I'm 40 with 10 kid's, and I'm sick of crying and feeling alone life is so confusing yet it's just me that feeling it,I was a singer at 14-15, then I just lost everything except myself music it used to be my escape, now I really miss the sanitary it gave me
The 1
Hi Sara 10kids
Welcome to the site everyone here is supportive friendly & non judgemental!
Just to let you know a lot of people are finding life difficult & struggling with depression at the moment! 10 children Wow! Do you have a partner, husband or any family support?
Is it half term at your children's schools st the moment?! So your children have been at home all this week?? Have you had any help or support?
What is the key that has triggered your depression? How long have you suffered with depression?
Have you been to see or spoken to your GP? Are you taking any medication? Do you suffer from any particular type of diagnosed depression?
Sorry for all the questions, it just helps us to understand & get to know you a bit better!
Take Care
spykey
I have clinical bipolar, and something wrong with me in my bones
I've had anxiety and depression since I was 14, yes I'm on medication,I get no support, my family don't want me in there life,kids dad is useless, constantly upsetting me,IV been told now that I may have lupus syndrome, and I also have 3 children with autism 2 of which are severe, I have counselling once a week,
I'm trying to get back on my feet after another large bout of antibiotics and stress, I'm happy to answer any questions, I'm trying hard to write a book at the moment, my councillor advice me to put together a profile explainion so I keep a diary of my moods and panic attacks, my physical health issues have drained me,
Be sure you are not the only one feeling alone ..not the only one ..again dear NOT the only one ..take it from some one like me tired of being sick all the time both (psychologically and physically ) yet the cold blooded doctors say my test results are fine ...so Frustrating 😡😳😩
Omg, so I'm not crazy paranoid delusional and illogical, my doctor has just shoved me on have put me on the dangerous drug registered, purely because they are so high, but to be honest they don't work,I feel sad and lost, but my biggest concern is losing my children,
Hi Sara
Sorry to hear you have & are going through so much & totally on your own with 10 children II can't honestly say I know how how you feel & I'm not going to say I do because I don't! To keep going with mental & physical illnesses is really hard, on this I do know how you feel!L Let alone bringing up children with challenging conditions as well, I'm not trying to patronise you, but I'd say you're a pretty Amazing Mum! I can't see any reason from what you have said that your children shouldn't stay with you! Have you actually been threatened with them being taken away by anyone?
Do you get any sleep at night??
Antibiotics can play havoc with your normal cells let alone hormones & emotions! It also can interfere with how any antidepressants you are taking & how they work, they don't tell you about that bit! So your Bipolar must be throwing your thoughts all over the place! Are all your children school age? Do you get any relief or time to yourself during the day? I can imagine with 10 children you are continually washing clothes & cleaning around the house, finishing just before it is time to pick the children up from school!!
Writing the book/profile sounds great putting your moods, panic attacks & physical conditions, but also hard work! But go for it I'm sure it's helping or going to help especially if your Counsellor has suggested you do it! There must be some specific reason or technique, that she feels it will be helpful to you!
Can I ask what drugs your doctor has given you, especially if they are on the dangerous drugs list? They sound pretty heavy going!!
You are not alone others on the site have bipolar I dont know who or which members! Sorry!
But you are not alone there is also always someone here for you on the site! So keep posting & we'll do what we can to support you!
Sending You Warm Wishes & a hug to remind you you are not on your own! 🤗🤗
Take Care as much as you are able!
spykey
You are the first person in years that has been kind and understanding thanks for the glimmer of hope, I plan to one day be able to help people like me,I just to be normal for my children sake, and yes I have been threatened to lose them, the social worker who said it never put it in any reports so I don't have a leg to stand on,I ain't going nowhere now,I hope to be come alot more involved x
Hi Sara 10kids. I think you are incredibly brave having 10 kids. Kids are demanding noisy little creatures !!! They must be hard work bless them. What ages are they ? I have a lot of grandchildren and know how hard it is but at least I can give them back !! I suffered depression on and off all my life and it's not easy trying to cope when all you want is for people to leave you alone. I'm sorry you have no support at a time when you badly need it. You will get a lot of support on this forum it's helped me. Please keep in touch with us. I hope things improve for you and please seek legal advice if you think you may loose your kids. I wish you well xx
Thanks for your heart warming words they mean alot, I'm so glad I joined up with you lot I feel that I belong, people on here understand me and IV found other people who I can relate to,
You are never alone on here ! I hope you get comfort from knowing people are thinking of you. My heart goes out to you. You have a lot to contend with . xx
I'm already feeling less isolated, you guys are amazing,
Thanks so appreciated,I don't get any help, but I've learnt the hard way that I'm better off on my own, I'm just sick of crying and feeling alone and ill all the time, feeling of hopeless and no more fight, I'm scared as I just wanted to be a good mum and be left be,22 years of being a mum, now I'm possible faceing the fact that my body is given up on me, that is an comprehensive thought and I can't stop it
Hi Sara
How you doing? Just wanted to catch up with you & see how you are doing?!? Do you have the name of the medication you have been put on that is So dangerous?
It's great that you've been posting & getting support from the members on the site! We're like one family that make a body with all its different facets. Bones,Muscles, organs & So many other cells, muscles, veins etc that make up the body also with various gifts to complete the body & we are always here to support you!
Whatever is going on for you, someone on the site will always be there to support you! I'm really glad that you have received support from the site & that you are no longer feeling alone!
Please don't feel scared from what I hear & see what you are posting you don't sound like a bad Mum, infact quite the opposite! The Social Worker who talked to you & threatened to take your kids away, offer any actual support for you & the kids?? I'm sure your kids a well Kempt & well fed when they go to school & you've had no complaints from the school! What then empowers her to say you shouldn't have a problem! Instead of giving out threats should be looking at ways of how to support you & the kids & not crtisising you!
Keep posting letting us know how you're doing & how things are going with you & the kids!!
Warm Wishes & Hugs to cheer you! 💐🤗🤗🤗🤗
Take Care spykey
Thanks so much, just being able to chat about my feelings is really helpful, my councillor is good but as with all councillor they need to nitty gritty bits the bits that you lock away from normal life,I wish I had found you guys alot sooner ,I have come to realise that social services needs to be blown up, they discriminate me because of my mental and physical health, but after 2 years of being watched and critiques constantly it's made me question my ability as a parent, thanks for your patience and support I'll be back later,I have found 1 other people on here that I have been chatting to,I like helping people sometimes it helps me to put my own life in perspective, chat soon
I'm on venvexafin 225 mg a day, I'm on 250 mg of fenfexodine, and I AM now on my 6 chest infections INA year and antibiotics, still havnt heard from hospital about mri, all I can say is that if I'm dying which is how it feels inside then hurry up cos this pain is horrific
Sara, like every one else on the forum I can really only give you sympathy and a web hug. Your courage is amazing and I'm glad you have so much of it.
I'd like to give some practical help and can only suggest that with a partner who does n't sound overly helpful you do two things.
Firstly i would have a calm chat with your older children (calm as you don't want to overly worry them ) about the conditions you have and to ask that they do as much as they can with the younger children to help you. You should explain to them calmly that 10 kids is an awful lot to be raising with little help from their dad and that to keep the family as happy as possible together, and to give the younger ones a good chance you would appreciate their help and patience in raising the younger ones. Even if any of the older ones are near leaving home it would certainly help you with the smaller ones if they could visit at least one day a week if they leave , to give you a break.
Secondly you should tell your partner exactly the same, and tell him if you go under things will be a lot worse for both him and the children. He should know all this anyway but just in case he's got his head in the sand ,that should leave him with at least his head out.
There may be a third thing in that with 10 kids surely social services should be able to offer some help, as again they are probably going to have to provide a lot more if your huge efforts are not available throgh worsening health. I would ask your GP about this, pointing out the toll on your health , as maybe an input from your GP will produce more help from social services.
I have no idea how useful this will be ( I'm a 73 year old male ) but I think you should try all three. I'm hoping your older children are not the ones with autism but if they are even they can probably give you some help with the younger ones.
Olderal
You are so kind but unfortunately, I've already been down all those roads, social services scewtinised me and underhanded try to remove them, as far as the adult in my home I hold no authority between social services and my ex husband I'm sinking in a sand pit, thanks for your help and advice,I appreciate it,I have been down so many official roads and now I just want to curl up and be left alone but my mummy side kicks in,every body has breaking point, you are lovely thanks x
I have tried talking to all of them , one ear out other, and social services turned it against me and tryed to take them into care
Hi Sara. 10 kids omg.u must be so war out. I ad 3 .and believe me my 3kids was so naughty or rowing .I brought um up .but we r funfair traveling showman.so kids don't go to school in sumer that y they went coz I put um in school I put them to school .so after 9yrs bringing up .there dad the man beater toke the 3 of them .that was 9yrs ago.i ad brakedown I fink .I cried so hard .I went to dotor gave me anitdpresents. Ruined me.got me hooked .after 7hrs I stopped them coz I fault it was making my head burn.but I went down like Pake shit.endend up in mental hospital for 3days it was so sceary I shount b in there but my shit doctors let me get that way.i suffa wiv the burning brain now through worrying crying.all I got say to u .is that can't take yr kids of u .they shount scear u to make u worse.i never ad no one to help me still ant .got married to a sweet loving layed bk man.but I still cry .I worry I'll die coz my braine on fire all the time.my doctors never heard burning brain so at mo I'm stuck. Not noing wat corseing it is no my braine damaged. Worrying sceard crying .will corz u to have more health problems. So take a tip from me try find help for u .how old r yr kids .u say u r alone .4 now bringing um up .but u will be looked after wen they grow up .then u never been alone again.let us no how u getting on sara10kids. X😊
Hi like everyone else I am amazed how anyone can cope with 10 children. The thought of it makes my head spin. Surely though they aren't all still living at home? How many are at home? From what you said the oldest must be around 22 in which case they should either be helping or they need to leave home. I really feel for you and well done for coming in here and talking to us. I bet it makes you feel quite a lot better doesn't it? x
I used to be a singer too I stopped to have my children when I went to go back to people started comment on my weight (look how fat she's got)
(she used to be so pretty)
She's let her self go! I feel you lady you must be doing something right to have 10.children
I feel like I am gonna kill my family because I may have brought Covid into our house 
Just ignore me please
I just don't know where to turn.
Someone please give me any advise would help I'm new to this first post!!
Don't know where I'm going, who I am or what my purpose is
