losing all

I thought all was going to be good. I got into arrears on my mortgage but a friend stepped in and offered to buy it via a similar deal as the companies that buy houses for cash but giving me a slightly better deal. When I went into arrears I contacted the society and we agreed a monthly plan which would reduce the arrears slowly and pay the mortgage. I have moved out into a rented place so my friend can finish my house off.

the thing is I get my mail delayed due to redirection and now I get a letter saying the society want to repossess the house because i've defaulted.

I have not defaulted as I've actually through my friend being paying more than the agreed figure.

what the society have done is changed the monthly payment date by moving it forward one day, i.e from the 28th to the 27th there by making my payments late and incurring penalties . so now they win.

also today because of someone telling the DLA department that Im healthy they want me to go for a medical assessment. so it looks like I will lose my car as 90% of people seem to lose,

I cannot walk far, im breathless due to COPD and have peripheral neuropathy, causing muscle wasting, also i suffer from bad depression and take daily medication plus im just coming off a long steroid treatment, SADLY I SEE NO FUTURE AT ALL

39 Replies

  • Don't assume you will lose your car. It sounds to me from all the symptoms you have described that you need that mobility component and how could you be described as healthy with all the conditions you have got?

  • Hi,

    I think the important thing is that you communicate with your mortgage company. Technically you were probably not allowed to let your friend live in the property while you were not living there but if you explain to the mortgage company that will be your best option. Even if they repossess the property it does not necessarily mean you will low your car, it depends upon your circumstances. So do talk to them!


  • Thank you, morning and sunshine but a sad heart .

    I will be talking to them all.

    Secondhandrose is a sad name, how about 'lovely person' instead

  • Aah, how lovely to say that, but secondhandrose always makes me smile as it was what I was called because I am always buying secondhand clothes!

  • Nice. I've contacted the building society and after an agonising night they eventually told me it was their error .

    Not very nice was it.

    As for secondhand clothes you should be a man in most charity shops the men's section is always tiny.

    Guess that's why men are scruffy. Heehee.

    If your ever in Swaldale call for a brew.


  • Hi David,

    I'm not ever in Swaldale and I'm not sure what my husband would make of your offer - I'd have to ask him to come too...!

    Seriously though, I buy my clothes secondhand on e-bay because I can never find things I like in shops, they all seem made for girls who look like little dolls and are often of such rubbishy material.

    It's interesting your talking about men being scruffy - my husband drops food down a new cashmere jumper and doesn't even notice though WHY he puts it on to sit around the house in I don't know. Men! Oh well I guess we wouldn't manage without you all.

    I'm glad things sorted with the building society.


  • Oh , sorry it was just friendly invite to call in for a brew no a chat up line , heehee . though I can say that I do not dribble my food down my sweater (yet).

    david x

  • do not despair!

    please contact the mortgage people. remind them and maybe send proof of the payments being regularly made and inform them that it was an oversight whilst repairs were being carried out at your home. Maybe your friend could write and offer to be a guarrantor.

    as for dla - ask your gp, consultant(s), and other health professionals, for letters of support (make several copies) and send a copy in to the address on the letter.



  • Thanks for the support, I still feel helpless against these giants but will do as suggested.

    It all still seems so futile as the big guy is believed first.

    Thank you though

  • Well I guess almost 24 hours later and I'm here again.

    I'm here to say thank you to the lovely people who replied and thank you especially firstclassrose .

    I've accepted I might lose my mobility allowance but not without a fight.

    As for my building society, I emailed them then rang this morning. The lady who answered didn't know the case but started to ask, the letter threatening repossession over alleged increase in arrears was an error on their part. She said 'sorry' .

    Sorry, I almost took my life because I thought I was going to lose my house.

    Sorry isn't much.

    So thank you all who replied.

    Thanks Suex

  • Wow! I'm not firstclassrose (Love it!) as she's out for the evening ( "Jazzing it up" ! (without you !) from her comments on another post ) But I am so glad things have improved for you today. I know how it feels potentially losing housing; it happened to me; it is your security, your peace and quiet and everything. So pleased for you :) Gem

  • Hi Gem

    Hey if you ever open a chip shop you could call it " still frying"

  • Brill! :)

  • Jazzing it up , without me !!! Jezebel

  • Love it! :)

  • is she still gallivanting about in town, stop out

  • Ha ha!! :) Is it sunny where you are Skinneymac? It's nice here in the Midlands.

  • no its miserable drizzle, cold too. I've lit the log burner. the name is david by the way.

    please send sun the lambs in the field outside my window look fed up.

    Still the mint sauce lorry is arriving sunday

  • I supposed we are not supposed to chat on here,

  • I'ts ok in small doses I guess. Even us depressives are entitled to a little bit of light banter from time to time :)

  • we are not Depressives, we just feel things more and react more strongly

  • :( mint sauce lorry .Poor lambs.

    Only time I had a wood burner was on a trip up to the lakes; a cosy cottage. Sorry you've got no sun David; good to see you are still upbeat though. :)

  • Good point. We are all different and I for one today am not beating myself up about being the anxious and sensitive type, so I am with you there.

  • I wasn't very religious till recovering from what you would call a breakdown brought on by panic attacks etc. then five years ago when out with a friend cause I couldn't drive alone. We turned into what was a Christian retreat. I could feel the safeness of the place and ended up being a volunteer in their gardens. \Every time it gets to rock bottom now I some how seem to get through and though Im still not a very religious person I believe its actually God keeping me going for some purpose. He must have a reason cause hes brought me back from suicide twice

  • your eyes look very bright

  • Yes I can relate to that sort of a spiritual feeling; for me I relate it to something within my own mind which is connected to a power of good and to a connectedness with all the good in other people. There does seem to be a force for good and a force for healing within all of ourselves and shared amongst us. But then some people seem unable to access that and they can frighten others and it is harder to understand with that sort of thing going on if you see what I mean? eg there have been people on here that are clearly troubled and angry but I find it hard to help because their aggression does not seem to be tuned into that in any way I can relate to but I know they still need help and we are all connected.

  • Yes there is still that brightness and that fight for good within me.

  • the rains just stopped and the suns out, thank you

  • I'm just starting cooking dinner, so perhaps chat a little later, also if you ever need cheering up just text me. if you want my number , ask

  • Hmmm... don't think a phone number will be necessary. Glad you've bucked up though .

  • oooops was just meant in a friendly way , sorry if you thought it was a chat up line, Im a single guy and always have been always will be,

  • Yes its amazing how us women can misinterpret things David

  • Well I guess the age of nice guys must gone

  • Nice people respect each others boundaries and take things as they are meant. No more, no less.

    It is so hard trying to help people like you because we help and then you take it a step further. I just don't understand at all why you have to do this. Are you guys lonely? Looking for a mate on here? Sorry for the rant but it upsets me when I am just being friendly and I feel that is being misinterpreted. Now please do not tell me I have got it wrong as you were a bit like that with Sue earlier and I took it as jesty but now I think you are looking upon this as an opportunity to take advantage of someone's kindness, and it is just not nice to be seen in this way.

    Why would I want a phone number from someone who I hardly know? We are a support site and just trying to help each other and light banter yes but you took it too far in my opinion. You have tapped into one of my issues David actually. I really wonder why I bother to be friendly when it is taken the wrong way by people like you. I will not discuss this any further as it is not relevant to depression i know and I don't want to cheese off the admin people, but I just want to let my feelings be known

  • Ok cool down both of you! I don't like having to play teacher! :p

    David, I'm sure you didn't mean anything, but this is an anonymous forum, and that is why it works. Members need to feel they are safe and protected, so we advise not to ask for or give personal details. Remember this is the internet and we have no non - verbal communication to go on. It can freak people out if you suddenly mention swapping numbers in a context where they're not expecting it.

  • Sorry, I just thought I was being friends .

    Misunderstood again

  • Sorry and I will leave

  • There's no need to leave! Just bear in mind when posting that for a lot of people, the anonymity of this site is why they feel comfortable speaking about their depression openly. That's all.

    How are you today?

  • heehee, if Rose is still out from last night we should call her RAMBLING ROSE