My name is ed I've meet a girl I really like, it started of we'll but as soon as I told her I liked her it has come between our friendship

She is at college and her exams are coming up soon. We hve talked about us dating but she does not like the distance and the fact that it will hve consequences on our friendship I had a bad relationship last year and I'm still affected by that. I worry when I don't hear from her it's my fault and I have done something wrong I get worked up and she hates that I keep bringing up us dating and we hve arqued all the time since I went through depression last year and I tried to end my life after my ex ended it I'm scared that I'm living in the past and I don't want to hurt this new girl. I hve felt like ending it again as I see that I will never be hppy again the new girl does not fell the same way I do about her as she has a bad history of bfs what do I do I don't what will happen if she Just wants to be friends I fell she's holding on being hppy as she's been hurt before I have wanted to end it as I can't come with losing what we hve as friends please help me

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3 Replies

  • Ed it sounds like you are going much too fast with this girl and I think you need to slow it right down and just stay friends for the time being. Also don't forget she has exams coming up soon and she doesn't need the extra pressure of your feelings for her. Carry on the way you are and you will drive her away. You are being much too intense much too quickly. Keep in touch with her but in a friends way and both decide you will see what happens in the future. It might be you are not right for each other. The other time honoured way is to get yourself dating elsewhere and make sure she knows about it! Let us know how you get on please.

    Are you feeling depressed right now? Have you been to the doctors? Just a thought. x

  • I have felt depressed as my ex treated me pretty bad and it's stuck in my mind that if I don't get a reply it's my fault if she comes accross upset I expect her to bite my head off I like her a lot but I see me driving her away I just want to be there for her but she sees if we date it will hve consequences

  • hi Ed, do you think, at least for now, you could just stay friends? sometimes it's nice to have a close friend of the opposite gender. ( I've got some long-time great male friends). It can be very healing after a broken relationship and does not have the stress, pressure, of "being involved" and is very much give and take. You can spend time palling around when it suits you both, but, equally be comfortable when apart, knowing your friendship can easily pick up again.

    I hope you will be happy, you sound like a nice caring person whom she'd like to stay friends with.

    keep in touch.


    hamble :)