I Have been very depressed for a long time now, I just want to know I'm not alone!

I've been depressed for sometime now, I work 30 hrs a week in quite a demanding job, but I struggle at time to keep my head above the water, I mean to stay sane (feel like I'm going made at times as my thoughts are so negitive). On my days off I have no motivation at all. My marriage is falling apart not because of my depression, in fact I think that my failing relationship contributes to my depression. I have been on antidepressant on several occasions but I feel dopey, fluffy brained, and forgetful so I stop taking the medication. I feel so hopeless and there is no sign of things improving and this is very scary for me, the thought of this depression continuing for years. I feel like screaming, I just don't want to feel like this any longer. My husband thinks that I should plan my time better and I would achieve more as I often remain in my dressing gown all day when I am off, but I just don't care about anything any more. I know I might be waffling but my mind is so mixed up and I just want to know if others understand, so that I don't feel like I am alone, I just hate how I feel. There have been times when I think life is not worth living, but I think about my children. Does anyone understand, please reply soon, I could do with an understanding friend.

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4 Replies

  • Hi Neocat. Welcome to the site. I won't post much as I'm Really tired tonight. I

    Can really relate to how you feel and it's all very well for your husband to

    Say that you should manage your time better. Yadda Yadda.

    There are some really nice working Mums on here who will relate to your

    Situation. In fact everyone on here Male and Female are great Your not going mad and don't try and solve anything right now.

    Have you thought about talking to someone as in Relate .? Make a short list

    Of a few little things that you could change. Be good to yourself and keep

    Coming back here for support and understanding.


  • Hi neocat

    You are certainly not alone lots of people on here will relate to you and I certainly do.

    12 months ago I thought I was going mad, I couldn't cope and spent most of my days in bed. No motivation at all. I was so low.

    There is help and 12 months on I know a lot more, a lot from this site has taught me I'm not alone and with the help of my dr , therapy and soon to go on a course of mindfulness which I believe is good and helps with anxiety too.

    I would advise at this stage you seek out all the help you can. Go back to your dr and explain. Most of all try to be kind to yourself.

    Keep posting here too, the knowledge gained from reading posts and posting is invaluable.

    I too am soon off too bed, had a tiring day.

    Well done for coming on this site it's the first move to seeking some help.

    Thinking of you

    Sue xx

  • The link between relationships and depression is a cyclical process. Depression causes a break up, which makes your self esteem plummet and your sense of worth diminish. You end up in a make - do relationship which makes you even more depressed and inevitably ends up in the trash can. And so the cycle continues. I learned this the hard way.

    Post natal depression caused my first proper relationship to crumble, but instead of dealing with it, I buried it and jumped straight into another relationship. And then another. And another. Until one day, about eight years ago, it dawned on me that unless I helped myself, my children would grow up with a stream of daddies and uncles and would hate me forever! And that's why I've been single for eight years, because depression and relationships don't work!

    As for your husband giving you advice on how to organise your day - do you tell him how to organise his? I know the feeling of living for my children only too well. There have been times in my life where it's the little people sleeping in their beds in the room next door that have kept me from doing something stupid. Don't be scared that you need them to keep you from harming yourself - they don't know.

    There are lots of people on this site who understand how you're feeling right now, and I hope you stick around the site for long enough to meet them.

    Nos da xx

  • Your post made me cry - I feel so sad right now and I can't even pinpoint why, other than, I'm tired of everything! I don't want to do ANYTHING... I'm right there with you - I just hope I can break this rut. It seems to be everlasting..... I don't feel like I would do anything crazy - just seem to have lost my self worth and passion for life. I love my baby to death - my husband drives me nuts (not in a good way) I feel like I'm crippled by this... He irritates me SO MUCH that I feel like it's affecting my ability to be a good mom and a good person because I'm so short and evil all the time now. I feel so angry and I'm tired of being a negative angry irritated person! I know I only have to stop but I just want to be mad and alone! I feel guilty about it... I think i know how you feel...