Frost and Faffage: After my limited attempts at... - Couch to 5K

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Frost and Faffage

Razouski profile image
11 Replies

After my limited attempts at running last week - I only managed to get out once, was determined that this week I'd be back on track with three runs. Having run (fuelled by cake, scones, pastry and Prosecco on Monday I knew that I had to run again today and Friday (as I have yet another busy weekend ahead).

I awoke around 6am still feeling tired, and decided that perhaps another 10 minutes in bed would have me feeling a bit more spritely.

However I must have fallen back to sleep, as the next time I looked at the clock it was half past 7. So I told myself to shake a leg and get on with it. No time for faffing, or so I thought. I would just get dressed and out the door. I’d got yet another new playlist to try out, so I was keen, and my Mojo waited patiently on the doormat while I got myself ready.

One cup of tea downed, it didn’t take me long to slather the feet in Vaseline (just in case it turned into a long run) and get myself clothed. It might have been better had I taken a minute to look out the window…

There I was finishing off my warm up stretches in a thin vest, leggings and my running shoes, feeling toasty. Then it was on with the running belt and I was raring to go.

I took one step out the door, turned around and to come right back inside. It was frrrreeeezing. What was I thinking?

What I was thinking was, “Where the bl**dy hell have I put my door key?” SO not only was I freezing, I was also locked out of my house. I’d even locked my Mojo inside, so what chance would I have of completing my run. After what seemed like forever, but was in fact a few seconds of cursing my next door neighbour arrived back from dropping his son at school. Fortunately my cursing had been quiet as he is a vicar, and I didn’t want to cause offence. He asked if I was OK. How could he ask such a stupid question? Did I look OK? With a red nose, goosebumps, body almost going into convulsions due to the extent of my shivering did he seriously need to ask.

Without me having to say much more he disappeared (which was a good thing, as I was on the verge of developing Tourette’s ) but returned post haste brandishing a key. My spare key. I could have kissed him – but a) I could hardly move with the cold and b) I didn’t want to get the neighbours talking. He unlocked my door then wisely retreated before I could change my mind on the kissing thing.

I was back inside in no time and caught sight of myself in the mirror. No wonder Fr Mike had backed off so quickly. My chest was showing tell tale signs of the cold, but having had a mastectomy, I had only one “organ stop” protruding from my vest. How embarrassing… 😳 (I’m not sure when I’ll ever get used to having such an uneven rack.) Anyway, shrugging, I put on my plastic overshoes to save me removing my trainers, and did a sprint upstairs to fetch a jacket. I then had a fumble around in the shoe cupboard to get my headband for my ears, running gloves, reacquainted myself with my Mojo and opened the door to leave.

Yes, I could have just gone ahead and shut the door, but in the nick of time remembered I needed my key… phew.

At last I was on my way, striding along with Fun Boy Three serenading me with Our Lips Are Sealed, as if to remind me of my avoidance of swearing at the vicar (or having the neighbours see us in an embrace). It was a circular route that I hadn’t done in a while, with the option to extend it if all was going well. My Mojo decided that I could go further, especially with some choice tracks such as The B52’s (Rock Lobster and Love Shack) to keep me going. 🏃🏽‍♀️

I didn’t manage any speedy kilometres – my last run must have been a fluke - but my planned 5km turned into a 10.5 km in 1hour and 1.37 minutes, so I was pleased with that. ☺

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Razouski profile image
Razouski
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11 Replies
littlewiz profile image
littlewizGraduate

Epic post and love the title. I was running myself (Wk7R2) this morning at 6:30 and it was a tad cold but doesn't take long to warm up. As I approached the finish I passed people walking their dogs in big puffy jackets and multiple layers and they seemed amazed to see me running in shorts and tee shirt. My running list involves Joy Division, Echo and the Bunnymen, Bowie, Pink Floyd ... so you can see my era. I might need to add a bit of B52's - good shout.

Razouski profile image
Razouski in reply to littlewiz

Thanks littlewiz there are a few of us who have become The Retro Runners ( antet , Hidden to mention but a few) who have an enthusiasm for 1980s music on our playlists. I also had Love Will Tear Us Apart (Joy Division) on my list this morning, Fade to Grey (Visage) which I was singing along to on my warm up walk, much to the amusement of passing school children, and True Faith ( I know it's 1990s by but New Order, which is Joy Division re-incarnated I guess). Psycho Killer (Talking Heads came on, just after I'd struggled up a hill alongside a guy on a push bike who was also puffing and panting, and I was convinced it should have been Cycle Killer :-)

I haven't yet run to any Pink Floyd as I like to listen to their albums in their entirety, but I'm thinking of giving Dark Side of the Moon an outing one of these days.

I might need to add some Echo and The Bunnymen.

SlowLoris profile image
SlowLoris

Gosh, Mrs BW has a faffing blue but you knock her into a cocked hat.

Razouski profile image
Razouski in reply to SlowLoris

I have previously perfected the art of faffage, but most of my faffing is usually before I leave the house. This was a real achievement for me this morning. I think Irishprincess has the Queen's award for faffing, but there are many of us vying for the Gold Medal. 😂😂😂

Irishprincess profile image
IrishprincessGraduate in reply to Razouski

Haha yes I'm sure I still have that title 😂 The winter is the worse because of all the extra bits - hats, buff, gloves 😂😂😂

Brilliant run despite the faffage, I love the big list of things that needed to be done got before you got out there. and I am even more in awe of your fast run the other day having tried Laura and 'speed' ...

I can imagine an embarrassed vicar's face too...

Well done on doing over the 10k - cracking stuff - see you Saturday!

Sarakc profile image
SarakcGraduate

Ha ha!! That post cracked me up!! “Faffage”!!! A great word! Think I’m an expert faffager too! 😂

Mummycav profile image
MummycavAdministratorGraduate in reply to Sarakc

Love faffage....when I drive somewhere for a run...I have unbelievable faffage!!! 🙄

HeadInTheClouds profile image
HeadInTheCloudsGraduate

Haha, that is just the medicine I needed in my sick (but not as sick as yesterday) bed... thank you..!! 😂😂

Oh the poor vicar ... I wouldn’t be surprised if he returns your spare key ... there are ‘limits’, after all 🙈

Fabulous post, fabulous run... all’s well that ends well 😂

Mummycav profile image
MummycavAdministratorGraduate

Wow....just wow....I love this...mastectomy & everything.....my ❤️ Goes out to you.... Razouski ....you are truly one to look up to, an inspiration like no other.....you need to add ‘I will survive’ to your playlist coz you are DEFINITELY a survivor in my eyes....you are a running heroine.... xxxxx

Razouski profile image
Razouski in reply to Mummycav

Thanks for your kind words. X

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