am I going mad? I'm 25 with 3 children have a partner of 9 years.

I now feel like I can't cope nothing towards the kids just my partner

I feel he judges everything I do, he has to comment on everything ask questions all the time I have to explain everything I do. I feel like I'm going mad

But I don't sleep very well I don't eat everyday maybe dinner once twice a week I was size 14 I'm now in 11-12 year jeans I get horrible belly pains lose horrible discharge have headaches panic attacks I keep seeing and hearing things and send myself into panic mode how can I stop this! I always think people are talking about me or looking at me.

I feel like I'm responsible to do everything in the house and if I don't I get moaned at how can I make more hours in the day to get it done? If I don't Hoover I get moaned at if the bed ain't made I get moaned at! If I ain't cooked dinner I get moaned at, if I need my friend to use the car to collect something for me and u I get moaned at and told I'm selfish and it's all me me me? Well it's for you aswell? But u can't see that you have to check the milage moan about petrol,

I made a new friend who I see everyday is this coz my partner is jelpus I have to be home by 5 she's not allowed here when he's here I'm not allowed there weekends! I ask him to stop talking stop saying things leave me alone for 5mins he won't he just carries on I can't take no more feel like I'm backed into a corner I then lash out he shuts up I can breath again it

Should not be like this! Yes I love him it's a multi things

How do I get out of this hole

We talk we sort it the next day we wake up and argue as soon as we r out of bed!


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5 Replies

  • Have you been to see your GP. Leaving aside the relationship issues you seem to have a number of health issues with the weight loss. the belly pains and everything else ... and yes they could all be stress but they could also be a number of other things - please do go and see your GP and get some blood tests done - just to rule anything else out.

    Good idea to try to get a double appointment and make sure you write everything down so you don't forget anything.

  • Hello BOB here

    Sadly we are dealing here with you, children and husband.

    Both you and your Husband became a team very early in life, I should imagine that your husband may feel trapped, and both of you could have thoughts that are wandering to a life that has past you by. So here you need to both discuss the situation you find your self in, sadly your children need to be considered also, so RELATE may be a good choice

    With regard to the health issues you have I would suggest you have words with the GP if you have not all ready.

    With regards to the children is it possible for you to arrange to have someone baby sit for you once a week , this would remove you both for a couple of hours from the chores of parenthood.

    When you think about it you are in a situation where many couples would not be in until their thirties, this could be what people see when out walking.

    Your husband needs to stop blaming you possibly for being in the situation He finds himself in and should be giving you support in the household. It takes two to tango.

    Now both of you need to consider the children you have had together, they are innocents in all of this and could be picking up on the feelings you are kicking about. So no matter how you both feel you need to consider these individuals. It would be good if you could also arrange family outings where the five of you could interact away from the home environment

    Good luck

    Both of you keep a hold, for the kids


  • Hi

    I agree with what Bob says about Relate but the children will be picking up on the complex feelings within your relationship with your partner so Family Therapy would be even better - you could ask your GP to refer you to the nearest psychotherapy service - that's a secondary care service so you can't refer yourselves direct. If your husband won't go to Relate you could ask for individual counselling via your GP as it does sound as if you need to understand why you are choosing to stay with a man who makes you feel so unhappy. Suex

  • Hi. I am going through the exact same thing. I'm 25 with a beautiful 1 1/2 yr old girl and 6 week old baby boy. I have also been with my husband for 9 years and married 2. I don't have any eating problems but my husband has a similar diet problem to yours as well as having panic attacks.

    He totally does the same thing to me. Constantly blaming and shaming me for shit. He even complains about it to other people in front of me! Since I just had a baby, I'm determined to breastfeed longer this time around, and I had a C-Section things, like laundry and dinner get put second. Like you he would yell at me every morning for seemingly no reason at all. He's been having panic attacks and angry outbursts for months. His buddy moved in with us to try and alleviate the financial problem but he got a girlfriend who practically moved in as well. And I mean she was there everyday and night with her toddler and he has a 4 yr old too! The fucked up thing is I am friends with them both and I like her a lot but I had to kick them out because it was just too much for me. I needed some privacy... some time to relax which I couldn't constantly playing host. We will never get back those 4 weeks with our baby that was supposed to be bonding time. On top of that there is this extreme hatred and resentment towards all the women in my immediate family that I won't even get into but there is this alienation that has happened and now they resent me now for seemingly choosing him over them... Some really bad things were said to them by him and have ruined the chance for reconciliation. I seriously considered divorcing him but I have no saving or way out. Not to mention I don't want to ruin my children's lives. We are seeing a psychologist and he seems to be trying to change things but I'm not sure I can forgive him for some truly fucked up shit that has happened. I thing I am most mad about is we really loved each other once and he really loves his kids so it shouldn't be like this... it should be great... it should be the best time of our lives.

    I wish I could give you a solution to your problem but I'm not even sure what to do about mine. We have so much in common. Please let me know if you situation got any better, it is nice to know I'm not the only one who is going through this...

  • I settled down with my partner early in life. We were engaged at 18, married at 20. We had both had tough childhoods. By 25 we had two children. All I can remember on wards is him picking on me and the children. We couldn't do any thing right. I realise now we were both way to young for any of these commitments. And yes he walked out on us for the girl of his dreams at 29. Yes life was very hard when he went,financially it was a headache. But we struggled on. Now my two children have been to university,one has a very good job, the other is seeing the world. If he had stayed I feel sure he would have stamped on either of their ambitions. I'm not sure if I know the best for you to do. But Relate is very good I know. But honestly there is always light at the end of the tunnel. Be strong and believe in yourself, lots love xx