How do you motivate yourself? - Mental Health Sup...

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How do you motivate yourself?

CarolineLondon profile image
17 Replies

Should we have an accountability page? I am therefore I....

Have a shower

Go to the Bank

Go to PC World

And book a course

OR

I am therefore I stay in bed because its cold and fanny about?

Any hot tips please? For those like me who are starting in 2nd gear today would be gratefully received.

Does the answer lay in porriage I wonder? Nope not motivated to make that either...lol.

X

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CarolineLondon profile image
CarolineLondon
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17 Replies
Photogeek profile image
Photogeek

Hi Caroline very good Post.

What helps to motivate me.

1. I make a small Todo List the night before.

2. The minute I wake up I switch on my radio in the bedroom, that really

Helps to drag me kicking and screaming into the day.

3. I make a breakfast that I like could be Porridge or Toast and Banana and

peanut Butter or Yogurt and fruit in summer. I am a real breakfast girl.

4. I lay out my clothes the night before so I don't have to faff about

Wondering will I wear the slinky dress or the leather mini skirt, lol.

But usually end up I. My uniform of black jeans And top and Uggs.

5. I try and factor in a little reward for myself every day. This doesn't

Have to cost anything . A phone call to a friend or a little walk or

A coffee and cake in a cafe. Listening to favourite music.

6. Don't make too many plans and objectives for the day, keep it

Simple . Balance the To do list with Work. Pleasure and General wellness.

7. Check the IPad And look at this Forum, and helping someone

Can help me too.

8. Run in to the bathroom and run the shower even if I don't

Feel like having a shower. Use a minty zingy shower gel.

Caroline these points are not in any order, and I know its a bit long ,

But I find it hard to motivate myself, I really have to work at it.

Hannah xx

CarolineLondon profile image
CarolineLondon in reply to Photogeek

That's Brilliant Hannah, thank you so much!

I did make the porridge ( and because of you Ive just learnt how to spell Porridge...hoorah!)

And I rang about the course but they arent back until next week!

I like your idea of merely jumping in the shower!

The above is my small list but forgot to add tidying....arrggg.

Love the laying out of clothes, that's soo organised and the list the night before. I thnk you should be running something Hannah! A brigade or something :-) Id like to inlist, can we have a uniform with shiny brass buttons!

XX

Hi Caroline I know what you mean as I find it very hard to get motivated myself. That is a good post because it made me think about how I motivate myself and I realise I do it by guilt or because it is less trouble to do something than face the consequences if I don't do it if you see what I mean.

My sister goes out every day for around 6 hours so I take the dog out after about 3 hours as left too long she gets distressed and needs her walk. I would feel too guilty. It's good for me because it forces me out everyday even when I would rather stay indoors and gives me a reason to go out. So it's things I have to do.

I go to my darts twice a week even if I don't feel like it coz it is easier than making excuses and again I would feel guilt in case they were short of players.

So I deal with it by making sure I have a structure in place by having to do various things. I don't know if this helps you - I hope so.

I also find it useful to deliberately make habits - this is very hard at first but after a few times I tend to do something without even thinking about it.

When my parents were alive they would often come round to me once a week for coffee and this would make me clean my flat. Now they are both gone I have no incentive anymore so am struggling with that one. Bev xx

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek in reply to

Hi Bev

I agree with having structure. Luna wakes me up too. Having someone

Visit means I get tidying and run around with Hoover. I think it's

Hard to motivate yourself when you live alone.

Hannah. Xx

CarolineLondon profile image
CarolineLondon

Yep, I dont have people round which is why I need to tidy. I liked your comment about things becoming habit, after my comment about the kitchen, I just tidy as I go because I know if I dont it could get out of hand, so that is working for me.

I havent got the routine thing down pat and instead of the dog I have the bank calling me out....so Im just about to get sorted and go out. This is really helping me ladies thanks and hope its helping you. Abit like our what did you get done today list. I might post another of those if everyone doesnt mind...another day.

Right lunch and then a walk or drive to the bank! Part of what puts me off at the moment is the cold, its much warmer than last year I think but still a bit chilly at the moment.

Thanks again Hannah and Bev I really appreciate you sharing with me XX

Stilltrying_ profile image
Stilltrying_

Caroline, hope it went well today and you managed to get done what you needed.

The phrase "just do it" has worked for me sometimes (but not others). Sometimes if I just start doing something without thinking about doing it I can get into it, but it does depend on my mood.

Hugs to you Caroline.

Gemma X

CarolineLondon profile image
CarolineLondon in reply to Stilltrying_

Yep thats great advice as ever Gemma thank you. I would like to say it was just do it that got me out, but no I had to listen to some dance music first..lol.

X

tazmania profile image
tazmania

The night before, I visualise myself getting baby in carseat, getting in my car, getting out at other end (e.g. PC world) xxx

CarolineLondon profile image
CarolineLondon in reply to tazmania

You take your baby to PC World, Ive heard of starting them young, but heavens how old is this car seated technical wizard! :-) XX

CarolineLondon profile image
CarolineLondon

AN UPDATE:-

I did get out of the house only 2 hours after I said I would.

What did it? Well I think having lunch helped, I listened to music, then I realised that even the bank closes and I had to get a jolly on!

However....on the way to the bank....

TWILIGHT ZONE ALERT.....!!!!

I have a confession, it seems I picked up a date!!?

What I hear you say, well I was minding my own business, no worse I was scruffy and minding my own business, when this nice young chap started chatting to me! Never one to miss out on a good chat, I rambled on in my usual way (ie I was NOT chatting up). As we neared the end of the road he suggest we meet again!? (and or what was I doing at that very moment!!?). Is it pertinent to say at this point this man was drop dead gorgeous, which makes it even more weird. Perfect teeth, perfect hair, perfect skin, fit...Im becoming more alarmed as I type this!

So just to clarify, me, scruffy, rambling and over weight.

Anyway I explained I was aweee to the Bank and PC World and so had no time now but was open to his suggestion of coffee at a later date, just to be polite you understand. I mean I didn't want to seem rude or unkind to the model from FHM Magazine...lol.

Then I came home and felt reeeeallly weird because yesterday I had been lucky enough to go to the New Years Parade with my sometime Ex Boyfriend. I felt as if I had cheated, I hadnt done anything. I mean the other chap may not even call, so there we are. So I have buried myself in work and ignore any ideas of ensuing uncomfortabilinous (thats a word right).

Now whats for tea? "You'll have had your tea Hamish"..lol.

I wonder are sporans really windy or freeing?

ANYWAY LOVE YOU ALL!

LibbyR profile image
LibbyR

Hi Caroline

That's very funny - a date out of the blue, congratulations and I hope you will keep us posted, ideally with photos too. I liked your comment about getting out of the house 2 hours after you'd planned to. It used to take me 2 hours to make a decision to go out. And then I still didn't do it. Hopeless.

I decided some time ago that motivation and willpower are not for depressed people (certainly not for me anyway). As others have said, a structure (for me: made up of commitments to others), and habits is a good way round motivation problems. For example, I feel better if I get up early, but hate getting out of bed in the morning. I have deliberately developed a habit of getting up to feed my dog at about 6.30am (when she jumps on my head wanting her breakfast) and not allowing myself back to bed. Difficult for a week or three but now it's automatic, no motivation or willpower required.

Was your mystery man wearing a kilt then?

best wishes

Libby

CarolineLondon profile image
CarolineLondon

Brilliant Libby..bloody Brilliant. I forgot I heard a lecture saying just what you are saying about motivation.

No heaven knows how I got onto kilts, my brains like a wild animal never runs in a straight line...lol. He didnt even look Scottish. He's already sent a couple of text, all a bit much for me at the moment, flattered though I am.

More important than all that I need to get the place tidy, I have offered to cook lunch Sunday :-)

Right now you can barely see the floor, someone filed most of my stuff on it ( I maintain it was the imps and fairies...lol).

6.30 AM! You should get a badge for that :-)

Back as school soon so I like you will have to make NEW habits.

Thanks for the encoragement.

Xx

Photogeek profile image
Photogeek in reply to CarolineLondon

Caroline

I really enjoyed your story about getting chatted up. OMG as kids

Woukd say now. I can't remember the last time I was chatted up,

What's your secret, enjoy it and take every opportunity you get.

Now advice. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. Caroline is young free and single.

Keep us posted ,

Luv

Hannah x

CarolineLondon profile image
CarolineLondon in reply to Photogeek

Ha Ha he's clearly bonkers bless him.

Well he really tried to get me to go out and play yesterday but I had too much to do. I also have lots to do today and have achieved nothing! grrr.

I don't have a secret, mostly Im just nosey and you know how I like to chat and ask stoppid questions :-). So we ended up chatting as we walked along. We have similar interests and really I had no idea he was interested in me...ha ha. So maybe that's it, maybe its about not looking for one thing and finding another, either way this is all a bit soon for me. So Im keeping a low profile.

I'd loooved to have been a spy 006 :-) but Id give myself away in a minute Hannah with my rambling mouth! I know, I know you think master of disguise that I am, Velma from ScoobyDoo I would succeed but you forget I keep losing "my glasses my glasses" without which I cant see... dead give away.

So young Hannah are you saying you would like a young man because I can go to shop and fetch one :-) Simple it seems...lol.

Can I just share something with you because it makes me smile, years ago I used to have loooooong black curly hair a bit like Diana Ross but more wavy than curly. Anyway it was in the summer and in those days I had lots of friends and we arranged to meet on the village green. I had gone off to Tesco to get a bottle of wine and as I entered the security guard stopped me and said how beautiful my hair was. I looked at him indignantly and thanked him, whilst in my head I was screaming "what do you mean you stupid man cant you seeee Im FAT!".....lol.

Ah crazy daze.

Right well its raining out and I have to go to a friends house to collect something so on with the wellies and waterproofs...wish me luck....by yesterdays example it should only take me 2 HOURS to get out of the house...tsk.

LOOOOOVEEEE YOU HANNAH! XXX

Catmag profile image
Catmag

Caroline,

Hilarious as usual. I do enjoy the exchanges you have with Hannah, Bev etc. you all seem to know each other quite well. I am still a relative newbie.

Motivation, or lack there of, is a real problem for me. I know it is for everyone suffering from depression, I have the added difficulty of chronic pain. I have been on 1 or more pain killers everyday for 14 years now. It seems when I'm mentally motivated by body is not and vice versa.

I do find helping others helps me, but even then I can't always meet those commitments.

I enjoy your posts and the banter you have with the others, probably 'cos we all seem to have a similar sense of humour. I have been in bed now since Tuesday, even slept through New Year's day!

To end on a more informative note: it's the kilt that would be windy and freeing, as the sporran is what keeps the kilt from blowing around! Also, I have unfortunately seen up a kilt, not as much fun as you might think!

Keep us posted on your FHM model.

Cheers, Catherine.

CarolineLondon profile image
CarolineLondon in reply to Catmag

Catherine you made me laugh out loud!

Especially the sporran and sleeping through New Years...hooorah way to go. I was merely ignoring it however you perfected the art of not engaging at all!

The others keep me in line, well sometimes, when I go off on a ramble they call in the rambling police who come and get me with a big net and some custard creams on a stick it isn't a pretty sight. You are of course an integral part of the gang Miss Catmandoo and I shall I dare say site you from here on in!

So pain that's crappy, Hannah knows all about physical pain, not my area of expertise if I have one. What I've found with pain and I don't know if all women do this. Here I go....I have a theory and Id really like to know your thoughts Catherine and anyone else if they'd like to join in.

I think...wait for it wait for it...:-)

That I and 'we' as women can compartmentalise pain as in put it in a different room in our brains so we can get on with other stuff.

I think we can do this because of child birth and being the barers of children, so I think when God made us from Adams rib (oh come on rib really?!). He realised if the race were to survive we women must survive and endure great phsycial (if we could spell it) pain. Now heres the doozie my sister can endure mental pain (as in a migraine and still do stuff) I cant. Brain pain has me wiped out completely and I lose the whole day.

You suffer from sustained regular pain and I don't know how that works, most I've been in serious pain was a few weeks and then they gave me elephant pain killers so that doesn't count.

Tell me something Catherine if you don't mind, is there an answer to your pain, your injury can it be fixed in time (no need to do details if you'd rather not).

Right now its 12pm and I have done exactly nothing! I have to go out so if my reply is delayed please excuse me.

Thanks for the loooovely comments you ole Catmandoo you :-)

BIG KISS XX

Catmag profile image
Catmag

Hi Caroline,

Well you've hopefully been out and reading this on your return.

Unfortunately there are no solutions to my injuries, I have 3 compressed vertebrae in the lumbar spine (often get sciatica with it). I have soft tissue damage in my head (sometimes I think that's all that's in there) LOL! The soft tissue damage has caused neuralgia, which is another daily element of pain & often leads to intense migraines. Also I have neck & shoulder pain and my right knee cap is out of place. I've been told surgery is not an option for any of this & I need to learn to live with it.

I am on so many meds, I rattle when I walk, and my knee clicks when I move. I need a crutch to get around. But there are a lot more people worse off than me. My sister has been deaf since she was 2, & now she's registered blind. But, I can still drive and she has the most beautiful natured guide dog. So it's not all bad.

My pain influences my mood and mood influences my pain. It sometimes feels like a no- win scenario. But I also have good days, I just started doing volunteer work once a week to try to motivate me to get out.

As for tidying up! I tidy the kitchen when there are no cereal bowls left! Though I have been known to use a souffle dish once in a while - for cereal of course! And today is not too bad a day.

Keep laughing and having fun. Cheers, Catherine.

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