I just need an answer

Hello again.

This is not as such related to depression, though it is, I just could not find anywhere else. People who have read my posts before will know I go into suicidal episodes, which has been thought to be part of emotionally unstable personality disorder, stemming from childhood abuse.

My GP wanted to make sure of this when he saw me a couple of months ago. So he referred me back to the local mental health team, which is in a different authority to where I used to live. This was all great. I went to the appointment, spoke wih the CPN who listened to me babble for over and hour - this wasn't surprising I know how this goes. I've had numerous assessments before, and I work in mental health.

What surprised me was what he said. The CPN said that he wished to refer me to a psychiatrist for my psychosis. I have known for a long time I suffer from psychosis, it is natural almost when someone has many pressures, and I do have many. Anyway, there was a recommendation that the tentative diagnosis of borderline personality disorder be removed, and schizophrenia instead be diagnosed.

My question really is, I live with my family, they find it hard to cope, because I have lots of stuff wrong already. I want to know where they can get emotional support for this. They don't seem to be reacting well to the idea I could have schizophrenia, particularly because I think they have fallen into the trap of thining those with the diagnosis are low functioning, and I am considered to be 'exceptionally high functioning'.

Anyone know anywhere?


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5 Replies

  • What I have seen with this disability it can be controlled with medications, One I feel is Lithium, of course I am not involved in a professional manner so you will need to bow to your GP and Psychiatrist.

    I do not know your age and your family dynamic, in certain cases in the UK people who are caring for you can in the past get an allowance. and can be given time out to relax. Generally this can amount to a day away, where you could be taken into a day centre.

    My Wife is my carer and does not get this form of relief so you will need to discuss this with your GP, then Social Services.


  • I'm 22. My family dynamic is odd. I live with my mum and step dad, disabled brother and grandmother. My mum gets carers allowance for my step dad, my step dad gets carers allowance for my brother. Basically, everyone in the house needs a carer, and I can't get one because everyone else needs it 'more'. The thing is, I am qualified enough to know I am becoming profoundly unwell. I work in mental health and am qualified in it. So in the brief periods of clarify, I see it. When I settle into my delusions though, I am adament that they are all selfish, not giving me what I need because they're trying to kill me. That subsequently impacts upon my rational thinking. As one would expect.

    I can't have medication. I have a heart problem. Psychiatric meds, standardly, are a no no. They trigger cardiac arrest in me. Which obviously, no doctor wants to do - though I have told them I don't much care. Because unsurprsingly, I actually don't. Yet firstly, I am not competent to make that decision, apparently. Also because they can't do that.

    As far as respite and stuff, I know all that exists but don't think I woudl getit. I work. I choose to work. I enjoy working. For the most point. I have a lot wrong. Visually impaired, walking impaired, non epileptic seizures, mental health problems, heart problems, asthma, stomach problems, my liver and kidneys may be failing, severe chronic pain, clubbed feet.... But social services have offered me limited help because I won't apply for disability benefit. I don't want to. I know that is my own stubborn pride, but you know? I just don't..

  • Your family sounds very dysfunctional and quite codependent on each other, which I'm glad you have a bit of insight into but cannot think this can be healthy for you. In spite of your many medical problems sound a remarkable young man and I take my hat off to you. The fact that you work for one....You have needs and perhaps you need to look at these and challenge those messages you have learnt about yourself from your family, one of them is the need to be as independent as possible (both mentally and physically) and if applying for the benefits you are entitled to enables that then I would urge you to do so. Best of luck

  • Someone on here recommended this site and the work of Pete Walker:


    Your episodes may be what's termed as 'emotional flashbacks'. There is a lot of misdiagnosis and confusion between BPD and what's termed as complex PTSD so do your own research! If you are looking for more answers this site may also help: outofthestorm.website/cptsd...

    Good luck

  • Hi Incomplete, I too have worked in mental health and know it can be difficult to work out which side of the fence you sit at times. Truth be known we could all, each and every one of us, be labelled as having a mental health issue given the right (or wrong, as the case may be) circumstances. But a label is just that. From your family's point they should view you as the same person you were before diagnosis - people diagnosed as schizophrenic and/or bipolar are frequently highly creative and intelligent - and they should be encouraged to treat you no differently. Having said that I would stand with them upon the labelling business. It is extremely easy to acquire and almost impossible to remove once glued in place.

    As you are susceptible to medication, can I suggest you look up Turmeric in connection to each of your conditions: depression, mental health, heart etc. Although it has been used in Ayurvedic medicine for thousands of years, its recognition by western medicine is a fairly recent phenomenon. Even so there have been some 6000+ papers written on it or its most recognised active ingredient, curcumin. From the research it is already being recognised as more potent than many pharmaceutical drugs - something like 34 different pain killers for a start - so it could be used to replace Prozac whilst being used to strengthen your heart an reduce your cholesterol at the same time.

    If you have access to it, the grated fresh herb is the best form to take, about 3 gm a day. Extraction results in the loss of some of the active ingredients and a reduction in bioavailability.