Not feeling great

Hello, um, i'm 16 and have my GCSEs coming up in the next month and a half and the stress is really getting to me, as well as having 'friends' who make fun of me for not doing drugs, i'm almost always arguing with my parents and family and find myself really not having any enthusiasm in day to day life, and having no positive outlook on my future, career wise, and other.

I do have a girlfriend that means the world to me, she's almost like a safe haven from all the crap i have to put up with, but recently it's overwhelming, I've had suicidal thoughts before but managed to shun them away although i have self harmed multiple times, and tonight i cried for the first time in over a year, and during a recent talk with my parents i realised i really don't enjoy anything in my life, i have no hobbies and i don't enjoy any subjects at school. I no longer get invited to any kind of social gatherings and it's come to my attention that I've been slowly rejecting my friends more and more.

My dad isn't exactly a good father, I'm somewhat scarred by an experience i had where he and i were at a friends barbecue and he had drank a lot, he attempted to take me home but was barely able to stand, it ended with me knocking on a door in the middle of the night to get the owner to phone the police, and not long afterwards he was taken away. This will stay with me for a long time and i dream about it very often.

Honestly, i just don't know what to do.

3 Replies

  • You need to talk to someone, does your school have a counsellor you could talk to or maybe your tutor or year leader?

  • Not doing drugs is such a wise thing. Anyone who is your friend would respect your choice. Also when someone is suffering from depression recreational drugs can cause serious side effects. Including addiction so great nothing in this world would matter other than drugs. So you are very intelligent to say no. Avoid that can of worms all together. I never drank when was on school- my parents made moonshine in the basement from Orange and grapefruit peels- and the last thing I ever wanted to do is to turn in to the train wreck their lives had become. I told everyone I was allergic to malt and citrus. That was my way of making them back off. However just saying no thankyou should of always been enough.

    Sounds to me you are suffering from an illness called Depression. Although only your doctor can say that for sure. The memory of your Dad at the barbecue sounds very important to why you feel so weighed down emotionally. If you talk to your doctor they can help you understand why you keep dreaming about it. Sucidial thoughts are a huge sign of depression. The only good news is that there is help available.

    I think you need to talk to a counsellor who can help you decide what are something's you can try to start feeling better. You should not suffer like you are! You deserve to be happy and enjoy things again. Please even though it is difficult - confide in a counsellor or your medical doctor. I lived a life time of depression and only started getting help when I constantly was crying and was going to loose my job. Please get help before things get worse. You can feel better! But there is a few steps to take first.

  • DO NOT DO RECREATIONAL DRUGS! INCLUDING ALCOHOL! You might feel good while the drug is in your system but the withdrawals are terrible. You willl feel even more depressed and anxious and stressed which will cause you to seek more of the drug. Speak to a psychiatrist about going on antidepressants/anti-anxiety meds, but perhaps talking to a psychologist is all you need. Take care :)



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