Negative Thinking

Hi. This is my first post and I feel quite pathetic even to join. I am a very negative person and frequently get panic attacks which result in me loosing control of rational thinking . I am very anxious at work partly because I am in a management role that is very isolated and partly because of my personality. Because I am so moody and anxious this seems to make the situation worse. Logically I should be happy as I have a loving and supportive wife and family. I do not have any major problems yet I seem to ruminate mainly about work and my inability to get on with work colleagues which result in me thinking everyone dislikes me. Yet I know that it is mainly in my head. I have tried CBT (Silvercloud) and mindfulness which both have helped to some extent. Yet I still feel anxious and have panic attacks. I am getting desperate as I do not know what to do as I feel there is no logical reason for me to feel this way and to not be able to cope.

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  • Hi nice to meet you and welcome to the site. You are not pathetic at all any more than the rest of us on here. I am on here because of depression and because I have absolutely no support in the real world. Cyber world, though limited in it's nature, is much better than no support.

    There is usually a reason for anxiety which we can trace back. Do you know the origin of yours? That would be a starting point. Have you ever tried any other counselling apart from CBT? This does work well for some people but it's not for everyone.

    If you are in the UK you can access it through the NHS but there tends to be long waiting times and it is usually limited. If you can afford to it might be worth your while to seek private counselling. I think once you can trace the source of your anxiety then you might begin to start healing.

    I hope this helps a bit.

  • Thank you for the advice. I am trying the counselling but I have to wait 3 months.

  • Hello Malcolm, welcome to the forum. I'll let you know my experience, but others will be sure to help also. Ah yes ,those panic attacks and anxiety, they separate the men from the boys don't they. One of the reasons I had them was a lack of self confidence although I kept it pretty well hidden. I also kept myself at a distance never said too much about personal things. I was afraid if people knew how stupid and dumb I was they wouldn't like me. One of the things I did to help myself was to decide what I wanted to be like and I would find someone similar and I would study how they handled things. Other times I would read biographies of people I admired. It was their thinking I was interested in. It helped, I'm not exactly as I would like to be, but closer than before.I'm usually around if you want any more info. Pam

  • Hi

    Thank you for your advice. A lot of what you say seems applicable to me. I will certainly try some of the things you have suggested.

  • Malcom PK, breathe!! Deep breaths. You need to slow down. Sometimes anxiety just happens. It could be just the way your brain is wired. See if you can get to see a therapist. Maybe meds would help.

  • No person is negative or positive . His thoughts may be so. It is all in mind. You need to search some hobby which diverts your mind. A change from existing scenario to something else. As suggested cyber world of some game or sports. If not possible deep breathing and fast walking. Try anything you like ,you will feel good.

    Good luck.

  • Hi , I can identify with what you say. The negative thoughts for me comes in waves. But ultimately I am very low on confidence, have anxiety and do not know how to handle stressful situations. I hide from them rather than confront them. I have tried all sorts from mindfulness, medication , exercise and a few others. As yet haven't found the right balance. But I continue to search as I have a good life . The mind is a powerful tool as yet I have not completely mastered it. It to a large extent controls me however . But gradually I'm turning things around.

  • Hey welcome to our family .I think you have been very brave coming on saying that .Look you are what you are and what's in your genes ,it would be such a boring world if we were all the same .

    You have to make an effort to renew the way you think it's not easy but it can be done if you want to change .If you are feeling low maybe you need to see your dr because if you are depressed it needs treating and also it's very hard to feel up if you are feeling depressed just don't be so hard on yourself

    Read what sweetie pie has written its sound advice there is more help out there you just have access it and it starts with a trip to my fave( not) the drs .Please come back and chat with us and let us know how your getting onMalcom .Everyone is lovely here and no question is deemed stupid so ask away .bye xx

  • Hi thank you for your kind words and advice.

    I have just been to the dr who has recommended some medication.

    I am overwhelmed with the amount of support, sharing of personal experiences and ideas on the forum. What a great group of people. It is great to know that I am not alone and to have so much advice. Thank you again

  • Malcom you are so welcome and thanks for going to drs I'm so glad you did .Im filled with confidence that you will feel better .Dont worry about anything except getting well ,you don't have to be the loudest , brashest person ,myself I always go towards the shyest and more quiet person because they are more considered usually .

    So you are you and that's great remember that .Keep coming on it usually takes a few weeks before they kick in so don't get despondent will you

    All the best Malcom you're on you're road to feeling better .xx😇🎈🎈🎈

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