By some miracle I did not get fired yesterday. My employer and management found in a big way I have been doing a horrible job at one important aspect of my job. Embarrassingly horrible. But they want me to stay and do lighter duties and said they would give me time off if I need it. So that is very amazing.
How does everyone else feel when they are outed to having a poor performance and mental illness? I feel there will be a lot of tongues wagging this week when other people are doing my regular tasks while I am there doing super light duties.
I am seeing my doctor this week as soon as possible. In all the kindness everyone has shown me- the sad part is that I am quite ill. Reminds me of when families who are close gather around for the passing of a relative. Everyone is chatting away and reuniting after not seen each other in a long time. But then you realize it took a sad thing to show everyone's compassion for each other.
Please let me know how you deal with being embarrassed if people discovered your mental illness on their own? I feel very poorly and disappointed in myself.