High free fall

[Dewdropsxx]

You know those nights where it gets really bad? sometimes the next day you get this burst of annoying energy, just bubbling over and super hyper and random things tomble out of your mouth. The euphoric state, nothing can touch you. Yep that's me, I'm just bursting right now, full of energy and ready to do something, take on the world 🏋🏼‍♀️💪 I just know I'm going to come crashing down, but it is these moments where I can't even fathom of how bad I am, I can't even imagine myself as depressed, I just feel so good! It is these moments that make me question why I should reach out for help. I feel normal. Like my old happy self, maybe even better! I don't want to come down from this emotional high, I haven't had this good of one in a while.

[Hponme]

Darling have you ever been tested for bi-polar ? Don' t worry it's not meant to scare you, it just might be a small reason why sometimes things get blurry. I'm glad you're feeling happier today. I'm sure there will be many more happy days to come. Take it slowly and breathe in the fresh air ! God bless xx

[Catmag]

I know exactly what you mean. The last time it happened to me, I dismantled the kitchen sink! It was draining a bit slow, so of course I could fix it!

Sorry Hponme, I must politely disagree, I have experienced the same kind of days that Dewdropsxx is describing & I am definitely not bipolar.

What I find most challenging is that on those high energy days, pacing is nigh on impossible. That kind of nervous energy can't be shut off in my experience. But then there is the inevitable crash when all that adrenalin goes.

Wishing you well with the struggle Dewdropsxx. Best wishes to all dealing with depression.

Catmag.

[Hponme in reply to Catmag]

That's fine you can disagree with me. The thing is I have 50 years experience and it was just a suggestion as 'high energy' or manic episodes are a bi-polar trait followed by the inevitable 'crash'. I am not suggesting that everyone who has this happening has bi-polar but merely traits. These traits help us to unlock what's at the heart of the problem and how to best treat certain conditions. People can be on different spectrums. It's just a professional opinion. X

[Dewdropsxx]

I don't think I'm bipolar because it's not sudden fluctuation of emotions. Though I'm not certain that's what bipolar is.... but my highs are fewer and far between now. I am really low most of the time, just the day after a really bad night, sometimes I will have this as catmag said " nervouse energy" and it does always have a hard crash. I guess it could be described as a manic episode. But it's not all the time sometimes the day after a night like that I'm just exhausted and everything's a blur. I almost feel like my body was like " whoa this girl is sad, like really, really sad. Get some meds in her, Brain! Real ease the smiles into her blood stream!" And all the happy chemicals a brain produces are realeased and then the next day I'm just kind of OD on energy. And people who think it's like a good feeling or a good thing it really isnt. It is a really annoying energy burst. You know how people make fun of, say a squirrel with coffee or a kid with coffee ? Yea well it's like that, you suddenly become the most annoying person, and there is this little part of you that knows that, the part that knows the higher you feel the harder you crash. It is this part that tries to stop you from being annoying and taking on too much, but this part of you doesn't have control until your high is coming to an end, weather it's an hour or 3 days, the high comes to an end when this part of your brain suddenly balloons and takes over, all the sadness back in the brain when it burst with one little needle of a comment. Also to put it in simpler terms, it is like someone with bad ADHD with no medication. I know this because I have ADHD. One of the worst parts about this, is the fact that you are almost watching you annoy the few people around you and watching you agree to do that one project for everyone because you think it will be fun. And when the manic episode ends, your left choking, having bit off more than you can chew. And now your stuck in a dark, wet hole, all these people annoyed and angry with you. Not fun high, if it was a drug, I would say the high isn't worth the work to be tripping.

[Hponme]

Ah now that's where we're at. ADHD. Ok you have the hyperactivity with that and everything else goes hand in hand. Lots of traits are linked with ADHD. So when we're you diagnosed if you don't mind me asking love ? And how is your treatment going with that ?

The one thing you must do is let those close to you know. There is no use in suffering in silence. Only through knowledge do we understand and if they don't accept it then it's just tough for them lol. You can pm me anytime love as I know this is a sensitive topic xx

[Sgarcia]

How amazing i hope that your able to feel like that every day! Remember each day is a new begging and we are i title of making the best out of it, i had a great weekend to and i finally decided to get professional help and see a therapies this Tuesday 🙏