New to hearing loss - Help : Hi, I am new here and... - deafPLUS

deafPLUS

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New to hearing loss - Help

meandmum profile image
7 Replies

Hi,

I am new here and to hearing loss. I have moderately severe hearing loss. I didn't want a hearing aid when first diagnosed (too upset) so struggled on. Due to mask wearing I am finding it so much more difficult to hear people. I am now back on NHS waiting list for audiology appointment.

Due to my hearing loss and mask wearing I have had to change my role in work. I am increasingly isolated as I am avoiding speaking to colleagues as I can't hear what they say and I feel so stupid either not hearing them or answering the wrong thing. I have stopped going shopping for the same reason.

I am really upset at the thought of having to wear a hearing aid. If I was speaking to anyone else I would say it is just the same as having to wear glasses, but for me it feels soo much worse. I feel humiliated at wearing one at the age of early 50's. I know many people wear them so much younger. Some family members seem to think it is hilarious that I will be wearing a hearing aid and saying things like "Oh you will be making noises going along the street, that squealing sound" Why is this so funny to people. I'm sure if I was losing my sight they wouldn't find it funny.

Sorry for the rant & I am sorry if I have offended anyone. I am just struggling. Any advice on how to cope would be very much appreciated

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meandmum
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7 Replies
Lynne-H profile image
Lynne-H

Hi meandmum

Get the hearing aids - your life will be so much better with them.

And as for the comedians - one day they could be in the same position and they won`t find it so funny then.

I`ve had mine for six years now and I love them. I`m 73 so older than you but no matter what age you are it`s quality of life that matters.

Lynne

meggiemog profile image
meggiemog

I can totally get where you are coming from. I am 52 and was told at 50 that my hearing had deteriorated to a point that they would expect in someone in their 70s. I have lost hearing so badly in one ear that it is unaidable- but the other is a moderate loss so I have now got a biCROS which I have found really helps.

What you need to know is that hearing aids are a lot smaller than they were years ago - and I was worried I wouldn't be able to comfortably wear glasses and hearing aids - but I can. Mask wearing is interesting as I have to be really careful taking them off ( they get stuck in the strings sometimes) , but if you take your time it's fine.

Being honest with you - you might have to wait a while for your hearing aids and you will have to persevere with them. It takes a few weeks for your brain to adjust, and the sound is really weird at first. If after 4 to 6 weeks you find that you are not hearing as well as you should contact them - I have had 3 hearing aids in 2 years as at first I just had my bad ear aided (twice) before I got the biCROS.

It will help with your confidence, and you shouldn't feel ashamed for your hearing loss. I always ask people to speak up now if I can't hear them. I also have subtitles on the TV now- so totally used to it now that I read them without thinking about it. Being honest at the end of a work day I love to take my aids out and watch the telly with the sound off!!!

Once you accept your deafness and get your ears aided, then you can start to live again. I take the attitude if you can't take the time to talk to me properly- then you're not worth listening to!

Let me know how you get on.

daverussell profile image
daverussell

Same diagnosis and challenges. I felt exactly like this, and often still do. I changed careers having already retrained only a few years ago. It really knocks my confidence. However I'm lucky to have a rewarding job as a student support worker. I've accepted it although it is still frustrating. I've learnt to not care about having to ask people to repeat themselves. If I have to ask three times, I will explain or remind them I am hard of hearing, and I point to my aids. In fact, I purchased smaller and discreet aids, but now I'd rather people be able to spot them. People are very understanding - otherwise I couldn't care less.

In my experience having hearing loss, Tinnitus, and Hyperacusis make the issues multifactored. As well as not being able to hear it's difficult to concentrate above internal noise and being unable to filter out surrounding noises. This is especially difficult on top of lack of sleep and having to use online communication. Not to mention, as you point out, the unfortunate situation of masks wearing.

With the right frame of mind, you'll learn to adapt. All the best.

meandmum profile image
meandmum

Thank you so much for your support- I wasn’t sure what type of replies I would get or if even any! This has helped, thank you for taking the time. You all did your good deed for the day 💕

alpacagirl profile image
alpacagirl

Hi meandmum

I really understand, I first began to find I couldn’t follow all the quiet conversation in a film when I was in my 20s and 30s and finally went to get my hearing tested in my forties. Aids aren’t great (I wear my hair over mine😅) but they do help - although unlike glasses they don’t restore perfect hearing. My family still laugh at me when I get the wrong end of the stick and I feel embarrassed - but I’ve got used to it. My hearing loss is moderate/severe too and unfortunately includes many speech sounds so I often struggle to follow conversations.

So well done for going back to audiology - bear in mind that aids take some getting used to and persevere. I am also better at telling people that my hearing is poor. We all know what you are going through - hang in there!

LIVEORDIEHEREIAM profile image
LIVEORDIEHEREIAM

meandmum,

If you have done any research at all you have seen the claim that loosing your hearing is more difficult mental health-wise than loosing your sight. It is true. It is no wonder you are in turmoil!

If you use a cell phone, you are in luck. You can download an app that will print out on the screen what is said by people near it. I use an android phone and the app I have is called Live Transcribe. I'm sure the Apple store has something similar. I use it when going through a drive-thru because I find voices on those speakers nearly impossible to understand.

I have been totally deaf on one side all of my life. No nerve attachment.

As a child, my "friends" liked to come along on my deaf side and say all sorts of rude things, knowing that I would hear nothing intelligible. Adults are mostly less cruel, but a few just can't resist.

When I hit my fifties, my "good" ear started to go. I had no choice except to get a hearing aid . I hated it at first but in the last 15 years, my hearing aid has become my best friend. I couldn't survive without it now.

Give it a try! Good luck!

ChrissieMT profile image
ChrissieMT

I am sorry that you are struggling with your hearing loss, it is not an easy thing to come to terms with. My hearing really started to deteriorate when I was just 50, now 20 or so years on it is severe to profound.I will say this, I worked as a tutor at college and found it best to always tell people, with no embarrassment, that you have a hearing problem. Most people will be kind and thoughtful. As for your relatives, that is their problem, just tell them that you don’t find that sort of ‘humour’ funny and that it is cruel, it maybe they will then feel embarrassed themselves? I also say to people that I am deaf not daft!

I do hope you get yourself sorted very soon and not feel so isolated....you are not alone.

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