Very low

I know this will sound stupid.

Our cat Mr Bigglesworth (Biggs) was 17 he has been acting strange for a few months and has really got worse over the past two weeks, he wouldn't come into our sitting room, he loved to sleep on one of our settee's and given the chance he would sleep on anyone of our three beds. He has been walking into things so we had a good idea he was blind, we took him to the vets and he confirmed he was blind but he also had more problems which although he wasn't experiencing any pain his quality of life was not good, we had him put to sleep I can't stop crying, my wife was obviously very upset but she is shocked at just how upset I am.

I don't know why I've said all this because nothing anyone can say will make me feel any better.


7 Replies

  • I am heartbroken for your loss of your very special family member. I cried for three days solid when my died. And I had nightmares of him being cold outside buried in the ground. There is no right way to grieve or wrong way. Biggs is your son who just happened to also be cat. The loss is no different when you share such a strong bond with each other.🌹

  • All this is quite normal, we lost our first dog Pip four years ago to cancer, we had to have Him put down as He was becoming so bad, He was living dead.

    We could not get over our loss and we had his ashes put to one side, so that He can be buried with me when I go.

    Before getting a new dog we took three holidays, one in the UK the other two in Europe.

    When we came back we were going to get a new terrier and we notified Dogs Trust the type of dog we wanted. They sent us a list of dogs and we chose Pax, a Welsh Collie Cross. He actually chose us and we had no idea we were going to end up with a Collie.

    Give yourself greive, the cat was part of you and family therefore you will miss this family member as all cats and dogs seem to have symbiotic relationships to their adopted family.

    Pax is Pax a new pet, member of the family. He has own way and has a different way to show needs and love. He is a different person who needs our love and attention so personally our relationship has grown over the four years we have had him.

    Sometimes at home when sitting in the living room I feel I see PIP walking around a corner just out of my eye, so it is just a glimpse. We will meet again when my time comes as will my wife and Pax. We are all family and all will be a joyful reunion when we all will part this complicated world.

    Pip used to love Scottish Ferries, so we have arranged a holiday on the boats in Scotland. Pax seems to like holidays although if He is left He objects. Pip had many of the same things as Pax and we wonder if there is something there that both dogs now share. There is a comfort there and that seems to help us accept our recent family member. We never really compare both these family members, they are different in their own sweet ways


  • Hi Bertie I'm really sorry for you, Losing a beloved Pet is heartbreaking and it is

    A grief. Please accept that your upset and give yourself time to grieve. It takes

    Different people different lengths of time to come to terms with a loss.

    17 is a great age for your Cat and you were blessed to have him that long. I have

    Had a few of my cats die and I too was heartbroken. I had my Burmese cremated and

    I have his ashes in a little wooden box in my bedroom, every night I say goodnight

    To him and this helps me. He was so loving.

    Try and think of all the good times you had with him. The thing is that deaths

    Affect us more if we are Depressed , I think we get more grief stricken.

    I have a lovely Poem I will send you.

    Please look after yourself and come on here and we will cheer you up.


  • like hannah just said we two cryed more after loosing our cat whiskers,than we did about loosing a relative, you become your pets parents & like any child you always want to cherish them, our vet samantha was great in making the nesssecery arrangments, but also found us our present cat called wesley, an all black burmese, and she told us black cats are the hardest to rehome, my wife diane died barely six weeks ago & she wanted his ashes place with hers & in doing so they now sleep together with me at home as he was in indoor cat,i cry every day but i am happy that i have them at home.

  • Hi BB I am so sorry you lost your lovely cat. It's awful and I have been through it too. I know this won't take at the moment but you did the best thing for him and are clearly a loving and caring owner.

    I lost my beloved 17 tear old Sophie cat around 18 months ago and was inconsolable. I sobbed my heart out at the vets. For the next 4/5 days I felt like a cat murderer and saw this every time I looked in the mirror. All I could see was I took my cat (who loved and trusted me) to the vets to be killed. I felt just the way you are feeling now and nothing anyone said made a difference until that time had passed. I thought I would always feel totally disgusted with myself but this will ease in time and the loving and understanding messages you are getting will then be able to comfort you.

    Trust me and be patient with yourself until that disgusted feeling passes.

    Love and hugs Bev xx

  • Hi BB

    You have every right to feel like this and it's perfectly normal, Biggs was a very special part of the family and when we lose a pet it can have a devastating effect on our lives.

    We had a pet Rabbit called Thumper that passed away due to operation complications after a routine operation that I decided to put their through. So as you can imagine I was heartbroken and regret it to this day.

    I try to remember the good times that we had chasing her around the garden and her being so amazingly good looking. Please don't question yourself on why you cry it's ok for men to cry too, I'm supposed to be a tough old rugby player but hey I cried watching HOOK the movie with Robin Williams, so don't let it worry you my friend.

    Remember the good times with Biggs and I hope you feel good soon x

  • Thank you all for your kind thoughts and comments, one of our grandsons looked up to the sky and waved bye bye to Biggy Boy, he was very upset, then this morning he asked his mam when Biggy Boy was coming back, he's only 4 and doesn't understand. I'm looking out of the window and I can see Biggs trotting back to our house after being in the neighbours garden, it's still heart breaking but I know we did the right thing for him.

    I saw the doctor today, she wants to refer me for psychiatric help, I'm just so mixed up.