positive or not?

went swimming yesterday afternoon, felt great. Last night meeting with village hall committee, although sympathetic, don't really understand how bad I feel, will feel guilty if I give up as treasurer but it is driving me down. Cried when having my nails done this morning as I couldn't pretend everything was okay. Have made appt. to see GP this afternoon as i can't deal with this any longer, back to medication I suppose.

Sorry, really down, crying now. I hate this weakness.

17 Replies

  • Hi having depression and crying isn't a weakness love - depression is an illness like any other and needs treatment. Well done for the swimming session and good luck at your doctors. x

  • It's not weakness, it's just the way your brain is wired. You have different coping methods from others.

    I have been on the brink of tears the last few days as well. Almost cried at work this morning but managed to hold it back. Feeling quite overwhelmed lately as going through a break-up. There are no hard feelings and in a way that can make it harder to let go. So I feel I'm dealing with a lot of emotion. Sometimes I feel I wasn't enough for him and I feel like a failoure if I think about my failed uni course too often. So I know how you feel. But I don't see it as weakness. You can't help the things that appen to you in life.

    I think you should quit being the treasurer. At the end of the day your health is the most important thing and you need to protect it. If you're not coping with iy then it may be best for you to walk away. Especially if it's tipping you over the edge xx

  • Hi WTC . January is a hard month at the best of times. Be good to

    Yourself and try not o dwell on your teacher course . Not everyone

    Is suited to this WTC so don't let that get you down.

    Hannah x

  • I see your point Hannah. Because of the AS I have a really hard time letting go of things, I'm not so sure I ever do let go which is emotionally exhausting.

    I know not everyone is suited to it, I definitely wasn't. But it was all I could see in my future all the way through my honours degree and then a year after that when getting teaching experience. But oh well, hopefully I will get over it eventually. My life is an emotional drag at the moment. Sometimes I just well up because I miss him so much. I have felt like that the last few days. I can go from wondering how he could do that to me to worrying about how he's doing and coping. He admitted he misses me and missed me over christmas and had to keep himself busy. It was nice for him to admit that. But I feel like I still want to be with him. I feel worse now than I did at the strat of the break up!

    WTC XX

  • Sometimes, something's just got to give. In this case, your role as treasurer. Don't beat yourself up over it. Well done for making a decision that will assist you in getting better and well done on the swim. Hope you feel better soon. Keep posting xx

  • Hi Taz how are you feeling today ? I hope your ok and not feeling woozy

    And that you rested too.

    Hannah x

  • Hi Maman , Firstly you are Not weak, but you do sound Depressed. When

    We are Depressed we don't cope well with stuff that we would have had

    No problem with before.

    Our confidence can be reduced and I think your right to go to your Dr.,

    It's good to sort it out now and do t let it drag on.

    Do you have to make a decision about this job right now? Maybe wait till

    You feel better.

    Hannah xx

  • Thank 's, no I don't have to make a decision now but I'm getting some suggestions from friends and family that I should give up the job. I want to wait and see what the GP suggests. Hard to know what to do. Regards Lorna

  • Hi Lorna I am now agreeing with WTC that you should call

    Time on the job. Your health is your wealth. If it's upsetting

    You so much it's not worth it.

    Hannah x

  • Saw my GP, she's given me Fluoxetine tablets for the next two weeks then I have to go back and see her again. Got the feeling she thinks I should give upon the treasurers job. Have to do some thinking about that. Also wants me to consider telephone CBT. Has anybody tried it and was it useful. Thanks for all the good wishes. Regards Lorna

  • I've not had telephone CBT but the counsellor I see is a trained CBT therapist and that tends to be his approach. I would thoroughly recommend it x

  • Thanks, I will probably try it but just now I only cry, so until the medication takes hold it wouldn't be much use. Regards Lorna

  • Good morning Lorna

    I think there is a massive positive in what you've posted and that is that for a time after the swimming you felt great. Focus on that rather than the negative of how the Treasurer role makes you feel. In a time when you are unwell, you have found something that lifts the gloom and makes you feel brighter that is a massive positive. Can you make swimming part of your regular routine so you know that however bad you are feeling, in a day or so you will have the swimming and the relief this gives to look forward to? In my experience, having a positive thing to look forward to can give you the motivation to get through the harder times.

    Surely the Treasurer's role is not worth making yourself ill over is it? Be kind to yourself and take a back seat for a while. Get yourself stronger & brighter and who knows you may be ready to take this on at some point in the future. Why should prioritising yourself & your health make you feel guilty?

    In my opinion the CBT would be a good thing for you to try as it takes these negative thoughts such as I am weak or I am letting people down and gets you to analyse these by looking at the evidence both for & against. Invariably you will come up with a different conclusion if you look at the evidence. It is our negative self-talk that leads us to incorrect thinking patterns which can be reversed with some hard work.

    Above all, be kind to yourself as you would be to a friend who was in the same position as you are.

    Take care.


  • Thanks for your support. I have joined a swimming group which meets every Monday afternoon, we are all unwell either physically or mentally, so we can all support each other. Not going to make any decisions about treasurer's job until I feel I'm thinking a bit straighter, but I'm letting people know that I have problems and need more support. If they chose not to help then that will probably help me make a decision but I'm trying not to worry about it. Regards Lorna

  • That sounds about right Lorna. Hope it all goes well and may the right thing happen is sometimes what I say to myself when I am unsure about things. It isn't always a good idea to give things up when they are difficult but you will know what is the right thing to do I am sure.

    Best of luck,

    Gemma X

  • Erm couldn't this be a blip? I mean f you really don't want the meds can't you and doc talk about alternatives, surely the answer isn't meds, cope on your own or the highway. Maybe they could refer you to a group therapy? Or a councellor.

    Dont do stuff you don't want to do. And sort out the Councel stuff when you feel strong enough, Rome wasnt built in a day. Come on Angel you are a touch cookie and you can do this, it okay to feel bad, but you know it may be okay tomorrow. Look at birds, enjoy the sunshine, rest listen to radio 4 plays, give yourself a break and maybe this s just a blip.

    Sending a BIG HUG and a KISS XX

  • grr they get me everytime, this said a few minutes ago and next it says two months ago! Ahhh

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