I want help but can't get it. - Mental Health Sup...

Mental Health Support

31,319 members17,125 posts

I want help but can't get it.

macgyver profile image
18 Replies

you are the first people to see the the photo's I took of my cuttings. I'm 28 years old and have been self-harming for 13 years but have been told that the NHS will not do nothing about it, I have never been asked a single question about why, or how long, or even what caused it.

My newest doctor said to my face that she thinks I am just attention seeking (doing this just for people to see the marks, the fun of it) but for almost 12 years no one knew I even harm myself, and she gave me a sick note for getting off JSA and on to ESA but told my she did it so I would stop asking her for help. And for the first time showed her true colours when she acted afraid of me, giving me another sick note just so I would leave, I did with tears in my eyes, I went to the toilet and cut my arm right there in Albert house clinic. I was crying and nobody cared even though several people went past.

Written by
macgyver profile image
macgyver
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
18 Replies
Jeffju profile image
Jeffju

Oh my goodness. I really think you should try and see another GP or present yourself at A and E at your nearest hospital. I really do wonder about some GPs... they obviously don't get much training in mental health. You obviously need, and want, help. I really don't know what else to suggest. Sending hugs your way. {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}.

macgyver profile image
macgyver in reply to Jeffju

I am but I'm unsure about things at time

missrat profile image
missrat

It is horrifying to know that some GPs are so lacking in knowledge about self-harm. I wrote a bit about SH some time ago, and if you PM me I'll send it to you. I was unusual in not starting harming until I was 58. It is now a very rare, mild occurrence, and I find one small internet community very supportive,

I like to think of it as rather like 'drowning your sorrows in drink'. It is a coping mechanism which may work - temporarily, but then you have short-term side effects - a hangover for the first, and shame, plus the risk of infection for SH. Both can become addictive as our preferred coping mechanism, and both can have long-term effects - liver damage, or various forms of damage from self harm. In order to stop either of these we have to find a better coping mechanism to put in place, and often need counselling or other psychological help. With both, we tend to be 'in recovery' - with occasional slips, but there is life beyond self-harm.

I won't suggest the community I use - unless anyone wants a Christian group, but would also recommend LifeSigns. Do take care. Try to keep your wounds clean and try to find some other things you can do when you feel stressed. For me, it is a box of sensory things - scents, tastes, furry fabric, pictures, CDs etc. which I like, and a book of verbal humour.

Thinking of you.

Ann

Suzie40 profile image
Suzie40

Jeffju is absolutely right in what she says. See a different GP or go to the ED. Nobody has to suffer like this alone :(

macgyver profile image
macgyver in reply to Suzie40

that's just it I do suffer alone cause even through I'm now writing I still have no-one in my life. my mother is all away just saying there is nothing she can do,

Holly101 profile image
Holly101

I know how you feel MacGyver, I'm a selfharmer too, and don't get any help what so-ever.. One time I cut a bit deeper than I intended and ended up having to go and get 14 stitches, the nurse treated me as if I was wasting her time, she hardly spoke two words to me and then send me on my way.. Not even a leaflet or anything, about where to get help or support, nothing..

People have told me 'tricks', ibstead of cutting, use elastic bands, a red pen, etc.. I don't know about you, but it just doesn't work for me..

I hope you can get help MacGyver, if I find out about anything or anywhere, I'll let you know straight away!!

Good luck, Holly x

macgyver profile image
macgyver in reply to Holly101

I know what you mean when I was in hospital they only put a dressing on me because there was a trainee, (but she was nice about doing it, so that's something). but then just got sent out on the street to make my own home and that only happened cause my mom give me some money.

GrumpyGuts profile image
GrumpyGuts

God, that is so awful the way you've been treated. I really feel for you because I've had similar experiences when I was your age, I just ended up feeling like giving up. I still struggle with self harm and finding the right help now. Just remember that none of it is your fault and don't give up trying to find the right help.

I have found charities more helpful like Mind.

macgyver profile image
macgyver in reply to GrumpyGuts

Its hard to understand how its not my fault when people are always tell that I had a choice.

Like the choice of being born in the first place.

Hi

You are not attention seeking, you are just trying to find a way to cope with difficult feelings and cutting helps release some of them. I think it's really sad that people like your GP or A & E respond as if it is simplya attention seeking behaviour - it is a way of getting attention BUT attention to the feelings and experiences you are struggling with. Do you have any idea what they are? If for example you were abused then seeking help with that is likely to bring more success because - to put it harshly - no one can stop you self-harming, only YOU can do that. However you can be helped with the causes once you know what they are and ask for help with them. I think seeking help with self-harm may be making your problems worse in that it keeps you holding onto the idea that someone can help you to stop - you WILL be more likely to stop if you can begin to understand what leads you to feel so negatively about yourself that you don't take more care of yourself, particularly of your body. There may not be a lot of help around but at least if you can begin to talk about the experiences that led up to your becoming someone who harms yourself you will be asking for help with the correct problem, with the cause and not the cutting which is a symptom of the cause. You may find it helpful to write here about the feelings that lead you to start to self harm.

Suexxx

macgyver profile image
macgyver in reply to

that is my problem I don't remember much about my life. when I harm its just a build of emotions from something I can't understand. I'm not trying to get help with the harming, I'm trying to find the root of the problem, the reason why I can't remember and why I'm having trouble with just the simply things in life.

in reply to macgyver

You might find it helpful if you begin to share what you do remember. What about starting to write your life story on here, starting with your earliest memories and just writing ... I was born... etc. That may help you to gradually build up your story and the more memories that come back as you feel gradually safe the more you will remember. Suexx

Suzie40 profile image
Suzie40 in reply to

That's such a sensible idea

Gambit62 profile image
Gambit62

Just found a charity called Harmless by doing a search

harmless.org.uk/

They seem to be based in Nottingham but that doesn't mean that they only support people in that area.

GPs attitude is not very helpful. If you can find another GP that might help as well.

macgyver profile image
macgyver in reply to Gambit62

yeah I took a look sometime ago wasn't much help to me, but I may look again.

GrumpyGuts profile image
GrumpyGuts

I don't know a great deal about ESA, I'm sure there are others on here that know all the details, but from what I do know trying to get on to ESA is very difficult. It used to be so easy to get onto sickness benefit, I got on to it easily 10 years ago. Then they started to reassess people, like myself. I got kicked off it straight away and had to go on to JSA which I have been on for about 4 years now, I can't get sickness benefit back. It's tough which ever benefit you go for, but if you think you need ESA I would do your research because when it comes time for the assessment (which in my experience was very intimidating) they will find any reason not to let you on ESA.

macgyver profile image
macgyver in reply to GrumpyGuts

it not hard to get on, the hard part is staying on it after 13 weeks.

GrumpyGuts profile image
GrumpyGuts

Yeah, that's what I meant to say. It's the assessment that's the hard part.

You may also like...

My girlfriend left me for another man. And I can't get it out of my head.. Please help

my friends over her, yet I still go back to her for more hurt. I sill love her only she thinks I...

I can't get on with people at work

Hello, Even though I always try to be nice and friendly, I don't get on well with people. I don't...

Help I lost a good friend and i want her back but should i contact her and will she respond?

facebook. She told him she regretted telling him. She even told me a secret that her dad had...

I can't keep doing this!!!

so much going for me if I could just focus but I can't. For many years about 10 I've gambled and...

My girlfriend left me for another man. And I can't stop thinking about her.. Please help

have been together for 2 years. i loved her so much ,i loved her more than anyone in my life ,she's...