Feeling torn apart inside

This will probably sound odd! I am retired, aged 67, and find socialising difficult unless I'm with people with a shared interest - one of which is fancy (pet) rats. Just over a year ago I took over as acting Show Secretary. The club with which I am associated uses a very interesting computer program and I've found taking entries and much of it really interesting.

On the other side, I have to arrange judges, which is becoming almost impossible, and we have a major problem with 'internal politics' which contributes to my depression.

I officially resigned from being Show Secretary after this month, primarily because of two areas - the near-impossibility of getting judges, and the bullying, manipulation and 'politics' which go on, especially with one person. Recently, we have failed to make star shows twice - which is the great spur to entry. Some of our members regularly have understandable financial problems, while another is getting more commissions for art work which take her time.

I really don't know what to do. I'm also struggling with this hot weather and physical problems - but I hope these should improve by October.


6 Replies

  • you don't need do anything that gives you stress.

    just look after you.

    as for the heat -

    "stay cool man"


  • Hello

    Is this the same girl who was causing you problems last time? It's very difficult when things can't run smoothly because of factors beyond your control. If they all the same commitment and passion as you, I'm sure every show would be made.

    How are things in the house now? X

  • Not odd at all.

    Try visiting your GP for some help?

  • I have been under my GP for years. I'm waiting for the CMHT to send an appointment.

    I'm sure that S, who is older than me, would love to be called a girl!

    I lost another pet this morning. Constant suicidal urges.

  • I'm worried about you. How are you feeling now? X

  • I had a very bad day yesterday. I came sown to find one of my pet rats almost dead. I rushed him along to the vet's, but he was deteriorating as we watched and we decided it was best to 'let him go,' The weather also causes me problems.

    I feel very hurt that one person from whom I expected support actually thinks I should resign, but I found that she, and someone else, were bringing up things which happened before I was a member - let alone Show Sec.

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