What to do next

[mimi70]

Last year it became apparent that i had some sort of mental health issue, i thought it was my personality as have behaved in similar ways on and off for years just not this intensly. i was either full of energy, getting no sleep with no appitie and a hugely increased sex drive, or i would be curled up in a ball desperatly unhappy, crying, etc etc, i was prescribed mirtazipine, i began hallucinating, slept even less, took unecessary risks i didnt identify, had ideas that to me were reasonable but not to others, i cinstantly felt like there was someone behind me, had horrendous panic attacks, when my good mood changed to a not good mood i felt like i had been hit by a bus, the change was so sudden. i had to go to cmht and was taken off these and put on venlafaxine, symptoms were the same just not so severe, back to cmht and put on sertraline, again the symptoms ate the same just not so intense but they do make me feel a bit speedy, i still see things that arent there, referred back to cmht i was tild i can come of sertraline and was given some leaflet on a online cbt vourse. what i need is something to stabilise my mood swings, i can cope with the good days, others say i am unpredictable, erratic and impulsive, sometimes my behaviour can be such that i have to be reigned in a bit by friends. i am horrendous with money to the point that my friend helps me to manage my finances by holding my cards and i have to ask for miney as i do tend to go off on spending sprees. the bad days ate the toughest as i dont trust myself. I read too much into things and believe things to be what they ate not. i can feel like this on good days too tho. confused? yep thats how i feel most days too, that and distracted, disorientated and frustrated as i keep being told that seeing things that arent there is perfectly fine and totally normal. i have given up on the cmht where i live, this week i am going to speak with a friend who is an asw, i am looking for patterns, triggers, indicators of changes in moods but cant find any, i have had tests for thyroid function and other stuff all of which was clear. any suggestions on what to do next as this is impacting on every aspect of my life.

[Hidden]

Hi

You are experiencing a lot of the symptoms of manic depression - if you have not already done so then do ask to be referred to a psychiatrist as there are medications that can control manic depression fairly well and make the symptoms of both mania and depression much less severe.

You might also think about your early life and how you felt about yourself in relation to others at that point as sometimes understanding the depression and facing it can ease the symptoms of mania though psychiatrists will prefer the medical model as meds can make your symptoms easier to manage.

Suexx

[Stilltrying_]

Yes I agree with Sue, it sounds like you are experiencing the symptoms of what they now tend to call Bipolar. It is manic depression. You need to get some help with managing your moods and there are various methods of doing this; some people like to be drug free and use other methods and some prefer to take meds or both. There will be a wealth of information online; there are several types, some more "severe" than others, the milder type being much easier to manage. People like Stephen Fry have this type. I know many people who are bipolar and they lead successful and creative lives First port of call like Sue says is the pyschiatrist or mental health team. X

[mimii]

Hi mimi great name

Agree does sound like bi polar, back in the ,80's there was a great band Adam and The Ants, have read Adams autobiography called Stand and Deliver, he has bi polar but didn't know at the time why he had periods of depression then bursts of extreme energy and creativity xx

[mimi70]

Ok third time lucky of tryna reply. First of all thanks for your input, i have had enough of mental health services and that infuriating 'hmmmm' noise they make when 'listening' to you, the dr i saw the other day needs a course in active listening ad she was infuriating. Then there is the dr that keeps suggesting i read books in depression when i cant concentrate on anything long enough to absorbs paragrapgh never mind a book, maybe yr right however i am not sure things are that extreme for a bi polar diagnosis, but my views on what's extreme behaviour/ mood swings is often different to other peoples.often its lots of fun, i will get everyone up at stupid o clock to go walk up a mountain to watch a sunrise, i will go sledding in the hills on survival bags, go paddling in waterfalls even though its freezing, bounce on the trampoline even though its lashing down with rain, dance on the roof of my car, pull out all the contents of the kitchen including food to make a toy car course with my friends little boy, take the kids driving on the beach, generally misbehave and think its funny. i cant keep up with my own head most of the time and can be very impulsive, its funny tho because sometimes when i walk into a room it feels like everyone is going in slow motion....today is a good day, most stuff is funny, but if i stop long enough to think its frustrating cos i know that pretty soon that bus will come along and smack into me, ill hit the floor feeling like i want the world to end and spend most days trying not to cry and believing things that aren't real, ah well its never boring i spose,

mimi i remember adam, i loved him and his ants, they were my favs as a kid and yes it is a great name

[mimi70]

Well that went well it cut off the bottom of my reply which said thanks for your replies it helps, a first for me to open up a bit, maybe itll be a way to accept and deal with what's going on, take care

[Photogeek in reply to mimi70]

Hi Mimi definitely sounds like BIPolar which can have disastrous

Effects on personal life and financial life. I wonder are you on any

Medication, sounds like you need to be stabilised with Meds for this. I know.a few people with this and they are on Meds but very well now.

There are plenty of articles about it on internet?, . There is too

A lot you can do for yourself to spot what your triggers are. Get adequate

Sleep but really I would put yourself in the hand of a good GP and tKe

Their advice. Would you think of joking a support group for this?

Talk again.

Hannah

[mimi70 in reply to Photogeek]

I don't know if that would be a good idea Hannah, if anyone needed advice i would probably give them the wrong advice, my ideas can sometimes be a little off the wall and i dont see it.

as for meds no not anymore decided to stop taking them last weekend cos i am not sure what's me anymore, besides it seems like the down bits are more frequent when i take them, well at least that's what i think at the moment, itll probably change in a day or a week or a month or whenever, the only thing that seems to help is diazepam, it brings me down a bit to a level i can function at when my head goes too fast and calms me down when i get upset, i was thinking of self hypnosis and see if that helps but if I do it in the wrong frame of mind who knows what ill end up doing, lol, also i have seen this natural drug on the internet that claims to help so gonna look into that

[mimi70 in reply to Photogeek]

Hi Hannah perhaps i might join a support group, i was wondering if you had one in mind, hope your well x

[Photogeek in reply to mimi70]

Mimi where abouts do you live and I will check some out for you. ? Xx

[Stilltrying_]

It's great you are opening up a bit on here Mimi. Yes there is a fine line isn't there between what is just excitable fun and what is going a little beyond that? There is variation in all of us but I guess it's when it gets you into dangerous overspending or never sleeping and that sort of thing.Sometimes with this type of illness it is OTHER PEOPLE who realise that you are ill before you do or when you think you are well, and you may need to give your trust over to them which must be a very hard thing to do.

I can understand you saying you just want to get yourself back again by coming off the meds, but this could trigger another episode. The majority opinion is that meds are essential in certain phases of the illness. However I guess it will depend on the severity and type you have as with the milder form called Cyclothymia appropriate diet exercise stress reduction and"journaling" to spot mood swings just before you "tip" and taking appropriate action can be sufficient for some people.

You really need to consult a mental health specialist to get an accurate diagnosis.

Take care, Gemma X

[JeSuisBo]

You are obviously bipolar and need to accept taking the medication to treat it. Wishing you well. . .

[mimi70]

I have gone for 3 assessments, each time i have been told i am fine and my behaviour is normal, i'd probably believe it if it wasn't for the fact that i see things that although there aren't the same as someone else would see. They have said i don't have to take anti depressants if i don't want to and i don't cos they don't help, i thought they made me feel a bit speedy but since stopping them my ability to sleep has gone from hard work to no chance, i have read many posts on about meds and their effects eg mirtazipine, it knocks most people out, it very nearly pushed me over the edge, sleep was not an option. As said before i am lucky to have the support i do, but maybe there is another way to deal with this other than dodgy drugs that make me feel like i have taken a stimulant more than anything else, maybe there is another explanation for what's going on? I worry that such a diagnosis will result in me losing my license and as a result my job!

[Stilltrying_ in reply to mimi70]

Do you mean your driving licence, or another kind of licence?You do have to declare it to the DVLA but that does not mean you would be banned I think as I know several people who are bipolar who drive and many teachers, social workers, that sort of thing, so you wouldn't lose your job if it was that kind of job but there may be some jobs I guess where it would make a difference; you would have to look it up.

There is stuff online you can look up about treating it in ways which

are drug free and I would definately not discount this; for example "mindfulness" and cognitive behaviour therapy can help. Often it will be a combination of meds and these sorts of therapies. Anti-depressants used alone will make your condition worse and like you say you feel like you are taking a stimulant. This is why you need to explain all this as there are other drugs like olanzapine and others that would probably work better for you. It is a mood stabiliser. They may need to experiment with different drugs and different doses for a while to get it right. A good idea to take someone who knows you well so they can take notes of what has been said, as sometimes it is hard to take it all in. Gemmalouise

[Lizzyb1]

Hi Mimi70, you describe the symptoms of bipolar so well, however I think the catch is that it's other people who notice these symptoms and not the sufferer. Have you tried taking someone who knows you well to one of your appointments? Antidepressants alone only make symptoms worse so I wouldn't recommend those. Good luck with your recovery