Still trying to be brave 2014

My heart ache still continues, I have left my abusive marriage, lived in a refuge, lost my two elder sons who chose to live with their dad and I respect their choices even if their wrong. I have kept cool and composed through three custody battles with my ex. I got custody of my youngest son of 5. My ex has accused me of many things. But recently he stuped really low even by his standards. Although I am not entirely surprised, it still hurts and every time I think my heart can't break anymore it starts to crumble.

5 Replies

  • You sound amazing, so brave and strong to have got as far as you are now.

    Keep being positive, do not let your ex wear you down, he sounds as though he was a control freak and a bully plus an abuser you are well rid. I hope and pray you have the strength to move on and continue to defeat this ogre of a man.

    Once things settle down you may be able to find work and a new life elsewhere with your son? There is no doubt in my mind you are going to need a lot of support, I hope that you have someone dependable to turn to.

    My thoughts are with you love and hugs xx

  • Hi there.

    This is horrible for you to go through. It's not fair that your older sons chose to live with their dad. At least you have custody of your little boy and you need to stay strong for him. You do sound very strong and I admire that. You've been through a lot and nobody can blame you for feeling broken-hearted. If I'm not wrong, it sounds like the hardest part for you is that your boys decided to live with the father. It could be down to a male bond thing though... Children perceive these things differently. Although your husband was abusive to you the boys may see it that the family broke apart because you decided on the divorce. Perhaps they are not old enough to fully understand? As they grow up they may see how hard it was for you and will eventually respect you decision to leave him.

    Stay strong for your little boy. The courts will end eventually and you will get some peace.

    Much love to you xx

  • I can,t imagine the pain and hurt u r feeling .it makes me feel actually disgusted with myself I have two children grown up I,ve had my fare share of trauma in my life the past 18month but instead of being a decent person as ur self I,ve abused my husband and two children with drinking binges I,m finding it very hard to cope with the guilt for the way I,ve coped with things .you hold your head and continue with the way you seem to be handling things I should take a leaf from ur book.

  • Toma people find their own ways to cope and drink is one of the things people use. Don't be too hard on yourself as I am sure you have done your best. And best is best even if it's c...p isn't it?

    Kermitandpiggy I can't imagine how you are feeling and your heart must be broken. I totally agree with wanttochange and you never know what's going to happen in the future. Your ex sounds a horrible thing (not going to call him a man coz he is not) and you know you did the right thing in leaving him.

    Many abusers were themselves abused so you and your son are well out of it. Take your time to grieve my love then pick yourself up and carry on. You deserve so much to find happiness one day and you will you know. Just don't let your disgusting ex ruin your life any more. I believe in karma and it will get him one day. Take care. Bev x

  • Hi all my journey still continues and I become worse, I am losing friends, family and myself I have hurt myself almost died now I am self harming I feel lost I think I am defective a person born with missing parts that makes you a normal human beign, I obsess about hurting my self and maybe ending it all although I don't want to die how do I kill this demon riding my back, there are many things that i'm told that are good around me and things i have achieved, but still I feel alone. I hate myself I hate that my depression is so dominant over me and makes me wallow and be selfish in how people that love me? why do they love me I am a burden, strain and whatching their confusion and sympathy of my depression only makes me feel worse. I am losing hope and will.


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