Please read and help me with what to do please!

I have just taken your depression test and I got 11 on it which suggested that I have moderate depression, I’m 18 and in college, in primary school from the age of around 7 (Year 2) to High School (age 16) I've gotten bullied on and off, whether it be name calling, cyber bullying like making accounts and spreading things around about me that isn't true, or going to the next level of making a fake guy account on a social networking site to try and trick me to meet up with him, and then when I went their he wouldn't be their but they would have it all on camera of how desperate or vulnerable I am (I didn't go through with it as I found out it was my so called friends), I would be devastated if my parents ever found out of what some of the things they used to make up and also Physical bullying as I have had a few experience of that (black eyes, nearly broken nose, bruised legs and arms). I have gained a lot of weight over the past 5 years because I would comfort eat in my bedroom without anyone knowing and still so sometimes when I’m feeling really down.

I have only ever told my sister how I felt and still feel about getting bullied and how low self-esteem I have and that I feel said more than happy, also I feel like people are judging me and my family aren't that proud of me because they seem to tell their friends about me just seems to be about my 2 other sisters and brother. I am finding it very hard to concentrate with my work and when I do something good like get a B in my work which to me is really good as I would usually get a lower grade my parent will be like oh right good but when its my sisters or brother they seem really interested and seem over the moon about it.

None of them no how bad it actually got and how bad it has affected me to this day, I wish they knew so they could of helped me all these years, I’m just crying all the time and I am really unhappy, I have had suicidal thought but not any further than that because I’m thinking there has to be something good for me or someone good for me.

I could go on and on about all the stories and other things that have gone on but I would be here for hours, please would you be able to give me some advise or give me people to contact for help and things, I also want to so if its true if I have any kind of depression or anxiety as my sister said it could be possible put I want it to be legit say with a doctor.


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3 Replies

  • Hey mate i was bullied a lot in my youth & no matter what i was doing at the time, i was always waiting for the next person to bully me so it seemed like i could never relax or be happy..I never knew why people bullied people when i was getting bullied myself, & i had to get out of being bullied by fighting back which isn't the answer..The thing i know now which i believe would have helped me back then, was actually knowing or rather learning "why" people bully other people....I can honestly say for a fact that who ever is bullying you or anyone who has bullied you in the past, are all people that are unhappy with their own personal private lives or they have low self esteem..People only bully other people because they need an ego boost or are experiencing unwanted emotional problems..& in a lot of cases are being bullied themselves, & so they lash out at the next or nearest available person..So what I'm trying to say is that it will be very helpful for you try to learn how to not take it personally when someone bullies you, because it's not you that has the problem it's the bully who has an emotional problem themselves..So when the next mean person bullies you try to see them as a weak person, that has either problems at home or very low self esteem..If there are people there that laugh at you when your being bullied try to see them, also as weak people that only side with the bully because they don't want to get bullied themselves..Try to find a new hobby or something to get passionate about if you can, & try to fill your days with fun stuff when you can..Go for a nice long walk every day, & contemplate what you'd love to do with your life..What would you leap out of bed for on a cold Monday morning to do for a living, & what would you love to do tomorrow?..So never ever wonder why you get bullied & never ask yourself what's wrong with you, because there will be nothing wrong with you it's always the bully who has/is the problem..

  • I agree, the bullies are the ones who can only feel good about themselves by picking on other people, it gives them a sense of power that they otherwise lack. Once my daughter realised that she was not bullied again because she wouldn't react with any pain and would just feel sorry for them - she had the power.

  • hi rgl, I think dave has written a lot of good thoughts. I am sorry to read of what you have and are going through.

    would you consider talking to someone on a helpline?

    I have added some helplines below and you can call one or all of them.

    please talk to your gp, maybe print off your post to show him.

    ask for counselling, it will help to talk to a counsellor.

    also you can contact student services for counselling and support at college.

    do you think you could stay away from facebook and the like even just for a short time?

    these people do not really know the real you and what they say is complete and utter rubbish. It is harsh and unfair, but you and your family, true friends, and I, do not think that way.

    one way to look at it is to think - if they said you were purple with red spots, would it be true? neither are their other words.

    please keep in touch with us on this great site. we care and we understand. we are all on at different times or days. so, if you don't get a reply straightaway, please know that you will be read and someone will reply. some people don't feel they want to or can reply, but your post and replies may help them too.

    you are no longer alone and I applaud you for coming on and sharing. thankyou.



    useful helplines:-

    please consider calling some of them.


    0300 123 3393


    0845 767 8000

    SANEline is a national out-of-hours telephone helpline offering emotional support and information for people affected by mental health problems.

    Reply to this

    Samaritans - 08457 909090


    Helpline: 0800 018 2138

    Students Against Depression

    Developed in consultation with students who have been affected by depression, low mood or suicidal thoughts. Many of their stories and suggestions are included on the site.

    Get Connected

    Freephone: 0808 808 4994 (1pm - 11pm)

    Confidential National helpline for young people under 25 helps them work out what they need most. Can put them in touch with places that can help - whatever the issue.

    Campaign Against Living Miserably

    Helpline: 0800 58 58 58


    Papyrus HOPElineUK - 0800 068 41 41

    Support for those dealing with suicide, depression or emotional distress - particularly teenagers and young adults.