New here and just need to talk


I am 37 and have suffered with depression for 15 years. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder about 6 years ago. I am at the start of another episode although I never really ended the last one. I am under a lot of stress at the moment as my husband is currently charged with causing death by careless driving. He hit an old man while we were driving. The guy was crossing the road when he shouldn't have been and as our light went green and we turned right he was in my husbands blind spot and as we saw him we hit him. Our solicitor isn't sure that he would be successful if we tried to fight it due to other complications. She is currently asking for some expert help but if this comes back the same as what the prosecution say then we have no hope. At which point it would be best if he pled guilty as it will lessen the sentence and it may come out as a suspended sentence. Of course he could still end up in prison. I am at my wits end as he is my full time carer. I have mobility issues as well as under active thyroid and sleep apnoea on top of my bipolar disorder. All of this caused me to stupidly take an overdose early this year. I am being secretive around my family and not letting any of them know just how badly this is effecting me. I am talking to my professionals though so I am getting some support there. I guess mainly I need to offload to someone I don't know. It is easier for me this way as then I know someone is listening but I don't have to look at the faces of my family where I can see that they are not understanding me and my fears. They all know what the depression feels like as they have all suffered before but I am starting to suffer with anxiety on top of my highs and lows. I frequently feel like I can't cope and have no idea what I will do without my husband if he gets locked up.

Thanks for reading and letting me get this out



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8 Replies

  • hello Wilsden77, I am sorry to read of your struggles and that this site is so quiet today.

    I just wanted to let you know that I've read your post and will be back on tomorrow. I am sure that by then others will have replied.

    it's very likely that those who have read your post up to now often don't know what to reply.

    I'm hoping you both manage to get some sleep.


    hamble :)

  • Hi Wilsdon, i really feel for you you guys as a family, i do however think you should let them know how you are feeling, theyy cant support you if they dont know, no one can fix the problems your husband has except his lawyeri am sure they will try their hardest, i dont really know what else to say, a horrid situation to be in for everyone involved, try and rest k x

  • Hi I shouldn't think your husband would go to prison if it wasn't his fault, and you are doing well by talking to health professionals, suicide is never the answer, the family left behind bear that burden forever, I think you should talk to your family, about everything you are going through, you really do need them, we all do, it is easier to talk to strangers your right there, this site is very good people here are all going through their own problems, but do find time to listen and give advice if they can, you are never alone here, good luck. Annette

  • Hi Wilsden 77, i feel so sorry to hear about all your situation but one u should keep

    in mind u r not alone suffering from this disease and if one key is not effective for lock then think about another key means don,t stop thinking ,think different options try to

    calm yourself take deep breaths go for help if u think its needed ,don,t be ashamed ,don,t feel helpless u can do ,u can cope ,people survive with even more bad situations

    than u have ,life does,nt end be brave and try to fight though its difficult i know bc am

    also suffering depression and so many things but still am never wana quit infront of any kind of disease so cheer up .

    am here to listen

    good luck

  • Hi Wilsdon I'm really sorry that you are in this worrying situation. All

    You can do is leave it in the hands of your Solicitor.

    Try and get support from family too and friends and tell they about how

    You are feeling.

    Don't assume your husband will go to Prison, Judges take all the circumstances

    Into consideration when they make a decision. They will also look too at your family circumstances and your illness and your dependence on your husband.

    Please make your Solicitor aware of all your illness issues as its up to

    Your Solicitor to bring all your family and health situations before the judge.

    So maybe ask your Solictor to get letters from your GP stating the severity

    Of your mental health.

    Keep in touch with us here and it will help too, as its a very tough time

    For you.


  • Hello

    Most probably your husband will be bound over and will need to be seen by an officer of the court, I think that is how it goes. He will most probably end up having his licence taken of him at least so you need to look at that as the minimal action. The fact of insurance and road tax will also come into this as will the condition of the car

    I understand your concerns and condition and it may be a good idea to discuss with your CPN etc if a report may be an idea for the court.

    One thing I have not seen here is the sympathy for the person who died at the time of the accident the court will be looking for some sorrow and sympathy for the family and their loss. I would imagine your CPN and mental health workers will be considering the outcome of the accident as when push comes to shove there is more than one side to this. Although again they will show consideration to your feelings.

    Your husbands Solicitor will possibly need to see some form of regret as someone has lost their life here weather old or young.


  • Hi

    Of course there is a great deal of sorrow on our part for the death of the gentleman as it came as a total shock. At the time of the accident, everyone including they paramedics thought that he only had a fractured ankle. He died almost 3 weeks later of pneumonia. It was a slow speed accident and so we all thought that he would be ok. There is remorse and I can understand the feelings of the family as my grandma was hit by a hit and run driver about 12 years ago she lived but the dementia that had started to show was total by the time she left hospital.

    I am hoping for the best and fearing the worst.

  • Hello

    Be kind to yourself and understand someone is going to support you as one of the innocent as it would seem you were not involved in any way with what happened. It is always those who are innocent that seems to be affected most. You will need help after the Court and you will most probably feel stressed for quite a time afterwards.

    Do you have any children ??

    Take care


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