Always something to worry about

I've never posted here before so sorry if this is too long winded and incoherent, I'll try keep it as brief but detailed as I can.

I don't even know where to start. I have depression, anxiety and OCD, which I take sertraline for. It helps with my depression tremendously, anxiety however, it does not. I'm a chronic worrier. If there's nothing to worry about, trust me I'll find something. I have generalised anxiety already but I'm never calm, never not anxious. I always think something is causing my anxiety (I.e having to prepare a university presentation) and that after is done with, I'll be worry free! But it never works like that and I'll be onto the next thing to worry about. It's ruining my relationships with friends, family, partners because I'm always trying to fix things to stop my worrying and therefore end up creating a scenario that wasn't even there to begin with- I'm sabotaging myself!! It's all in my head, I make things up and I stress out situations to the point where I'm having a panic attack because of something that I have perceived is *going* to happen, like, that my boyfriend is going to turn around and dump me or that I'm going to fail all my exams or I'll walk outside and I'll get hit by a bus and be paralysed. Stupid things, irrational things.

It's making me genuinely suicidal and it's very hard to try and not be depressed (my anxiety causes my depression) when I'm ALWAYS anxious. I've struggled a lot the past few months and have reverted back to self harm and sleeping endlessly to just give my brain a rest. (Where I end up having crazy nightmares about all the things I worry about happening) It's never ending.

How do people deal with this? How do you stop these irrational worries and fears? I'm only 20 and I feel like I'm worrying my entire life away when I should be care free and having fun. I've isolated myself and I live away from home at university (I study art and it's very hard to be creative while suffering like I do) and my boyfriend is studying abroad and I don't have any friends here (do to my anxiety ruining my first year here) so I have very little distraction and very few people to talk to (most close friends live elsewhere). I just kind of need some advice and help. I feel like screaming I just want to escape my head. :( The doctor that I see isn't very good, he just keeps adjusting my sertraline dosage (currently on 50mg) which doesn't help because the higher the sertraline the more my anxiety feels 'trapped' inside me, it's hard to explain. But it's always still there, it never goes away. I just want/need people to discuss this with who understand me rather than throwing in my bfs and families shoulders when they can do little to help.

Thanks for any advice.

(20 year old female, if that adds any context, don't know if it does)

5 Replies

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  • I hear what you say dixel .. Welcome to the community.

    As you are aware the worrying about everything lifestyle is not easy nor comfortable thus keeping us locked down in a state of perpetual darkness and despair.

    But alas, we can change our thoughts and we can stop worry by simply not giving these any power over us.

    Yes, it is difficult but is attainable.

    I stopped worrying by realising that it was making me ill and giving strength to depressive thoughts which cast me further down the dark pit . I sought help from doing guided meditations and reading self help books. I found this site most helpful too for help and support.

  • You will find out more helpful stradegies f you type into a search engine ... How to stop worrying and start living

  • Hi Dixel,

    I hear you.

    My anxiety is the same. From the simplest thing, I make it out to be the worst problem in the all world. And like you said, when one is finished I find another one to replace it. At times I don't answer my phone, don't read emails because my depression makes me isolate myself a lot, so I think my friends will be mad at me and say horrible things to me when they just want to know if I'm ok and get together.

    I'm just now trying to revert this and trying to find solutions for it so possibly at this stage I don't think I am going to be the best help for you, but I am a good listener and would like to share more experiences with you. I find that when I'm having an anxiety attack, giving myself half hour to breathe and trying to understand what makes me scared, helps and then after that I tackle whatever I have to tackle head on. I've never got to the point of self harm of suicidal because I think I'm even to scarred for that, but I do have lots of nightmares too.

    At the moment I'm taking propranolol for anxiety and I feel like it's helping slightly, but my GP is already talking about increasing my dosage.

    I would like to talk more with you.

    In the meantime, take care.

    X

  • Hello dixel, lets get down to basics what do you need in order of importance. Well the disaster survival experts and psychologists pretty well agree on basic human needs. Roughly in order of importance they are air, clean water, food ,sleep ,shelter, security and safety...........money... love...............right up to happiness. The idea is it s hard to get to the last one happiness without having a good supply of the others.Remember that in the 3rd. world none of those are a gimme after air but you have them all a long way up the list which might put your worries into perspective.You are unlikely to ever be short of the first few items and remember some in the 3rd world have happiness despite a lack of the others because they don't worry. They've found a short cut without having all the others.

    You only have to do your best, thats one simple rule. Whatever happens after you've done your best is a case of que sera sera, what will be will be. Also as Satsuma has wisely pointed out there are a host of self help books and publications on dealing with anxiety and worry. Your local library will have a shelf full of them and unlike cures for depression which rarely totally work, techniques for dealing with anxiety and worry work quite well. Some of the books may be useless but read a few and you are bound to find something that helps. Reading a few will also reinforce your non-worrying techniques.

    You don't have to get to 100% success , most of us worry at times but realising that if the worst happens you'll still have the basics and finding out about some coping strategies should help you with this problem.

    Finally never run away from a problem, face it immediately. Burying your head in the sand for a day will give you another 24 hours of worry and you'll still have the same problem except it will seem bigger. Sleeping instead of deciding how to tackle a problem is not wise . Much better to decide what you are going to do before sleep and you'll then have a much better night's sleep and in the morning you'll wake up knowing you solved your problem the night before. Its a lovely feeling.

    Olderal

  • Hiya.

    It cannot be nice or good for you to be such a constant worrier. Also, like you say, it can interfere with your course work, which must be frustrating.

    Would a change in GP help you? Do you see a psychiatrist at all?

    Could you see a counsellor at University, maybe to try and discuss the trapped feelings you describe.

    Cognitive behavioural therapy may be helpful for you too. You could get a book out of the library to read about it.

    I'm wondering if increasing sertraline doesn't help, maybe trying another anti anxiety may help.

    From what I've read, citalopram can help with anxiety - lots of SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors), to which sertraline belongs, can help with anxiety and OCD.

    I'm not medically qualified, I just read a lot (geek) lol.

    Best wishes 💗