggled to cope with a close relative's depression and as a result have attended counselling and support groups to help me understand and act more appropriately. I feel I was becoming depressed myself, which only exacerbated the problems. Would your mother be open to seeking such support?

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