Feeling lost

So I've suffered from depression for about 3 years now and I've been handling it well for about 2 and half but in last 6 months I've gotten so low I just don't get any enjoyment from life anymore. I have friends, family and a partner who support me and try to help but nothing is working. I'm on a waiting list for long term therapy but I refuse to take medication again! Someone please help I'm feeling so lost and I'm at the end of my tether.

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  • Hello Shannon, sorry you are feeling so low at the moment. It is good to hear that you are on the waiting list for therapy, any idea how long the waiting list is? From your post I take it that you are not happy taking medication, why is this, have you had a bad experience in the past? My only suggestion would be to go back to your GP and explain how bad things have got and see if they will refer you to your local mental health team. You could explain that you want some more support whilst you are waiting for therapy to start, you might find support helpful whilst you go through therapy.

    Sometimes when we are depressed we lose the ability to see that good/nice things happen to us almost daily. Depression makes us think of negative events that have happened in our lives, it is also really helpful at waking us up at 4 in the morning and re-running every bad decision we made in our lives, in full technicolor. We then spend the rest of the time ruminating about things that have happened and trying to predict what the future holds, and because we are depressed the future is desolate, grey and silent. This is what depression does, it is an illness that tries to dictate every thought and feeling we have.

    I have bipolar disorder and for me the positive effects of medication outweigh the negative effects. I still get irritated at the negative, having to remember to take loads of pills four times a day, keeping track of blood test results, seeing a psychiatrist regularly, seeing the GP regularly, having a care coordinator involved in my life, keeping a mood diary, watching what I eat and drink and having to lug a pharmacy around if we go on holiday etc. Yes loads of negatives, but.... the positives, I am the person my husband married, I am able to interact with society to do the things I want to do, I am no longer a danger to myself either with depression or hypomania and I feel much calmer, less anxious and confused, and more me. This is why I take medication, and yes I have also had long term therapy throughout my life. So medication is part of the overall plan to keep me well.

    Some things I have found useful. Mindfulness, this is about paying attention to the present, the now. As humans we are constantly thinking about the past and using it to inform us about what might happen in the future. We very rarely think about now. There is loads of information on the internet about mindfulness, Ruby Wax is a great advocate of mindfulness. There is also stuff available on YouTube. I have an app I use daily called, Stop, Breathe and Think. The exercises are nice and short, from 2-10 minutes, and there are loads to chose from, I suggest you start with a 2 minute breathing exercise. Try to do it daily. Another thing to try is going out for a walk every day, look at the flowers, trees and other people's silly dogs, but try to get out in the fresh air. You could try sitting in the sun when it is out, or sitting by a window that lets in lots of natural light. Finally, try to keep to a routine, getting up everyday, eating regularly and healthily and going to bed and sleep at the same time every night. Avoid alcohol and any form of illicit drugs.

    I hope this help, take care.

    Fi.

  • The lists can be long can't they? If you are not coping very well at present do go and see your GP. If medication is not for you (though there are many you can try) then s/he is the one who can hurry along your referral for therapy. Try here for free guides which may help:

    healthunlocked.com/depressi...

    There are numbers here you may find useful in a crisis.

    healthunlocked.com/depressi...

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