Yesterday I did my 3rd run after graduation. I've changed my route so I run through the golf course. It's just a 5k route now. Last night, 1st rain run ever was 37mins. A little bit gutted however...the first 5mins was ran with tears running down my eyes and my breathing all to cock. The reason?
2days ago I told my OH we needed to split. No one else, but just both miserable, screaming, causing misery for his son and both so so unhappy I cry myself to sleep most nights.
I now have running and last night, as we had his son I figured I'd better leave them to it (he has to find somewhere to live), they're both upset. It was difficult but after a few minutes I began to focus. My mind was full bit the tears stopped and the breathing rectified itself.
Sorry for rambling, but I suppose it's good to talk.. my question and original point is.. . .will running help me get through? And is it good for mental health?
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LittleMaz
Graduate
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We share so much of each other on our family forum and it is so hard to know quite what to say.
Running does for many, many of us help. It often gives us the time to be alone and try to make sense of events in our lives... concentrating on running gently, breathing steadily and often just being outside, may contribute to a clearer mind set.
It does however, take time.
You will hopefully, be able to talk with your partner and his son... and maybe settle things down in a quiet way... and then begin to move on, using your running to continue building you up physically and mentally too.
Keep posting, we are right here and will as ever, be supportive
Hi LittleMaz first of all, really sorry to hear if your personal situation, I hope you come through that ok.
With respect to running and mental health, my experience has been that it has had a massively positive impact on my mental resilience, I have only been running for a few months but only a few weeks into C25K I found that instead if finding reasons to stop and why I couldn't do it, I was finding reasons why I could and should and must carry on.
I hope you find the same and it helps you get through this difficult time, stay strong and stay in touch x
Wow. How brave to make such a decision. Some people go on for years being unhappy.
It’s good that you’ve decided you would both be happier apart and done something about it.
It’s a tough old time but i genuinely believe that exercise does help and so does support from friends and family.
You can’t stay in a relationship like that - arguing all the time. Neither of you would want a lifetime of arguments and upset. I’ve been there and you’ve got to keep in mind that you WILL get through this and times will be happier. Of course it will be hard at first but it’s for the best. In order to move on faster, you need to completely separate. Being in touch with someone you have split from will make recovery a much harder and lengthy process. Cut off from them. It’s hard but IMO it’s the best way for all involved. If you want to see his son occasionally, you could without your ex, but probably gradually not see him either.
As for running, it could certainly help. Keep running. I suffer with anxiety and have previously had depression for years in the past too. People can’t believe the change in my outlook since starting to run.
Whatever happens, good luck. This feeling is temporary. Hang on to that Xx
What a very, very hard decision to have to make. I suspect, in a small way the running and looking after yourself has actually played a part in bringing you to this difficult conclusion. 😔
Often in life we stay on the path we know instead of venturing off into the unknown. They call it our comfort zone (which can actually be anything but comfortable!!). It takes strength of mind and character to see when it's damaging to us and even more to take action.
You're a brave, strong woman. You will come through this. 💪
It is always, always good to talk and we are here for you any time.
Occasionally it can be a relief when the decision is made. It really doesn't have to be about blame or acrimony. My last split, our final week before I moved out we were nicer to each other than the 2 yrs previous.
I wish you all the best. No matter how it goes, it's a difficult adjustment time. You're going to find running a big help. Be kind to yourself. 🤗
Hi LittleMaz for me when I'm running it's just for me, I know that I'm using all my mental strength to get through the run ~ that in itself is good for mental health; it builds resilience and also helps to keep you in the present moment. Life throws stuff at us and we never know what's around the corner, running is a constant in our lives that we can pick up when we need to feel more grounded. Sending you strength xx
Thank you all SOmuch for your lovely comments, I agree with Gogo_jojo the last day or so has been argument free. Hopefully that will continue till he moves out. It's my house so he will be going. I'll probably keep him on Facebook but unfollow. I don't want to see what hes up to I'll be worried and I don't want him to see I'm trying to be positive by sorting the house.
My running will keep me going. I had a 15k walk today round Malham in North Yorkshire today. Lol if my legs start working by tomorrow I'll be off for another run. Many thanks to all x
So sorry that your relationship didn’t work out! Glad that running is giving you some mental space to think and rationalise.
I split with my ex 20 ish years ago but I do think in retrospect that running may have helped me work through my feelings etc and been a bit nurturing/healing of me.
It’s a shitty time, but you will come out knowing yourself more. Being in an unhappy/uneven relationship is no good for anyone - life is too short. Very best of luck xxx
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