Depression - any advice?

Hi everyone, this is my first post so I hope I get a reply! Basically, for the last 12 months or so I've been severely down. It all started when my mother became severely depressed and I felt like I had lost her, and still do. Growing up I lost a lot of family, my father left and I don't have many friends. I'm not one for feeling sorry for myself but lately I find myself constantly comparing myself to other people and wondering why I don't have a family like they do or friends like they do. I constantly worry about what people think of me and I've convinced myself that nobody would ever WANT to be friends with me because everyone in my life has left at some point. I cry every day and I dread the following day because I know that I'm going to wake up and just have the same horrible feeling all over again. I don't actually feel like I'm living but I feel like I'm just surviving. I actually dislike myself very much and so why would anybody else like me? I'm constantly down and moody and the only time I am not is if I have had a lot of alcohol. Lately I've found painkillers help but only for a couple of hours. I'm unsure whether to go to my doctor? Will antidepressants help? I'm sick of constantly feeling worthless. I would love some advice xx

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11 Replies

  • Hi Hannah,

    Welcome to the forum! Sorry you've been feeling so down for the past year - it's really unpleasant and that's a long time to go without really seeking any help. I hope that you're able to find some advise on here of what to do.

    I don't think anyone should have to be dealing with the feelings that you are, and because of that I'd say a visit to your doctor would be a good idea. If you're just honest with your GP then they will hopefully try to help you in the best way they can. Obviously I don't know your situation first-hand, and also everyone is different, so it's difficult to say whether antidepressants will help, but that may well be the case. Depression is understood by many to be a chemical imbalance in your brain, and the antidepressants work for most people by putting that balance right, so if your GP suggests these I would consider using them. Sometimes people are reluctant to use medication, but I think from the sound of your post you are willing to try them.

    Let us know if you need any help & I hope you find some hope soon


  • Hi Clare, thank you very much for the reply. I know it has been a really long time, I've just always put it off because I'll go a few weeks feeling extremely down and then I'll suddenly feel on top of the world? But lately it's just constant crying and feeling lower than I ever have. I am definitely going to seek medical help, surely it can't make things any worse!

    Thanks Clare,


  • Hello

    You say you have been like this for one year and you cannot shake it, All I can do is recommend that you make an appointment with your GP and He will have a chat with you and possibly give some AD medications to see how you get on for about six weeks. Generally medications may only need to be taken for a short period of time and you will need to see your GP a few times to see if you are settling down.

    We all at sometimes feel that we are lacking in confidence and feel that we are not liked, there must be

    something that makes you feel like that. The more you feel that way the worse the problem will become.

    Possibly the GP may suggest a half dozen sessions with a CPN and they will discuss your feelings and try and understand what is going on with your life.

    Some times they may suggest you join a support group who are all people with various problems who give support to each other, sometimes these centres are attached to a clinic or are a charity that works with mental health issues.

    You will find you are not alone with your thoughts and you will gain strength from talking with people who are,as you, looking for answers and support.

    All I can suggest is that you have words with the GP, I feel your condition is lack of confidence and you are suffering as you are lonely, possibly you are becoming self critical of yourself. and you need to be kinder with yourself

    Basically you need to lighten up and not be so self critical. It feels that this is effecting who you are. You need to understand we are all individuals and embrace those differences as a form of strength

    Thank goodness we are all different, life would be so boring if we were all the same. Have words with your GP as I am not a Doctor.

    Remember we are always here for a chat and support.



  • Hi Bob,

    Thank you very much for the reply and your words. It's nice to know I am not alone in feeling like this. Ive always just held my feelings in and not really told anybody about them. I admit I am extremely self critical and it's something I need help with. Hopefully my GP will be able to help me. I just don't feel right within myself and I know that I'm in here somewhere I just need to find myself again. The support groups sound like something that would help a lot as the feeling of loneliness is probably the main trigger for me. I will make an appointment with my doctor tomorrow. I've always been reluctant thinking my doctor will think I'm wasting his time, but I know for sure I need help!

    Thanks for your advice it's been a great help,


  • Welcome to the site.

    Sounds to me as though you need to see your GP and they will advise what is best for you.

    If you tell them basically what you have written down here that should help. Maybe anti depressants will help you , maybe some therapy.... they will know.

    We are all in similar situations here with anxiety, depression to varying degrees so understand exactly how you feel.

    Make that appointment as soon as and get some help.

    And come back on here, let us know how you get on.

    There is always support and good advice on here. Julie xx

  • Hi Julie, thank you very much for your reply x I will definitely bite the bullet and speak to my doctor. I think I've always just thought the doctor would think I'm wSting his time, which I know is silly.

    I need something for my mood for certain as I'm constantly up and down, and lately when I'm down I am very very down.

    Thank you for your advice, I will definitely make an appointment


  • Hi Hannah,

    Welcome to the forum!

    Sorry you've been feeling so bad lately, but glad you're going to make an appointment with the GP. Completely understand how you feel, especially about just surviving and disliking yourself. I guarantee you that people leaving has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. And I'm quite sure lots of people would want to be friends with you. At least give yourself credit for the post - very brave to come on here and open up. Especially as if you're anything like me, you thought you were making a fuss over nothing and nobody would reply, right?

    Statistically the best treatment is antidepressants supported by psychotherapy in some form - could be counselling, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, or a mix of the two. That's the most "proven" to work in treating depression. But everyone reacts differently, some people recover back to normal, and others don't lose all the symptoms but stabilise through treatment and are able to manage them and still have a good life.

    From what you say - and bear in mind I am in no way an expert, this is just my opinion - if your mum has depression then it could be that you have a hereditary susceptibility to depression. Because, as Clare says, the main medical thinking is currently that stress-induced depression is a result of stress causing chemical imbalances in the brain, some people and families can be physically more susceptible to it, so I understand. In which case medication would probably be helpful.

    Having said that, it sounds like negative and self-critical thought patterns are causing you a lot of unhappiness. It could also be that the upheavals of your younger life are having some effect as well in making you susceptible to depression. And that's more counselling and CBT's forte.

    With antidepressants, they also takes a few weeks to work, and it's also not an exact science so sometimes it can take a bit of trial and error to find the right type and dosage - but don't panic if it feels like they're not working initially.

    GPs react in different ways - mine pretty much asked me what treatment I wanted! I'd try to get both medication and psychotherapy treatment if you can.

    Sorry for the essay! Look after and be kind to yourself.


  • Hey there, and welcome to the mad house! Not here for long tonight, as I need to attempt sleeping jobs, but didn't want to read and run.

    My Mum is depressed, as well as an alcoholic and suffering with agrophobia, so I completely get where you're coming from with regards feeling as though you've lost her. Grieving for someone who is still alive is the most confusing, warped and cruel emotion you can have.

    I don't want to say much else really, but here anytime you want to chat.

    Lucy x

  • Hi Hannah welcome to the Forum , I am not sure what age you are or if you are a student

    Or working. Your Mum suffering from Depression is one reason to think you might

    Be Depressed too. I don't know enough details but I Would definitely go to

    Your GP and see what he says.

    Be guided by him and he will tell you what he thinks is suitable.With Depression

    There is no one size fits all, as we are all different.

    Accepting you don't feel right is the first step, then I think it's much easier. The only

    Thing I would say is to make sure to tell the doctor if you still feel Down later on,

    As some people think that if one Medication does not work, nothing will. Whereas

    If you get on a treatment plan to suit you , it will make a big difference.

    Good luck with the Doctor and I hope you find it helpful here.


  • Hannah, because the appt might be quite short you could help your doc by making a few notes on how you feel and for how long. Also on NHS choices there is the PHQ-9 screening test - do that before you go and print off or note the score.

    Everyone's response to meds is different, it took 3 changes to get the right drug for me.

  • Hi Hannah, welcome this forum everyone on here is really kind and friendly. I suffer from Anxiety (GAD) and Depression so I can relate to your thoughts and feelings a lot.

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