So disappointed with myself...: After graduating... - Couch to 5K

Couch to 5K

132,597 members158,678 posts

So disappointed with myself...

JB173 profile image
53 Replies

After graduating & completing the Grim, I saw photos of myself in my running gear & was absolutely mortified. It killed my mojo & took all my confidence. I've not run since 2nd December & can't believe that I did actually graduate. I feel awful, physically & mentally, but I'm scared at the thought of going out there. It was also the structure I enjoyed so without that I feel lost. Please can I ask your advice - if I did go back out, should I start at the beginning after a month off?

Written by
JB173 profile image
JB173
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
53 Replies
Wizziewood profile image
Wizziewood

Firstly, take a good look at all the other runners not just the tall thin things. We're a very mixed bunch so no one is going to judge you on your appearance.

At your stage of your running career I think if I'd had two or three weeks off I'd probably set out to run about 20mins and see how it goes. There's no need to go back to the beginning. If you completed the program you won't have lost too much fitness. Then try to consolidate your 30min runs.

You can use W9 if you like someone encouraging you.

Now get your running shoes on and get out there! Keep posting so we know how you're getting on.

Remember, slow and steady!

Good luck and happy running!

Amarigue1976 profile image
Amarigue1976Graduate in reply to Wizziewood

Hi I graduated in November and due to weather and illness didn’t run so I completed week 7 again and carried on from there. I have nearly completed week 8 again now the runs have been tough but manageable. When I did graduate I just kept repeating week 9 and will keep doing this until when and if 30 minutes becomes comfortable. Good luck and keep it up. The benefits far out way any negativity. I have lost weight toned up and reduced my blood pressure meds by half so all good 😀👍🏃‍♀️

JB173 profile image
JB173 in reply to Wizziewood

Thank you so very much ☺

badcrumble profile image
badcrumble

Are you mad?! 😬I've just read through all your previous posts. Maybe you should do that too and see how marvellously far you've come. I'm a bit stuck on week 4, so people like you motivate people like me. You've done brilliantly and a don't let a dodgy angled photo put you off. You've lost some weight....you've graduated....You're fab! 😁😁😁

in reply to badcrumble

what a lovely reply, and so true x

in reply to badcrumble

badcrumble take heart, I got stuck with week 4 as well. I think it's one of those weeks. I completed run 2 but only just, and it knocked my confidence. Just give it a go. I'm running 28 minute at a time now, which I would never have believed back in the middle of week 4. you will have seen my other bleats and moans, for week 6 and 8. i think everyone founders from time to time, usually before a breakthrough. Just go for it, you can...

badcrumble profile image
badcrumble in reply to

Thanks for that flick. I haven't run since last sat as felt a bit downhearted. Think I'll repeat week 3 😬

in reply to badcrumble

It's a funny situation because you don't run because you feel low, but running would boost your endorphins and make you feel good. Personally I would carry on with week 4 and only go back a week if you really can't do it. I've found that on each of the three runs where I've crashed, I've had a good run next time that's restored my faith. Hugs badcrumble x

HeleneCorsa profile image
HeleneCorsaGraduate in reply to badcrumble

I agree with Flick - only repeat if you have to, and don't do so in a punitive way. However every run is putting more kms in your bank so don't be disheartened by the moments you feel you're struggling. I think week 4 is a funny one - you are getting into the swing of it but are not yet fully convinced. But then week 5 comes along and generally gives the huge pyschological boost you are in need of. So hang on in there, you are doing great!

JB173 profile image
JB173 in reply to badcrumble

Thank you so very much for taking the time to post. I promise that you can do Wk4 and it's what you've been training your body for, the best advice I ever had was to trust the programme. I'm back! We got this 💪🏃🏽‍♀️😁

RoRoMama profile image
RoRoMama

Excellent post and look at the replies so far. You are not alone with your thoughts. Me too! I thought as I read it. I graduated 4 years ago, ran a couple of times and gave up. What a plonker! So after a couple of failed attempts in the interim here I am back at week 9. Like you I felt lost without Laura’s encouragement and I didn’t have the gumption to sort myself out. So this time I am going to keep listening to week 9 and when I want to change her music I will download the app on my phone and use week 9 with my own music - I’m looking forward to that. I’m also going to do park run. Yes, I’m going to get this chubby 59 yr old out there in the daylight, LOL. Because it’s not about

what anyone else thinks about me: it’s about me and my running. And this time I’m not giving up. So my advice to you it’s not “if” you go out there again and what week, it’s “when” you go out there. And choose a week you think will be easy rather than a challenge: better to hit a target and feel great about yourself - and let’s face it, you know deep down you are going to get where you want to be. Good luck. And Happy New Year. x

JB173 profile image
JB173 in reply to RoRoMama

Thank you so very much ☺

Fishypieface profile image
FishypiefaceGraduate

Oh no, no, NO! I'm not having this!!! Right, I'm coming round and I'm gonna run with you! You can't give up now. I, too, am a 45 year old mother (of one) who needs to lose weight.

This morning I did a different run route that took me out of my comfort zone on to main roads and I wore something different that I wasn't happy with (it didn't cover my derriere sufficiently). I was all panicky about being seen and my breathing went up the pictures and it made it all hard blinking work. I even did the whole of c25k in my garden because I couldn't be seen in public. Now, I get up early to do it all before anyone is up, just as the sun is coming up. I look pretty repulsive in my running gear I am sure. But, with every new run I complete, I feel closer to not giving a toss, not caring what I look like, what other people think and loving the run just for me. No one can take that from me. And with every run I do, my body is becoming the body I want (well, you know... ish!!).

You've come SO far and been out there and done something AMAZING for charity.

The only person who is losing out if you don't carry on, is you. There are loads of us out there who feel the same way, think of me when you go out, arse wobbling for England.... one day, it'll be perk and made of rock!! But not if I sit on it and don't get out there.

I did week 9 on repeat for weeks/months. It was manageable, achievable and easy. You could give it a try and see how far you get. Or just do a short 15 mins, to test the water. Good luck and let us know how you get on. You CAN do it!! :) x

JB173 profile image
JB173 in reply to Fishypieface

I would love to run with you Fishypieface! Thank you so very much ☺

HeleneCorsa profile image
HeleneCorsaGraduate in reply to JB173

I do believe I have already staked a claim to running with the fabulous FPF- but the more the merrier! ☺

JB173 profile image
JB173 in reply to HeleneCorsa

😂

Realfoodieclub profile image
RealfoodieclubGraduate

I have never seen a good race event photo of myself, they are dire. Most people don’t like their event photos. I know all too well how easy it is to take them to heart but like you will, the support from all the lovely people on here helped me mentally walk away from the last really bad one. Go for a steady fun run and see how it feels, don’t push yourself too hard and allow the love back in.

JB173 profile image
JB173 in reply to Realfoodieclub

Thank you ☺

Millsie-J profile image
Millsie-JGraduate in reply to Realfoodieclub

I hate most of my running photos! Occasionally there is one where I am looking ok (ish). So what, we are runners, enjoy!

dindy profile image
dindyGraduate

Hi JB173. Just go through your posts like badcrumble from the very 1st time you posted as I just done. Talk about progress! Wk4R1, 5 Min run. W4R2, Smashed it. W6R3, Raining but you loved it and you are stubborn, you will not give up.

Of course we have the final great post, “She Believed She Could, So She Did! “That is a post if there ever was one as an inspiration to all those just starting C25K who cannot run for 1 minute. You took part in a challenge race running for 4 miles; I cannot run for 5k (3.1 miles) let alone 4 miles!! Race what is a race, I doubt if I will ever be ready for a race let alone 4 miles!!

We all have off days & weeks but you will pull through because as you say you are stubborn and will not give up. I will leave it to the more experienced runners to give you real advice but just go out for a run no matter how long or short it is for as we know you can do it. Do not worry as you did not before what people think, you I am sure could run them all into the ground.

JB173 profile image
JB173 in reply to dindy

Thank you so very much for taking the time to write such an encouraging post. I'm back, I promise ☺

JB173 profile image
JB173

I'd forgotten how much love & support there is on here - your words have inspired me & I've just been out & repeated Wk6 Run1 - I think I thought intervals would be easier but I'd forgotten how tough they are! It was easier than first time round. I'd forgotten that sense of achievement when you finish. I have reread my posts & you're right, I want to feel like that again. Hopefully, being honest about how rubbish I've been feeling will inspire me not to go back there. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart & Happy New Year to you all 🏃🏽‍♀️👍😘

Pc59 profile image
Pc59Graduate in reply to JB173

Well done Jb173👍👍👍you have also got me all fired up to get into my running gear & get out for a run no matter how long im out for il be out taking you & all these wonderful running buddies on here with me😊😊I have read every one of these inspiring replies and we all have the same thoughts about what we look like, our wobbles etc i used to dress all in black, to look slimmer😂 go out in the dark, see now im in jazzy leggings, fluorescent pink hat & some sight😂who cares, we are all winners as we are out there running & achieved amazing results from struggling to run 1 min to running 30mins👍we are our own worst enemies and instead give yourself a huge pat on the back for getting out there! Im 60 & never ran & graduated for second time in November still struggling without Laura but keeping posting & reading this forum helps us all beginners, graduates , we are all running buddies! Right i must get out there & post later!! Well done JB173 🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️👍😊

Fishypieface profile image
FishypiefaceGraduate in reply to JB173

Yay! Well bl**dy done you JB173!! You absolutely rock! Now don't ever forget it.... Or I'll come and get ya and make you run with me!! :)

JB173 profile image
JB173 in reply to Fishypieface

You never know...might join you in aiming for 10K one day! Happy running ☺

Just read your post and had to reply.. You are AMAZING, look what your body is capable of and respect it. I resemble a hippo in lycra when I don my running gear but so what? We can run farther and faster than some folk who are half our size and still on the couch.

I have yet to get back to the 30 mins running that I managed in C25k but like anything in life, progress isn't necessarily linear and there are peaks and troughs. I think you deserve a pat on the back everytime you put one foot in front of the other and just.... run.

Please don't give up, keep going and hold your head up high 😀

JB173 profile image
JB173 in reply to

Thank you for taking the time to reply! I did get out today & so looks like I'm coming back, slow & steady! ☺

misswobble profile image
misswobbleGraduate

You can pick up where you like. It’s your run 🙂. Don’t make any rigid plans. Just run walk run for as long as you like. Make it more of a walk if you want. It’s about getting back into the exercise groove and getting back into running. Relax and enjoy it.

Running is for everyone! All ages, shapes and sizes so don’t bother about what you look like in your Lycra! You can lose weight as you keep running. I know I have but I do watch what I eat now. My first time in Lycra was a first for me but I found the experience better than expected as the nylon hauled things in so I didn’t feel like a sack of spuds. I hid out in the woods for months to do my running 😎

Running is fun! Enjoy it. It’s not a punishment 😃👍🏃‍♀️

SlowLoris profile image
SlowLoris

I agree with Wizziewood. Maybe start with a 20 minute slow run and see what aches and how much. Clearly you are going to get back out there with so many people on your team!

Elfe5 profile image
Elfe5Graduate

So many people have an " oh no" response to one photo or another. In the early weeks I caught sight of my own shadow and felt horrified - so I made a decision there and then not to look!

You have achieved so much, don't rob yourself of having such a positive thing in your life. Go out, warm up well and listen to your body. See what you manage - that will tell you where to pick up from - you can use the podcasts in a flexible way to suit yourself & have some structure.

I am just consolidating 30 min after graduating recently - I have found it helpful to experiment with creating my own structure. I have created ( & recreated) playlists of favourite music- I know how long I have run for by the tracks & each one makes me smile. I also try to have structure within my 3 weekly runs - one is a 30 mins to music, another is experimenting with 15 mins run/ 2 mins walk pattern (not yet sure what I think about it) & I am hoping in a few weeks that the third will be the Park run - (for now it is another consolidation run, but I change route & playlist for variety).

Go you, you can do this! Post how you get on - we will cheer for you! 😃

JB173 profile image
JB173 in reply to Elfe5

Thank you! ☺

Suesky17 profile image
Suesky17Graduate

It’s not a fashion contest. You should be proud of who you are and what you have achieved. I think I look ridiculous in mine, and I think my style is prob hilarious to the passer-by but I don’t care. I’m out there and doing something I never thought I would or could. Treat yourself to something that makes you feel happy when you wear it; mine is my bright pink running cap. When I put that on, I mean business 😜

😁

in reply to Suesky17

Love that reply Suesky17 . I was thinking along similar lines. I'm pretty slim, though I would like to shift the few pounds I put on after recovering from surgery last year - but I'm generally self confident and like the way I look (and that's being an old bird who will be 71 in three days time) but I still have to overcome self consciousness every time I run. So I flaunt various things, like my jazzy black and white running leggings and the flashing yellow light on the back of my jacket. After a few yards of running I forget about looking silly and remind myself that the usual response to runners, if people notice them at all, is there is someone who knows what they are doing. And for all those of you who worry about your size, you are gorgeous just as you are. Just look at women like Adele, Dawn French and Alison Moyet but you will lose that weight if you keep up the running, as the runs get longer, and you will be a lot more toned than all those skinny couch potatoes.and feel better about yourselves.

Suesky17 profile image
Suesky17Graduate in reply to

Wow, 71 😜 Truly an inspiration 👍👏👏

in reply to Suesky17

I'm just an old duck really ;)

HeleneCorsa profile image
HeleneCorsaGraduate in reply to

I've said it before, I know... but you have to be the youngest (almost) 71-year-old ever! Hidden

in reply to HeleneCorsa

I’m lucky to have young looking genes, and very lucky still to be active. I know people younger than me who cant get to the end if the street, I have friends with hip replacements or who are obese or wheelchair bound, so I really do appreciate my level of fitness and am determined to keep that as long as I can. I’m so grateful for this forum and its support, that have shown me it’s possible to run at my age and beyond. Grateful to all of you for encouragement and friendship. Lol, now Im gushing. Bet you wish you hadn't said anything now.

Ooh, and grateful to my daughter who graduated today. Without her example I might never have had the inspiration to sign up and do this.

Oh, and happy new year xx

TedG profile image
TedGGraduate

I can’t believe what I just read Jenny, that’s not you! I’ve been following your progress, we both graduated the same weekend with you doing a mile more than me! 🏃‍♀️

I agree with everyone who’s commented on here, you are you, no one is judging you, be proud of yourself! When I saw a video of myself doing the Santa Run....my brother videoed me from behind....I was shocked! White chicken legs, varicose veins, everything associated with a 69yr old and talk about shuffling Santa, far from the macho runner I’d like to be. It hasn’t put me off, I’m close to the 10K now and you should be too. 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Now, tie up those running shoes and get out there.....you’re a runner, no one can take that from you! 😘

JB173 profile image
JB173 in reply to TedG

Missed you TedG! Don't worry, I'm back & I might just get to progress to 10K one day - how are you finding it??

TedG profile image
TedGGraduate in reply to JB173

Glad you’re back Jenny 😊

10K training is tough but not as tough as C25K tbh.

Doing 9k on Thurs, that’ll be a tester 😬

Registered for a 10K Run on Jan 21st.

Keep at it Jen, you’ll be glad you did 🤗😘

JB173 profile image
JB173 in reply to TedG

Really...? You've got me thinking about 10k now but few weeks of consolidation to do first... thanks Ted x

TedG profile image
TedGGraduate in reply to JB173

Go for it Jenny 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

Where are you based?

JB173 profile image
JB173 in reply to TedG

In Camberley, Surrey - you?

TedG profile image
TedGGraduate in reply to JB173

Eynsham, Oxon. Not far from Oxford. Originally SE London.

JB173 profile image
JB173 in reply to TedG

My sister used to work at Eynsham Hall as an Events Organiser. I have lived in Aylesbury, Brill & Bicester so know that area well ☺

TedG profile image
TedGGraduate in reply to JB173

Small world 😊

I’m thinking of doing Oxford Town & Gown 10K on May 18th. Fancy it?

Give you something to focus on 😊

townandgown10k.com/oxford/

JB173 profile image
JB173 in reply to TedG

I will definitely give it some thought...!

Cornet-Carolyn profile image
Cornet-CarolynGraduate

Hi, sorry to hear your disappointment but really you should be so proud of yourself.

Do a few week 9 runs very slow and steady.

I am 56 and have decided it doesn't matter what I look like when I run. I always go bright red and look pained! Anyway a lovely volunteer at the finish of today's park run said I looked as though I thoroughly enjoyed my run and she was so right!

Keep up the running and have fun.

HeleneCorsa profile image
HeleneCorsaGraduate

It made me sad to read this - you have achieved something great but are nervous about getting out there again. You have done it before and can jolly well do so again!

I am willing to bet that you are being excessively hard on yourself about how you appear in your running gear but regardless, it really doesn't matter what others think. I am sure also that we assume people are watching and judging all the time whereas in all probability it is not the case. I don't think I have ever harboured any unkind thoughts about a person in running gear (Ok, apart from the man I once saw running in eye-wateringly tight shorts - basically Speedos - who was bordering on arrestable. But I digress). I know it is easy to say that and much harder to overcome self-consciousness in practice, but I am sure that if you really push yourself to get started again you will overcome it.

You have every right to be out there enjoying yourself. Try to think back to the sense of achievement you had after graduating. And remember that we are always running with you ☺

ancientrunner profile image
ancientrunnerGraduate

Please start again. The picture of me is the only one where I don't look as if I am in absolute agony and absolutely ancient (someone had just cracked a joke as we passed the photographer , and it's 3 years old now). I've never looked at anyone else and felt anything but respect for the effort they are making. I did a run in central park with my nephew on his wedding day and after he took a selfie - I have offered him large amounts of money to destroy it but he won't. Have to forget the picture and just remember the good memory of the run. Good luck, you've achieved so much.

MrsPsycho profile image
MrsPsychoGraduate

Don't sweat how you look in running gear (I think it's designed to look weird on anyone not 7ft and built like twigs) you're still looking more athletic than everyone who's plonked on the sofa ;)

Langley-Loper profile image
Langley-LoperGraduate

We are all different shapes and sizes but whenever I see someone running all I think is good for them, they are out there doing it. They was before I restarted running myself. Now I have even more respect for ALL runners.

We will never look perfect in our unforgiving running gear. I am an exaggerated pear - next to no boobs, boney chest (my wedding dress fitter 20+ years ago described it as hollow - thanks) and cellulite thighs! But I bet I can run further than catwalk supermodels and I bet you can too.

Bluebirdrunner profile image
BluebirdrunnerGraduate

Well done for getting back out there and running Wk6 R1 JB173😊...

Loads of lovely support from everyone and I agree you are a fab runner, and will be smashing out 30minute runs again very soon.

Hop over to the Bridge to 10k site when you feel ready, and join a Quest or take a look at Ju ju's 10k plan once you are comfy with 5k. Like lots of others I spent months doing 30 min runs using Wk9 and the c25k + podcasts. Different routes, fun runs until I was able to run for 5k.

Happy running, we are all with you😊xx

You may also like...

Disappointed with myself.

Since graduating I have continued to run 3 times a week but I have been unable to run anywhere near...

Disappointed in myself

Hi all I was doing really well with my running and most days would do 5k -7k this however stopped...

Disappointed with myself

again no run, apart from 3 min up-hill run for fun. Yesterday, I felt terribly tired, so again no...

Disappointed in myself

W4R3 So I've just been out to do today's run. I decided to run around the entire of my local park....

W8R3 - disappointed with myself!

Sarah told me I’d completed the run! I’m so annoyed at myself for not running all the way through,...