I'm determined to get myself better to prove to my soon to be ex-husband that I am even stronger than he thinks I am. He doesn't know his actions have caused my depression and he doesn't know that I'm on anti-depressants. I had a pretty decent nights sleep today without the help of sleeping pills as I have been pushing myself to do a little bit more exercise everyday. I brought a Fitbit to see how well I sleep and also how many steps a day I was doing. My sleep patterns were horrendous which I knew anyway and steps per day were well below the recommended 10k. I preserved to do a few more steps a day and I managed to go for a long walk yesterday. I was exhausted and had the best nights sleep in over 18mths! It's a vicious circle, I'm tired all the time from 2 kids, work and lack of sleep so exercise is the last thing on my mind, however I think I've broken the circle today! I've been having counselling and also doing CBT. I will beat this! Thxs to all the people who read and commented on my last posts! Although I have lots and friends and family who are supporting me, it still feels like I'm battling this alone because they don't understand what is going on in my head. Xx


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5 Replies

  • Hi Smartie it can't be easy for you with a divorce looming and I do feel for you. Congrats on staying so positive. Keep busy, stay strong and you will come out of all this a better and more positive person. Hugs Bev xx

  • Thxs Bev! One day at a time is how I'm getting through this! Xx

  • That is definitely the way to do it love. One day at a time. Before you know it you will be there and life will seem good again. Well done Bev x

  • When I divorced my abusive husband I had no idea where to go or even who I was anymore. The expression - you can't see the forest threw the trees- summed up how I felt. It has been 15 years for me since that time- and it is like the sun finally can shine! It takes awhile - and be okay with yourself if you have a step back now and then. My life is so different from then. You are doing everything right by exercising and taking your medication. My ex husband would not let me take medication... Anyone not encouraging you and supporting you does not qualify to drag you down. You don't have to disclose your health/depression with anyone until if and when your comfortable. You sound like an amazing lady.💐

  • Well done you, you are your own person be brave, mainly for the kids, but with that you'll get your pride back, catch yourself smiling and being calmer, a new or rather the old you back, you the real person not the person your husband turned you into. Keep going kiddo xxxx Dens xxx