Down

[Shell04]

Well I should be very joyous as I'm having Baby no 4 but life love bee let down seems to be the only thing taking over rite now , am a single mum off 3 and one new baby boy very soon (like any day ) and well not with baby's daddy to long of a story tbh and me mother is getting me to the point were I wonder if its me or her ! And she has made me feel so low that I think bout ending my life ! And so down I cry all the time me mum as lend a bad life and never turned it round that's why am not a drinker or do drugs or smoke as I see what happens to people that give in I've had a hell of a life believe me and I don't see why drink and drugs help I've had to take Happy pills in the past that did help but was due to lifestyle depression or a I situation just find it really hard as I have no one else in my life no friends no party just my mum and just for the last six months she seems to be all over the place not herself she shouts screens lies and is a very manipulative woman and I'm finding this very hard to contain with her she is my mum I don't have feelings for my mum like mother daughter showed due to the way my mum is with me I have always looked after my mum from being young and I have given her own money food everything that I possibly can it's just really hard friend going to personally life is like they are and they don't see their Waze with you

[Photogeek]

Hi Shell and welcome to our Group here. It's very quiet at the moment, ah I'm sorry

That your feeling worried and alone, you certainly have your hands full, but

Children are a great blessing too. It must be very hard for you when you don't

Have a Mum who is there for you, that's very tough, especially now as you

Probably feel worried and vulnerable.

Do you have any support at all? Try not to spend too much time with your Mum

If she is not helping your mood. Have you talked to a GP about your Depression,

That would help I'm sure and you would be directed to get more support than you

Have at the moment.

I live on my own Shell so I can relate to you saying you feel alone, the Forum is a

Great help and the people here are fantastic, supportive and kind too. So you

Have us now so don't feel too alone. Please stay with us for support and I'm sure

There will be others along soon. I'm usually around so please feel free to message

Me anytime for a chat. Sometimes we just want to be listened to and given a hug.

So I'm sending you a big hug Shell, be kind to yourself please and I hope

You will feel a bit better after reading this.

Hannah

[Shell04 in reply to Photogeek]

Thank you for such kind words no I don't have the support that I would like to have all need and trying to ask for what you want and need is very hard I just want people to make me mentally happy and content But it seems no one can do so and with me is just about the little things sometimes if family friends could take the time to put the heart into things as I would would make me happy all do things the way I like things to be done but yes I know I need to go and see my doctor but just right now I'm not having time for me at all with having children and with all been very ill and my little boy is been very ill and all I want to do is eat and sleep and how to make it dance was to sit and have a good adult company and talk

[Hidden]

Oh bless you Shell. I just want to give you a big hug right now. I can't add much to what Hannah has said but will say stay away from people who make you feel bad, no matter whether they are family or not. You are clearly not going to get the support from your mother! Do you have any other family who will treat you better and help you? x

[Shell04 in reply to Hidden]

I wish I could say yes to your question but no I don't I am the rock and the family are sorting out the strong one that can like bosses everybody about the advises them I'll try and help them and advise them so no I don't have anybody I wish I did or should it so much I wish I had amazing friends I wish you had an amazing partner or boyfriend I wish you had an amazing family that weren't so selfish but i'm not that lucky I got some looking at the Waze I've got three beautiful children nearly 4 just before not before comes I just need to think about me a lot more and have rest and do things that please me instead of trying to please everybody else I could have all my life and I want 36 this year and you know I do everything for everybody else and I just don't always feel appreciated and you know I have a sister but she's got little boy she is very allover emotionally mentally physically I think due to the way my dad brought it up obviously we both don't agree I need to this lifestyle I'm very hands on mum cleaning cooking and Housey mum because all the kids of got everything they need and want as in clothes love care support things for school make sure of it making sure everything is in place where my sister is very much about work and his self basically I don't see my sister is being a very mumsy mum at all coming here little boy is the same age as mine for we had them a week apart and I've never actually seen her clean I've never seen a cook a proper dinner I've never seen a go shopping and buy loads of lovely clothes for her son i'm very mumsy mum and if my children need new close I will go and buy new close we don't have to be designed a close Primark but at least I close them and feed them in the looked after and that was in the house I like watching movies and picking out with my children and playing Thomas and trains at my little boy so I'm a very mumsy mum maybe I'll be happy one day

[BonnieSue]

I really don't like hearing how down you are feeling. You sound like you're caring for your 3 children and your Mom. And soon it'll be 4 children. Your Mom sounds like she's been especially difficult lately, but that may be due to the new baby coming and the worries that brings to mind.

I wonder what you're saying in your last sentence. Can you tell me? I don't understand.

Are you excited to see your baby that's coming soon? Sometimes that can be pretty exciting for a Mom. A new little one to hold and hug and rock. Of course, they're work, too. Will you promise if you feel really down after you have your baby that you'll tell your Dr. and see if you should be on some medicine for that for awhile like you were before? It happens sometimes just after childbirth.

I wouldn't want you feeling really down and having so many people to care for. Is anyone going to help you out? That would be great if you had some help. Maybe your Mom could get supper ready? I sure hope so. Well, I hope to hear back from you and I hope you're feeling better soon.

[Shell04 in reply to BonnieSue]

Thank you so much for coming late it's just yeah I'm basically the rock of the family know I'm 35-year-old attraction my kids do all I can for them you know I don't know what is like to buy new things for myself or treat yourself to know her telling nails as I'm not one of those moments that spends all her money on herself my kids come first last and always have done and always will no I don't feel I've got anybody here for me supporting me you're helping me so I'm very much alone I think I just long for a cuddle and someone to hold me to tell me everything is going to be okay but opposite the person I want that from I don't see many more it's just emotions heightened I can't wait to have baby and I just hope everything in the feelings go back to normal and I was anxiety panic feeling low will disappear I know I need to go and see The doctors if it doesn't go away I just refuse to take antidepressants when I am pregnant I don't like taking medication while pregnant only if seriously needed just having a bit of time away from my mum helps me to think that something straight I can say small life cell depression and people around me that depress me in stress me out and all I wish for the end of the day somebody to really be caring and considerate of me an hour I feel

[Hidden]

Hello Sue

Sad that you have no-one around to help you with your children and another one on the way, Where is the Father here He should be all keen to help ?

Sad to say your Mother may feel overwhelmed by your Children and she is showing concern for you and your children, your Mother is most probably suffering stress and also needs to be taken into consideration, Has she in the past Baby Sat for you ??.

If you need some form of assistance your GP will most probably have a list of centres regarding mothers and children.

With regard your Mental Health, generally women who are in their final trimester do feel very low as the body shows stress, sometimes caused by the near birth of their new Child, generally the husband would be there to give support to their expectant wife. Birth should be a time of joy.

You say your children have health problems, you should be getting help there.

Understandably I would make that appointment with your GP about your mental health, one problem of course is the giving of ADs as they could affect the unborn child. So make that appointment as depression is a real problem at a new birth and you need that early support

Social Care can be given although, Generally the child will be given the care of direct family members. Is that lacking ??

BOB

[Shell04 in reply to Hidden]

No there is no baby it's not about all the children's father at all no interest is completely cut off and my mum is just basically a menace to society she has leather really bad life and I think she's going through the same again today and to the wrong people the wrong things she seems very preoccupied and I was the I need 100% support mentally physically I need positivity around me but I'm

[BonnieSue in reply to Shell04]

Shell,

Sending you BIG (((((HUGS)))))) because I care about you! I wish I could be more of a friend right beside you so you would have someone nearby who cares. These hugs will have to do for today.

I hope someday you meet the right guy who will give you the hugs and kisses and be right beside you, caring for the kids with you and supporting you emotionally. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers for that right man to come along.

Please don't hesitate to get on an antidepressant if you feel yourself getting too depressed. Your kids count on you and need you too much. And you deserve to feel better also.

I hope you can get support by coming here and talking to the people here who understand how you feel when you're surrounded by negativity. Do you find that your children's smiles and happiness seem very uplifting? That they do the funniest things? Mine constantly cheered me up because of their sweetness and the unexpected joys of their actions. I wasn't depressed then, but they still were such a delight, despite all of the work they cause. They laugh so easily and their smiles are so beautiful! Don't you agree? If you can focus on them, they are positive people surrounding you to counteract the negative ones.

[Shell04 in reply to BonnieSue]

Yeah I will I know I definitely will probably end up on antidepressants after the baby is born my life has gone through quite a lot and I've had to cope with a lot on my own and not having the right friends and family to understand what you're going through and all my mum ever says is that you need help you need help and really should put hell of a lot on May so yeah I probably do need help with it but you know I know when to put my hands up and surrender and my oldest children off 15 and 13 boy and a girl and my youngest is four so it is always at home with me at the moment it does go to nursery from just trying to get the support in helping take into nursery which I'm finding very difficult as my mum as I said is just not helping and supporting I've got no one else to lean on yes my little boy does make me smile inside and everything I just to smile on the outside I am never ever smile I don't beam I don't shine I just very within myself very withdrawn from everything all day I've been in there for John was in dressing gown like an old woman and I just can't be bothered to to do anything

[Shell04 in reply to Shell04]

Today I've been at my loneliest even though I've had my little boy all day and my children have both been sent home from school run with severe toothache and the other one got hit in the face with the ball still feel very much alone very much so I don't place to be and I suppose one deep deep in your mind and your heart you just want the way out

[BonnieSue in reply to Shell04]

You have older children along with a 4 yr. old, which is a good age to enjoy. I think you've just had it with this being pregnant business and you're ready to have the baby. I don't blame you one bit.

I'm sorry that today is a bad day. I wish I could change that. Can the older 2 do anything that will be helpful? Run an errand? Something they don't normally do?

I'm in my jammies, too. Why not be comfortable? Why should I get dressed? I will if I need to, but not yet. I can always toss some clothes on if there's an emergency or something similar.

Anyway, you're kids are home safe, no one's terribly ill, no great tragedies, so that's a big plus. How do you expect you'll feel once you've had the baby?

[wentworth67]

Hi what date is baby due xxx

[Shell04]

Date 22 X but I was in and out of hospital because baby was small and having scans every two weeks and been put on the CTG monitors twice a week then everything was okay then at one point the monitoring was all over the place he wouldn't settle down so they thought he was in distress and a hat to have the steroid injections which scared the hell out of me and I'm just that big I don't mean I'm becoming my baby bump is quite big and quite low and dropped and everything is causing me a lot of pain when I walk around all different things so really you know I'm coming up to 39 weeks so any time baby could come sooner the better for me now

[wentworth67]

Are you going in Doncaster hospital so you could have him anytime just try to stay calm and take things easy I no its hard with other children but you've got everything to live for.It will all be worth will in the end stay strong chin up and sending you all my love Paula xxx