Back to work

[Gazzathomas]

Well I have gone back to work today after a months sick leave. I thought I would at least try and see .. half of me was glad the other half thought to soon and whilst I am still not really all together I was amazed how some people have changed towards me in such little time . I still think going back was something I had to do and will keep plugging away at work till I feel I can no longer do it . It's just a shame that people look at me like a freak and some just don't want to associate with the mental case in the office ...

Sad thing is I never told anyone so Hr must have disclosed to others which i thought I had the right of confidentiality but clearly not in my case

It does set you back and brings feeling to me that I was stupid to go back , the hardest thing today is sitting at my desk and just wanting to cry but holding back the tears out of self pride than anything else

On a positive note it still feels right to be back and in fact for a few moments here and there was a sense of being wanted or needed too

The challenge is for me to try and not let the views and actions of others affect me so much

[Satsuma]

Well done for going back. Wow u have done well as you have not had that long a time off .. In the meantime maybe you could look for another job. What is your passion ? Could you not make a career move on focussing on what makes you truly happy ?

[Gazzathomas in reply to Satsuma]

Hi satsuma , I am looking for a change and also moving flat ... but trying tohundersgand is this my bipolar tendencies making me want this? So I need to move and change jobs? All big questions that keep going around around in my head ....

[Hidden]

Hi well done that's great. It will be really hard at first. I had 6 weeks off then went back in the summer. It was so hard but I decided I was going to be very open with my managers and they were supportive. I was allowed days off for the first couple of week to help me. I also made sure I took a lunch break each day and took a book or my crochet to do so that I could really have a break. I'll be honest it has taken till now till feel completely happy being back but I'm so glad I stuck with it. At times I questioned if I could/should even be at work, 'who was I trying to kid, I was a mental health patient I couldn't manage this' but each time I would take a. Day off sick or annual leave, have a break and try again the next day. Somehow I survived. Keep going and if you can ask for support from your managers to help. Good luck 😀

[Gazzathomas in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Sarah11111 . Yes it feels difficult . I don't think my managers know what to say or do tbh . It's been a mixture of support and not so supportive. The biggest issue I have forgetting all other issues is just how tired and sluggish I feel . I know it's mirtzapine causing this , but never this bad..

Good tip about lunchtime , I usually sit at my desk and nibble or read reports etc so a book or doing something else I will try as well as trying not to skip lunch ..

X

[Hidden]

you just have to keep trying and not beat yourself up too much when it seems too hard 😄 Do let us know how you get the on.

[Gazzathomas]

Thanks Sarah I will... x