I am trying so hard to set my sleep schedule right but the whole day i feel sleepy and at night I feel my heart is fluttering and my breaths make it skip beats. I feel terrible all morning. My head feels like there is something cold in it and it feels like it isn't there. And my chest hurts sometimes and I feel I am depersonalized all day. I feel so detatched. I see my friends moving on with life. They have all the things I want. They sleep properly and don't have to struggle like I have to. They are in universities and med school which is something I crave so bad. I'm so tired of trying and failing. One of my friends got in by paying extra for a seat and another because her family was full of doctors. And I feel sad because they have what i want so bad but they don't have to work harder even though they had lesser marks than me. I feel left behind. And lonely. I feel lost within myself while the world is moving on. i feel like a failure. And i feel nothing good will ever happen for me. I have been suffering for so so long. And nothing good is happening to me. Its all becoming too much now. I want good to happen now. 😔😔😔 idk how to deal with disappointment because my previous books of MCAT are just making me sick to my stomach. I can't touch then but I can't get in without them.