Advice on how to handle depression

Hey guys. I'm new to this site and I really don't know what I'm doing hehe. But I feel as if I really need someone to speak to that understands what I'm going through. I'm Samantha I'm 20 years old and I have 2 loving baby's. recently I feel like depression and anxiety is just taking over my life. I'm snapping at my boyfriend for nothing at all. Iv even started snapping at my 2 year old son for nothing. I feel really really low everyday and it feels as if my low moods are getting lower each day. I just feel useless in everything I do. My boyfriend doesn't seem to actually understand what I'm going through I just don't know what to do anymore. I just want to run away and leave everything behind. Does that make me a bad mum?

Just looking for abit of advice whilst I wait for my aunt d's to kick in before things get out of hand. 😞 Xx

19 Replies

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  • No it doesn't.hats off to you. Can you speak to your other half about it? When did you have your youngest? Pm me anytime.

  • Hey Hun thanks for the reply. My youngest is 10 weeks old. And yeah Iv spoke to my partner about it but he doesn't really understand what I'm actually going through. He just keeps telling me to take my tablets witch I am doing but it's just not that easy. Everyday I'm struggling more and more and it just seems like my depression is taking over. I'm finding it hard to sleep because I'm constantly guilty about shouting at my son. Then when I do get to sleep I'm having nightmares about random things. Then obviously the next day Iv got no energy at all because Iv had no sleep. But obviously I'm on my toes all the time with having a 2 year old and a 10week old baby I'm constantly shouting at everyone and I don't know why. I just can't help it. My moods are getting so low that i just want to take my son and my daughter to my mums and run away and never come back.

    I'm scared of talking to people I know about it because when I had depression 2 years ago people just kind of thought I was attention seeking and I'm afraid that if I tell my partner everything that's going on he will think the same. ☹️

    I think I'm just scared of everything at the minute. I don't really know how I feel if you get me😢

    Just abit of advice on how I can make my self feel that little bit better. Or how I can talk about the subject to my partner.

  • I'm wondering if you have post natal depression. Maybe print off an article from the internet in depression/post natal depression and give it to him. You are young and you are trying and i admire you. What does your Mum say?

  • My mum totally gets where I am coming from but I am scared to tell her that I just want to run away. Or how bad it actually is I'm scared of telling anyone that because I don't want anyone to think that I'm not coping or that I'm a bad mum.

    When I had my 2 year old son i had really bad postnatal depression and since then his dad has branded me as the worse mum on the planet and I'm so scared of that happening again. I try to be the best mum I can be. But it's just so hard. I know a lot of mums go through this but it's just seems like there is no end at all.

    I just want to be happy and enjoy my baby's growing up but I can't everything at the minute is just joyless.

  • People who love you should hopefully support you. Do you have the two children with the same Dad? Please don't feel guilty. You have some mental health issues. So do i btw

  • That's what I'm thinking but I'm just so worried about getting judged. Obviously not by my mum but by my boyfriend and his family. No I have 2 kids with 2 different dads.

    My 2 year old sons dad was a total disaster. He is the one who calls me the worse parent in the world from when I had my postnatal depression 2 years ago and my partner now is my daughters dad. Who I am still with. I just can't seems to explain to him how I actually feel. And how bad things actually are. And I'm so sorry I'm just talking about my self. I never even thought to ask anyone how they are doing.

  • I expect you are worried your partner will react the way your first partner did but you have no evidence of this. Good luck.

  • Perhaps you could speak to your GP? Your medication may need adjusting if you are feeling so low and also angry all the time.

  • They told me I need to wait 4 weeks for the medication to kick in. Iv only been taking them 2 weeks. But as I remember from last time I suffered from depression it did take a while for them to kick in

  • Yes, it can take time. Hang in there and do ask your mum for help if you need to. Maybe she could have the children for you one afternoon to give you some respite?

  • I think I just need to swallow my pride and just tell my partner and my mum how I'm actually feeling. I just don't know how to tell them how bad things actually are.

    It's kinda my own fault for bottling everything up and letting it get this bad.

  • Try telling the one you think will take it best and then let them help you tell the other. But do tell them. :)

  • Hi Sam, oh you poor love you have. Lot on your hands. With two under two. You are not a bad Mum but don't let things get worse, I feel you need to go back to your Dr. And be totally honest with how bad you feel. When we are overwhelmed and Depressed we can feel like running away, so don't feel guilty about this.

    Is there anyway that you could get some help with your children at the moment, maybe your Mom could take your two year old for a few hours and give you a break.

    You need to be careful as if you suffered from Postnatal before it could be that, that does not make you a bad Mum, but you are a Mum who needs help and support. Please don't me afraid to ask for help,

    Hannah

  • Hey Hannah thanks for the reply. My mum trieds her best to have the kids when she can and my partners mum also helps when she can. So i am very grateful for that

    I'm trying my best to put a brave face on for my little ones but I can't help but brake down at night when everyone is sleeping.

    I'm thinking about going back to the docs but I'm worried they will just tell me Iv not waited long enough for my meds to kick in.

    I'm just so worried about everything at the moment. I just never know what to do

    I'm so thankful for everyone's reply

  • Samantha a new Mum with a two year old would be tired and stressed at the best of times. Throw Depression into the mix And it's much tougher,

    You seem to have good support, would your Partner go along with you to the Dr. As he probably has no clue to how bad you feel, people who haven't experienced Depression find it hard to understand.

    Anyway stick around here as this Forum is very supportive and that will help you, have a nice warm bath and try and get a good nights sleep.

    Mind yourself and don't be so hard on yourself.

    Hannah

  • Hi Samanthalouiseex

    I'm just going to add this resource for you.

    You can download this free.

    Mental Health during pregnancy and the post-natal period

    shawmindfoundation.org/free...

    Warm wishes

    Chloe

  • Why not speak to someone? I found it really helpful to speak to counsellor and my best friend.

  • Hi, dear young mom. Whatever , you are going through, never think is your fault, God made us all and as hard as it looks, He will help us to understand ourselves, nothing is wrong with you, is just a temporary stuff,get medical attention as soon you can, but I want you to know, that as older you got the more you will know how to cope with depression, also remember your testimony can help others. I am studyn everything I can about depression, you have to know what are dealing with. What it really motivate me is been able to talk to others about the many ways we can cope with depression,. I myself taking therapy right now. And if this help, try to pray in night before you go to bed, I used to ask God, " please Father God forgive me for screaming at my baby daughter and help me not do that again, amen" I still do it ( asking God and the people who I fight with, for forgiveness) we don't need extra burdens on our shoulders, anxiety and depression are enough. I pray for you to find a way to relax and have some peace.

  • Hello! I had PND with my first child, it's horrific.

    Are you on the pill, Mirena coil, implant or any kind of hormonal contraception since having your daughter? That can really affect your moods and cause depression.

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