What should I do?

[EndlessPajamas]

I'm new to this and am therefore very worried. I don't even know if I belong here when I read everyone's messages about their depression. A lot of the time I am very sad and have low self esteem. But I don't even know if I have depression. I can't ask my parents about it because I feel very uncomfortable. Whenever my counselor or dean asks me what is wrong, I just say "I'm fine". I don't know why I say this because on the inside I'm screaming to get out. I don't know what I should do? Any ideas?

[Cycled]

Hi go to the NHS website and take the depression test , if it shows you have depression then you have a starting point.

Get out and walk , I find that is beneficial, as you don't feel like strenuous exercise.

Coming to this Forum is a good start.

Depression is treatable and it's okay to talk about it.

[Stigmatised]

Hi, like you I am also new to this site. The fact that you have found this site tells me that you need help and support. I have been struggling for a long time but find it very hard to talk about. Please make an appointment to see your doctor, just to talk through your feelings. I have finally made an appointment - the first step is the hardest but I can't carry on feeling this way. Do you have any friends to confide in who could go with you?

[Doglovingwife]

Take the nhs depression quiz via Google. By the sound of yes you belong here is your struggling and most importantly you have admitted it to yourself by being here, which is a great start. Please make an appointment to see your GP asap.

[Matrix]

I think you totally belong here , why not . You are feeling depressed so you need people who understand what you are going through. Firstly please go and see your doctor and get some help , once you have anti depressants or talking therapy , you will feel better . Depression has many different levels and it's better to get it sorted out earlier . Please try and talk to your parents or whichever parent gives you more support . Take care xx

[EndlessPajamas]

Sorry I haven't been on my computer in a little bit. Thank you all for helping me and I'll see if I can schedule something with my doctor.

[EndlessPajamas]

I think I have a new problem now. I'm afraid to ask my parents about maybe seeing a doctor. I know they won't understand. They will probably make some dumb speech I don't want to hear that will make me feel better for a little bit only for me to return to being depressed. Plus I don't like their logic, they always put so much pressure on me. My brother has failed a class before and he didn't even receive that much punishment. Even after he failed the summer school! But lone behold whenever I am doing bad in school, I get yelled at and grounded while my brother gets to do whatever he wants. It just doesn't seem right!

[EndlessPajamas]

After my last comment I've been thinking a bit. That doesn't mean that I take back any of it, but I've been thinking about me on this site. The thing is I'm not sure if I belong on this site. It seems to me like I'm the only one in high school through what I've seen. Not only that, but I'm wondering if I'm even depressed. I mean it's not like I'm sad 24/7 but it's weird to me how I act in school. Whenever I do something dumb I just make fun of myself and laugh it off to make others drop the subject quicker. But the truth is, I'm actually verbally hurting and abusing myself. And it's not like I can stop because I do a lot of stupid things and don't want others to notice it too much. I'm so confused I don't know what to think anymore.