Disassociation

[Gambit62]

I've been finding it really difficult to be around crowds of people over the past month and I think it is getting worse. It's really bad when they are talking. I just feel disassociated - or like I'm wearing a hearing aid that just makes everything louder and my brain can't cope with filtering out or paying attention to one conversation.

Seem to notice it most when I'm playing bowls - mainly when everyone is together having tea but sometimes it hits me on the green as well - just conversations on other greens that I can't filter out so I can concentrate on my own game (and trying not to fall over - balance still not good after breaking ankle in December). It gets worse as the game goes on because I'm getting more and more tired but yesterday it hit me before the match had even started.

Bit worried and rather dreading being in the office tomorrow - huge open plan with desks in long rows that makes it feel like battery hens - though it's the only way the office manager can actually fit the number of desks she has to fit in to the space available.

I'm supposed to go over to the bowls club later because there is an open day hoping to get people in whilst a fete is on at the recreation ground next door. Not looking forward to that either.

Think I have a viral infection - glands a bit swollen in the neck and I'm coughing a bit ... not to mention aches, slightly bunged up nose and feeling really, really tired.

Tired and just don' think I can cope with being around people at the moment.

[Hidden]

Hi

You're having a hard time of it at the moment. It sounds as though you are stressed out by a lack of personal space at work and are finding it difficult to feel that you can get away from all the sensory intrusion! The feeling of wearing a hearing aid which makes everything sound louder can be a response to extreme stress and I think the fact that you are unwell fits with that, your body is under stress and so you are getting the psychological effects.

You are clearly unwell! Take time out for YOU and withdraw from the world, get back your own sense of internal space away from everybody else - go off sick for a time until your body has had time to recover.

Hope you feel better after a rest.

Suexxx

[Photogeek]

Hi Gambit,

Sue has really said it all in her answer. I sometimes get like this to a lesser extreme, its usually stress and my body letting me know " enough". I crave peace and quiet, I try to achieve this in a busy city, by going for a walk in quiet park, and turning off TV and no surfing till I feel better. Please take a bit of time out now, do not let it get out of hand. Maybe listen to some nice soothing music, anything that is not too stimulating. These are all things I try and do.

All the best

Hannah

[Gambit62]

Really don't want to start avoiding places - feels bordering on phobic at the moment. Was crying about the prospect of going to the bowls club at one point this morning. Did avoid going in the club house any more than absolutely necessary. Think I probably had more problems going around the fete - had to just stop and stand still at one point. Sure I'm panicking a bit more than normal because it's second half of the month.

My boyfriend told me that I was starting to look very tired about 1400 so he decided it was time to pack up and bring me home, bless him - it's about 4 miles from home and I don't have a car at the moment so cycling everywhere.

I'm dreading going back to the doctors - which is partly because he did a report for work which included the phrase 'make a full recovery' which just makes me wonder how much they do actually refer back to notes - repeated episodes of depression over the years ... think its more like I might go into remission rather than recovery ... or may be it's just a mark of how good I am at covering things up because I just don't trust the medics and really don't want to be on meds.