Not been on for a while

[Saddoglover]

After having a possitive week a while back I have now had a bad time. I cant get in to a good or ok place again, life is such an effort for nothing. I dont feel like I will ever fit in or be happy, I see people around me who are happy,or are in relationships,and have light in their lives and I have nothing. I cant cope, the way I have been coping has mostly been from selfharm. And I tried so hard to stop that but cant and my keyworker at the community metal health place only sees me every 3 weeks and she just says self harm is my coping strategy and that I will learn new skills and ways to stop but it will take time. ....its hard waiting. ...my time is endless since I have insomnia and go 2or 3days with no sleep then only get3hours when i do....wich is really getting to me, amd contributing to how shit i feel

[Hidden]

Hi I know it's difficult but try to be patient. You only saw the doctor a month ago and it takes longer than that to feel the full effect of your meds and to benefit from the counselling. I bet it took much more than a month for you to get to this pass and there is no such thing as 'instant cure'. You are getting the help you need and in time you will start to feel better, so hold on to that hope.

It's easy to look round you and assume that everyone except you is having a wonderful life. This won't actually be the case and if you looked deeper you would find that they will all have their problems too. Maybe different to yours, but no life is ever plain sailing.

You will get there but give it more time. x

[LoriMS61]

Cough is right. I bet if people looked at you, they would assume you were okay. I smile and have a husband, but I'm not whole.

I won't see a psychologist until September 2017, and I really struggle knowing that. It puts the onus on me to look after myself. I can't expect others to be responsible for my mental health if I'm not prepared to put in the work. It'd be like going to a dietician and telling them off because I haven't lost weight when I haven't changed my diet.

Time is a part of the healing process that is totally undervalued. The human condition means we are incapable of staying permentantly happy or permenantly sad. That brings me comfort.

Lori

Xxx

[Saddoglover in reply to LoriMS61]

Thankyou both for your coments I really appreciate it. I have actually been on antidepressants for about 5 months now, but the dose was increased a month ago. My psychiatrist said that im not mentally stable enough to have the trauma therapy to deal with my past yet. Wich I guess is true as just now I am still using self harm as a coping strategy. But o really am tring to stop. A big issue I have about myself is that i am overweight so am very selfconcious but i really am completely serious now about changing and eating better and doing proper exercise wich will in turn help how I feel about myself as I have so much self hate for lots of reasons but this is the one thing I can change and hopefully finally feel incontrol about. So a few days ago I joined a gym. It is open 24/7 wich is great as with my insomnia it means I can go in the early hours when its not too busy. I really am going to do my best to do the hard work and get myself better. Thank you again for your support. It means alot to me