I thought I was doing ok until today....

[Lois1959]

Then this dark cloud descended again.

I have had a reasonable week for me. I managed to clean the house from top to bottom and do some gardening. It's really the first time in over 2 weeks I felt like doing anything; just getting over the horrible virus that knocked me off my feet.

Then for some reason this afternoon in it came again like a tornado.

Feeling lonely, fat and miserable. I have put some weight on and this is adding to the depression. I have made an appointment to see the nurse at my surgery on Tuesday...I am trying to get the to the bottom of where it's come from. I have NEVER been overweight in my life...is it IBS? Do I ned HRT? Is it an underactive thyroid? Or am I just having to accept that my slim body has gone for ever and I will come away with a bloody diet sheet.

My friend texted earlier to say that her and her partner had a great holiday and I am pleased they did but then it made me feel more isolated than ever. I haven't been away on holiday for 8 years and haven't got anyone to go with....in fact I can't remember the last time I went for an evening out. It wasn't even last year.

Sorry for wingeing but where is this Adult contact? I can go for weeks without seeing anyone. Just how i feel today; sorry.

[Golfer15]

Dont worry Lois you will get bad days. Glad you were feeling better. Im feeling good now too. Keep going and dont worry about your weight. As long as you feel good. We often compare ourselves to other people and think why cant I do that too but that doesnt matter. We shouldnt do this. I dont like holidays anyway as they are too stressful. I prefer to be at home. I live on the Isle of Wight so living here is like a permanent holiday and there is no stress.

I have just spent the afternoon on the beach.

Take life one day at a time.

[Lois1959 in reply to Golfer15]

I am pleased you are "on the up".

Never been to IOW; my sister was there about a month ago...she loved it.

My Brother lives in Cornwall....must try to get there sometime; not been for years. It's just the logistics of getting there as I don't have a car at the moment (something else I miss very much) and public transport would cost a fortune!!!

I wish I'd been on the beach you lucky thing!! Mind you our nearest beach would have been cloudy as it has all this weekend in the East.

I will worry about the weight issue as it was my one constant. I always knew being born on Friday 13 would torment me and it hasn't failed to deliver...

[knowles8586]

Hi my weight gets me down, I was very athletic in my thirties and even in my forties I went swimming often,

I miss adult contact I live alone, my son stays twice a week, I find the weekends the hardest. The weather has been good here and people were out in their gardens I felt ok at first but then very lonely

I dont have a car at the moment I really missed it yesterday

[celticgirl]

hi lois1959 sorry that you are having a low period but i think you are a remarkable woman from what i see on here you are kind and thoughtful to everyone including myself if it wasn't for you replying to my blogg i don't know where i would be now probably in hospital i can sympathise with you on weight gain as it get me done also is your medication adding to your weight gain because i know mine has ..... i'm sorry i cannot offer any advise regarding this but just wanted to let you know you are not alone .... just a thought my doctor gave me no of a befriend service ...... don't know if you have same thing where you are you could maybe ask i never had the courage to call them so cannot comment on what it was like take care lois 1959 big hugs x

[Photogeek]

HI Lois, i am sorry you are feeling so alone. I live alone too, so I feel like this too sometimes,

I find getting out of the house helps me and I joined a few Meet Ups for different things, A Book Club, and so on. We are social animals and it is hard to live alone sometimes, but make sure your home is warm and bright and welcoming, so you feel it is your sanctuary.

I have 2 close friends who I see and after that its just me and my cat. I am not sure what else to say except I understand and heres a loving hug to you.

Hannah

[Lois1959]

Thank You all for your kind responses.

I am not aware of any clubs/meeting groups where I live.

I do have couple of close friends but one has a partner and the other is so busy marking exams at this time of the year..she won't come up for air until end of July so I can't even meet for coffee. I stay in touch with them but I find it's always me who initiates the contact; never the other way round.

I had some good friends at work but when I was made redundant they all stopped contacting me. I felt upset as 2 of them had marriage problems previously and they were always round the house or on the phone and I did my best to support them...now I don't hear from them! One has a new partner and the other one sorted out her marriage. I wasn't exactly an expert on all things marriage to be honest. I have been married twice and they both left me for someone else so I'm no example.

I suppose you can't expect people to think/behave as I would but it still hurts. xx

[coatpin]

You know depression isolates you,, youve done great!!! you will have down days, just accept what it is, and tomorrows another day,,, we will have less and less bad days,, and we get to appreciate the goods ones that much more. Its the natural cycle of things.

On bad days pamper yourself, go get your hair done, nails, or go do something you enjoy.

kind thoughts

[jannat]

hey lois :)Feeling depressed or unhappy these days? You’re not alone many others even suffer more at times

i think people who are unhappy seem to overlook the closest relationships of their life. focus on things whiich make you happy and satisfied.

enjoy the work you do.

if you are feeling lonely challenge yourself to take the initiative in social relationships.

and it's my experience that televisions make us feel less lonely

take care