Low mood, anxiety and rumination

[Airwoman]

Hi all, I am new here. I am writing because I realised I can't remember the last time I really felt happy and satisfied with myself. I keep ruminating about how i feel inadequate and i keep thinking about how i should have done better in life and I am constantly afraid about letting people down. I keep ruminating about 'what if i am not worth of anything', 'what if other people can do things better than i can' and above all i keep asking myself what other people really think about me. I know this is really wrong and i should have more self-confidence but i really can't help it. I keep asking myself what is wrong with me. Fact is also that i am alone most of the time as my partner is away most of the time for work and being foreign and having just moved to a new city doesn't help because i still really don't have a stable circle of acquaintances or someone i can really trust. Lately i've been experiencing low mood almost on a daily basis, on and off, sometimes crying for no reason or because of mixed feelings about work or life in general and i feel overwhelmed and hopeless I feel anxious about being in this state, anxious about the future, anxious about finally achieving something that might never come for me. I feel angry with myself about feeling like this because it could be much worse and i should try to be stronger. I could really do with some advice... Thank you.

[Hamble]

Hi Airwoman, sorry to hear you're having such a rough time. I've noticed I often "tell " myself things that I wouldn't dream of saying to a friend. Other people can do some things better than you. And me. But you say you've just moved so you have have had a major life change and seem to be coping with it mostly on your own? Be kind to yourself. Have you registered with a GP? Maybe you could talk to them and get some help? Are you at home on your own most of the time? Try to get out each day of poss, even in the rain! Have small goals (e.g. today I will ask the person at the till in my local shop how they are today?) Can you plan something nice for yourself over the weekend? What do you like to do?

Thinking of you.

[Airwoman in reply to Hamble]

Hi Hamble, thank you for your kind words. Fact is I come home after work to an empty house. Work doesn't satisfy me too much but it's the best I can do for now, hoping it will get better. I can't seem to be able to be kind to myself, I have no patience and I'm anxious about proving something to the others all the time. I feel like I'm missing out on something most of the time. I have a Gp but I haven't talked to them about this just yet as by the time I make the decision to go I start feeling better or I'm I think it's nothing, then I'm overwhelmed again. People are nice to me and friendly but I feel like I'm leaving them out more and more as I don't want to expose myself or don't feel interested in anything in particular. I try to have a bit of social life besides work but it's never easy making friends with anyone, especially in a new place. I tell myself I need to be strong because it will get better and I don't want to involve anyone. I feel a bit childish for thinking I'm having problems in a world with much bigger issues, maybe I'm just too weak in a world where u need to always be at the top of your game in every situation.

[Hidden]

Please don't feel guilty everyone has their own personal struggles and levels it can't be compared. I do know exactly how you feel and you can message me anytime even if it's not about this just to have some company and support. I like to use a site called tiny buddha they have pinterest pages/social media pages and it's just lots of uplifting messages and positivity. Do you have any hobbies or interests so you could join a club? I know it's super scary and I hate doing anything by myself but if you don't like it you never have to go back xx

[Airwoman in reply to Hidden]

Thank you justjessica. I would like to try some mindfulness/meditation group and I've tried to do that in the past on my own but I feel too tired to try and yes, I've got a bit of social anxiety in new situations or being surrounded by new people. I will try tiny Buddha, maybe that will work for me to give me some kind of motivation...

[CharlotteWalton]

I know exactly how you feel