Deadly depression since childhood

Hello I also have been suffering from severe depression since I was in grade 5 when my parents were killed.I always sought true love and care and thus married a year back but my husband could not understand my situation at all and he always fought. A month back my husband was diagnosed with liver cirrhosis and I've been crying like a child day and night as I can't control myself and it sounds to be I will be left alone once more in life , I've no friends to talk to or no family support.Ive a six months baby ,I am down to such an extent that I can't even concentrate on her.I really don't know what to do.Am 26 years old, sometimes​I want to sleep and not to wake up anymore.

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  • Hey,I have gone through all this since my childhood. Always craving for love and care. I was lonely with no one to talk to. Many times I wanted to commit suicide. But thane was something in me that pulled me up. I developed a very strong past time and that was love for books. Books became my friends. I could over come the situation, though struggling hard. But I did come out of this loneliness and depression.

    You can try it. Choose a strong past time according to your liking and choice.

    Good luck.

  • So kind of you.I must will make time to read books.

  • Do you have access to a counselor/therapist? Could you go to the doctor and talk about what you're experiencing and perhaps see if there is a medication that could help? If you have a six month old, I'm not sure if you're still breast feeding, but that's something to take into account if you look at medication.

    Those are two things I would suggest. I would also do some research on liver cirrhosis. I have heard stories where people were diagnosed, and through careful management of their lifestyles, lived for quite a long time.

    I hope things improve. If you need any further help, reach out. We're here.

  • Hello Sarah, obviously I'm sorry to hear you are suffering and the bad news about your husband. Things however are not as black as you are imagining at the moment. Cirrhosis of the liver can be treated usually to improve things and a liver transplant I would have thought was a good possibility in Sweden . So there is no need to imagine that you will necessarily be left on your own. Even if the worst came to the worst , Sweden I believe would have a good support system for you and your child.

    I would have thought that you should stop assuming the worst and spare a thought for your husband who will need your support over the coming months, especially as the thought that will he live to see his child grow up must have crossed his mind. Obviously you should seek all the medical help available for your depression in order that you can give him the support he will need.

    Hopefully your husband will survive for many more years but however long its important that you both enjoy as much as possible together the new baby, and your time together.

    Olderal

  • So nice and kind of you all. I have been taking Fluoxetin but it doesn't seem to work and sometimes the depression episode just consumes me up.ive been visiting to psychiatrist but he isn't that much supportive

  • Hi Sarah,

    I'm very sorry for the situation you and your husband find yourself in.

    I think you should go back to your GP or psychiatrist and tell them the fluoxetine isn't helping as much as it could. They could increase your dose or you could try another tablet? It is best to be honest if the medication is not working that well.

    It must be hard for your husband too and like olderal says you being as well as you can be will help all of you.

    Maybe contact your health visitor and explain to them what is going on, they may be able to help you out with extra support for a while.

    Best wishes to you all 💗

  • Hi Sarah

    What a difficult situation to be in, and I imagine very scary. While your husband does need your support, of course, I can see that you're very vulnerable and maybe spend all your emotional resources on simply trying to survive. So looking after him/your baby as well as yourself becomes well nigh impossible.

    You need some support from outside the home. Can you change psychiatrist, get a therapist, join some sort of support group (ask your doctor what's available). Join a baby group. There's nothing like parenthood for getting to know a range of people from different backgrounds and I found the "new mum" network to be hugely supportive. I too was very depressed when my children were babies and it was really hard forcing myself to join in things. But my very best friends now are the ones I met through baby/toddler groups (20 years ago!) so it's worth persevering. And of course great for your baby who will gain some playmates.

    None of this changes your circumstances of course but I think that by nurturing yourself and trying to meet your own needs, you'll eventually find enough reserves to deal with things more effectively.

    Good luck.

    Liz

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