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Humphrey42 profile image
15 Replies

Hello everyone.

This is just a chat really. I was surprised to learn that males suicides have increased. That they are mainly committed by men 78% and that they are 40-65 range. Its surprising that this is really the only forum I've found that men can discuss their concerns. To get things off their chest on a regular basis.

There also s obviously the Samaritans which have been in my experience been very good and helpful.

I have no real value in the world. I have to make some effort to try and socialise and be part of group whether it be physical or interest. There are too many men alone, just go in a pub. It's not a happy experience. I go in their just to be around people.

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Humphrey42 profile image
Humphrey42
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15 Replies
Stilltrying_ profile image
Stilltrying_

Hi Humphrey, yes it is really good that we have this forum and also that you can put how you feel into words on the forum. Yes i can understand you going to the pub to have people around you; sometimes i go and sit in a cafe for the same reason . You seem to have a low opinion of yourself I have noticed. I am very very tired myself today, have had my meds changed and so can't write too much but did want you to know I had read your post and I hope it can help a bit being able to tell us how you are feeling.

Gemma Xx

Humphrey42 profile image
Humphrey42 in reply to Stilltrying_

Thank you Gemma, Yes thank you for all your other replies. They are useful. Have a quick nap- or have a red bull! Look after yourself. Andy

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek

Hi there , yes in Ireland male suicides are very high , with figures rising this year too.

I suppose all we can do is to try and connect and do what we can. I live alone too but

I would never go to a bar on my own. I guess I'm not a pub person . I think it can

Be hard for men when they feel down as Society expects them to be strong and

Keep a stiff upper lip.

I don't know what to say except we have a choice over our thoughts and we

Can make choices that will help us. I know it's not easy but we have to do

Our best, and I feel I have to deal with the cards that life has dealt me. Which

Is being positive and keep going

Hannah

jue1 profile image
jue1

Hi , Nice post - but try and look at the bigger picture for example:: young people who kill themselves my daughter told me just the other day that somebody she knows hung himself in the Halls of Residence in Uni the other day in his room only 20 years old (hushed up though not to upset other students) And reading a lot of posts of this site I am really concerned over the amount of young people requiring support from a site like this just show's you its our young people who seem to be at risk why? i could write a book on the subject so i will stop here. jue1. Its a concern why this age group of men 78% that seems high

maybe social factors but who knows? certainly not stress Women do all the work ha ha jue1

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek in reply to jue1

Yes Jue I am really shocked at the amount of young people contacting

This site lately, from 13 upwards.

Life for teens now has a lot of pressure and they are easily influenced

By Celebrity culture and there is pressure to look a certain way and

All this " selfies" Young people seem to be more narcissistic and I

Think maybe parents can give them too many material things and not

Enough emotional input

All we can do is put good support services in place and be there for them

And not put too much pressure on them.

Hannah

Findingme profile image
Findingme

Hi jue

I hope those students get offered some counselling. Hushing things up rarely works, just makes people stop communicating. Secrets usually get out anyway. Better they are open and help people deal with the issue than leave everyone feeling confused and possibly guilty at not preventing it. Not that I'm suggesting you tell them this, but I'm concerned your daughter may need some help and feel she can't talk about it.

warren218 profile image
warren218

It's not surprising. I'm now in that age range and I don't have my life what I'd call 'sorted'. When all around me most people do. When you've got no assets, only debts and things don't seem to be looking up you can get really down, to the point where you wonder if it's worth going on. I've made a lot of mistakes in my career, a lot of it but not all is down to having a bad personal life. Even so that doesn't warrant the severe lack of breaks I've had in my life. I'm no 'victim' but I don't deserve life being this hard.

Humphrey42 profile image
Humphrey42 in reply to warren218

Hi Warren, Stick with it. Life can be good. What would make you feel good today? When ever I feel really down I listen to birds in a park or watch porridge on TV. All the best Andy

jue1 profile image
jue1 in reply to warren218

I agree Warren218 --- The Government did not take the Student Loans in England seriously enough I am sure the long term in pack will come back to haunt them its called calmer / what go around comes around!!! Young people in England and Wales have a raw deal currently.

Watch this space. (People will just leave the country or never pay the loans back) and surly will not vote!!

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek

Hi Warren stick with it and don't compare yourself to anyone. We are all

Individuals and we all have a different personality and genetic code .

Going through this will make you well able to cope later on as sometimes

People who never had a problem then they cannot cope when have a problem.

Warren are you getting support? I hope you are and please look after yourself

And just be yourself.

Warm hugs

Hannah x

Hello Humphrey

We are always here for a chat and support if you need it. We can generally understand the reasons and give a listening ear

The reasons for Male Suicide generally fall in several main groups and really I feel that most should just be passed over and therefore we need to worry about ourselves and understand we need to know where we can get support. I am sixty five soon and still I understand my age is one of those that people suffer at least a try-on when they reach for the pension book.

Personally I would imagine that many suicide attempts are screams for help that do go wrong.

BOB

Hello Humphrey

I do not go into the Pubs any- more although I like a beer and a malt whisky, or a couple of bottles of pear cyder. Generally I try and look into something to do with mental health. or with my GP Surgery PPG etc.

that seems to help me feel I am doing some good and the Think Tanks and associated positions I hold keep me on the straight and narrow and I then feel I do some good for others with problems far worse than my own. Although with time the NHS expect more of its volunteers as time goes by. I meet some very nice people on these does and that helps me put my disabilities into some form of order

BOB

I think it is much easier and acceptable even in this day and age for a man to go into the pub on his own. I generally wouldn't but I do to my local sometimes as I know quite a few people there. I do envy men their freedom sometimes.

I understand why suicide is a leading cause of death in men of a certain age as they generally find it harder than women to admit they have a problem, then to talk about it. Is it the male ego? I don't know. If you look on any depression site there are a lot more women than men.

Also mens depression tends to take a different form to womens - ie men externalise more often leading to aggression and drinking whereas women are more likely to internalise their feelings. Aggression and anti social behaviour leads to more antagonising of others. Women find it easier to share their worries with female friends but often men put all their emotional eggs in their partners and if this goes wrong they have no other outlet for their feelings.

I am worried too about all the youngsters who seem to be suffering more mental health problems than ever before and I think this is down to too much choice nowadays and life is too complex and stressful for them. I don't have any answers though.

Bev xx

Dale20 profile image
Dale20

We could discuss here and let out the feeling that we've been keeping all this time.

warren218 profile image
warren218

Just wanted to say thanks Hannah for your words and anyone else. Trying to keep my head up as much as I can x

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