Hi, my wife has had depression for years and she made me aware of it when we were going out. But tbh I am struggling emotionally. She is sweet, kind, supportive, loving, good fun, considerate of others (and me) and great company. She really is my best friend. We'd met at work and got together after my divorce (my ex-wife was emotionally abusive). So my ask for help and ideas is - when she falls into 'that place' it's like she's a different person. I feel so helpless and often I am at the brunt of her comments. It's like she's determined to chase me away and I'm really not sure what the best approach is. We work in the same office in different departments and typically she starts emailing me. It usually quickly focuses on me and my faults, and nothing I can say seems to help, it just seems to make things worse. Intellectually I know it's the depression, but emotionally I feel deeply upset and anxious. It becomes the entire focus of my day. Because of my treatment at the hands of my ex-wife I start to panic that I am being attacked again (which I am not but it's hard to shake off). I am really worried that this repeated behaviour will drive me into 'defence' mode and we set up a negative cycle which undermines our relationship. Can anyone advise me, please, on the best approach?
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