Hopeless

[mysmugcat]

Now I'm 43 but since a teenager I have had little or any goals. I can think I'm 43 no kids why do I keep on living? Counsellors helped a little. I work helping people with little chance of promotion, they have noticed I get stressed with new things so have stopped me. And I still lack anything.

[kimberly434]

Bless your heart. I hope you find peace within your heart, 

[lawlaw99]

Hi there, read your post and thought how brilliant that you get up n go to work wen u feel like that. That's an achievement in itself. Give yourself a break mate you said yourself your work involves helping others so well done you! I honestly wish you well. Keep trying x

[mysmugcat in reply to lawlaw99]

Ty so much 

[Hidden]

Hello Smugcat

Yes I am now sixty five, married with no children, it was Chronic Disability and Depression that made me the way I am, sad to say my condition is caused by an overactive immune system and genetics, as my condition was getting worse through the generations

You say you help people, with no chance of promotion, I do quite a bit of Voluntary Work and have interests in gardening and travel. My Wife and I are interested in historic houses and buildings. That seems to keep us occupied. Even though I suffer a problem with my short term memory

If we look  around and consider trying different things I have found that something always crops up and when that happens we can always run with that interest until we decide if we want to continue or not. Never be put of trying different things.

With my mental health depression I have been very near to the edge and have been lucky enough to have been pulled back from the other side, the problem we have at our first attempt is we may have problems of guilt and that can cause so many problems. I will however say everyone has their own ideas, suicide has many different feelings, some very negative

Are you married with Brothers and Sisters ?. Are your Parents still around ?.

BOB

[mysmugcat in reply to Hidden]

Thank you BOB that helped and you're right. Parents live 2.5 hours away no siblings. Ty.

[Hidden in reply to mysmugcat]

Ty

If you need to talk you know where we are

BOB

[Hidden]

Hi cat join the club.  I am 62 and never married or had children.   I lost my last job at 56 and haven't been able to find a job since.  The only thing I own is my small flat.  I have never had any ambition in life and no goals - except survival.  I have been successful at that at least.   Sometimes those of us with depression have to lower our sights and achieve anything we can.    You are not alone. 

I too find little motivation in keeping going and wonder why I am here.   I have survived all these years by keeping as busy as possible,  and having a couple of hobbies which I love.   I also have some good friends. 

It often does seem pointless though doesn't it?  Sorry I can't offer any solutions but just wanted to let you know you are not alone.  x

[mysmugcat in reply to Hidden]

That means a lot to me thank you. And if you ever want to chat that would be nice. I like to put some flowers in my house sometimes. Daffodils. Happy flowers. lol.

[Hidden in reply to mysmugcat]

You are welcome cat.   I love flowers too and anything which helps brighten the day is good.  x

[Olderal]

An awful lot of people do not have any compelling urge or goals and drift through life , sometimes very happily. I would concentrate on the positives of your life. Yes kids are wonderful ,but they are not necessary to living a full life and enjoying it.

No one has ever satisfactorily defined a point to life but seeking happiness is as reasonable as anything else . If you feel you can't find it you are probably wrong but even then your life will have a purpose if you try to increase happiness by making others happier. This does n't have to be big stuff. pay someone a compliment , buy your workmates doughnuts, make a fuss of a cat,  take your Mum and Dad for an unexpected treat. Try writing a helpful reply to someone on this forum with problems. I suspect you'll find that making someone else just a little happier will make you feel happier.

When you feel you've achieved nothing console yourself with the thought that at least you've never been a concentration camp guard , a wheel clamp operative, a parking warden or any of the things that made people unhappy.

Another positive is that you have the freedom to take up any hobby you wish ,within reason, and there are so many human activities that there must be something you want to do or would be interested in. At 43 you've got plenty of time , I'm 72 and regret very much I won't have time to do all that I would like. I always fancied being a slave driver but what self respecting slave owner is going to take on a 72 year old ?

Olderal

[mysmugcat in reply to Olderal]

Thank you. Yes I do like to help peopke. Thanks for your witty comments as well. Have a good day.