Hello, I guess...

[Infinitezero]

Hi, I'm new here. I'm here because I am feeling depressed. Earlier this year I split with my partner, we needed to be apart. We'd stopped loving each other and the atmosphere had become toxic... But we have an eight year old daughter, which is why I stayed with my ex long past the time we should have gone our separate ways. My family (mum, dad siblings etc.) live a fair way away, far enough for popping round for brew to be impractical. I have few friends and veey few close ones. I don't have a support network around me. I live at the top of in a cold damp house that my daughter doesn't like coming to, but all credit to her she puts a smile on her face when she does. My guess is she gets that from me, the ability to come across happy while inside everything is grinding up. It's becoming harder and harder to put on the mask everyday, to find it within myself to be around people despite feeling so lonely because people take effort and work and I need that strength to get up today and get up tomorrow and the day after. I've failed my daughter and I don't know how to rectify it. I've failed myself too, but I endure... Just about. I guess i'm here as some sort of catharsis, put words to my feelings and get them out, lighten the burden so the waning strength I have can carry me through one more day. Don't worry, I'm not going to do anything stupid, my last act on this world would never be to saddle my child with questions she'd never have answers to, then I would have truly failed her.

[LoriMS61]

Hi, and welcome to the community. Did you feel a little bit better getting that written down?

You are not alone and there are plenty of people here who can share their experiences and provide you with a little comfort.

I don't have children, so I can't imagine how brave and strong you have to be to hold it together. I didn't have anything to force me to hold on, and I fell apart. My husband helped me put myself back together again luckily.

Could you see this as a chance to have a fresh start? Check out Facebook groups in your area and join. I've just joined a dog walking one, where people meet up and walk their dogs together during the winter months when it's dark.

Lori

[Infinitezero in reply to LoriMS61]

Yeah it helped a little. Thinking about what to write forces some semblance of order to my thoughts, helps put a little perspective to them.