Overstaying Guest and Jealousy Issues - Week 7 Run 3

Lucifer was supposed to go home yesterday, the weather people promised us, which is why my bathroom is still 32 degrees at 7am this morning. Now true it is down something like half a degree, but I'd like him to go home now. Dutch friends tell me that in Holland, they like visitors to stay only as long as fish stays fresh. So that's 3 days max in my book - Lucifer's overstaying his welcome, he's been here for about 5 or 6 weeks now. Can he please visit the UK, where all my friends are bitching about Winter coming, and no that's not the new Game of Thrones trailer.

Today I decided it's back to the countryside for me, after my little trip to London and the seaside resort to run. Me and Mr Smooth presently have some relationship issues. In the early days, he told me I was doing great, and he kept my motivation high. Now I think the honeymoon is over and he's only really taking a cursory interest. This was confirmed when I saw him last night on a couch. He told me to kick the couch and now he is sitting on one.... oh and with 3 gorgeous women, none of whom as far as I can tell are his wife. So a tiny pang of something in my heart or was it indigestion. But then Mr Smooth did that thing he does so well, he spoke. And then the world came right again, because he is speaking just to me. Many others of you may have seen him, but I promise you he was talking only to me.

Now you understand the bizarre fantasist that I have become due to Mr Smooth. Out onto the slope of hope and then turn into the hill that kills. Aha, I'd actually forgotten it's been 4 runs since I was last here. 2 flattish runs in London and 2 very flat runs at the chic running track. The hill that kills, was quite welcoming she whispered quietly " so JCR you've come back to me, I was waiting patiently for you, even though you dumped me for the bright lights of London and men in bikinis in Fano"

I'd like to say I apologised to her, but actually I couldn't speak it's hot and a gradient and I haven't done this for close to 10 days. So with much wheezing I continued down into Lovers Lane, also wearing a very seductive outfit. Lovers Lane was bathed in shade, oh thank you gods of running you were listening. However, shortly after the gods of running decided I'd had too much favourable treatment and the 2 beagles gave me a fright with a cacophony of barking. That was 2 F words and not even half way yet. So round Villa Bali and back down Lovers Lane. Out back to the hill that kills, and she was still whispering menacingly " JCR you've come back so soon, and you think you've got me, but you're running downhill, revenge will be mine"

And she was right - on my run back up, my legs went jelly like, my heart was pounding fast and I almost stopped. The hill that kills had become that damned shark in Jaws, and she'd just taken a damn great chunk out my glutes. So I diverted what little energy I had to chanting 'I can do it' ' I can do it' .

At this point I really really needed Mr Smooth's help and then he said well done you've been running for 20 Minutes, only 5 to go. That wasn't really the help I had in mind, I was thinking a Ferrari with him, me and a bottle of bubbles. But I dug in, I can't give that advice if I don't take it... Finally the one minute mark, but in full sun, now my chanting sounded more like a threat in a creepy horror movie. But I did it and it was done.

As to jealousy, I have learnt it is better to share the love and so Mr Smooth, I understand you have to focus on the newbies because they need you now more than I do. But I'd still like us to stay in touch, just an occasional cuddle will do.


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39 Replies

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  • You can tell Lucifer that I have a vacancy in my guest room should he choose to visit Cornwall. I'm sure that many over here would be welcoming a return to summer. Autumn seems far too close.

  • Okay swap you get Lucifer and can I have Mr Smooth in my spare room?

  • No what, may I ask, is Mr JCR going to say to that. You already spend hours running around with him. I'm sure there is only so much he can take.

  • Fair point. But Mr JCR spends hours with Bianca his Italian mistress. In fact he loves her so much, she travels with us between Uk and Italy. I thought she could travel in a bike rack, but no apparently a cushion protective cover in the back seat is much nicer for her. So I think I have provocation

  • Well, absobloominlutely. Revenge is the best form of revenge - taken hot, if you please.

  • Hot revenge it is...

  • Hahaha, well that got me laughing which is very welcome as oft to work shortly on an afternoon/ evening stint. Laura keeps abandoning me, mainly because I keep knocking my MP3 player and it moves on to another week! I hadn't realised that Mr Smooth could be so fickle but like you say, he does need to motivate the newbies. As for Lucifer, we could do with maybe the Shadow of Lucifer but not the full on version.

    Thanks for brightening up my days. I shall think of you and your exploits on my R3 tomorrow. :)

  • Thanks bl, my pleasure, blimey how can my muscles have forgotten that damned hill so quickly...? Good luck for you tomorrow

  • Thanks - and you're doing super well, especially in that heat.

  • I don't know how you run in those temperatures! It is all going to feel so much easier once Lucifer leaves! As for Mr Smooth, he didn't offer this service when I did Couch 25k (although Laura was a great pal and got me through, so no complaints really). Consider yourself lucky to have such small attentions! Seriously, sounds like you are doing brilliantly and definately entertaining us all on here! πŸ˜‚ Keep it up! πŸ™‚

  • I know Mr Smooth is in demand, and I shouldn't be quite so needy, but he does make a big difference..πŸƒπŸΌβ€β™€οΈβ€οΈπŸ‘

  • ...and I for one am happy to see him grace our tv screens! πŸ™‚

  • You are a grown up runner now so don't need so much help! This is getting you ready for graduation.

    I would also welcome Lucifer here as our heating came on last night!! Can someone tell the UK weather that I shouldn't be wearing a thick jumper to work.

  • Hi SC I know you're right, it's just early onset separation anxiety coming in to play! And I do sympathise with the weather over there, it sounds dreadful. Sweater in August that's just wrong

  • That's all very well but did you skwaat?

  • Ssh that is supposed to be our secret... answer is yes I did but they were rubbish. My full report will be submitted privately at the end of week one.

  • skwaats are no secret. Everyone esle on the forum has done their skwaats today. I am sure yours were tremendous.

  • They were so crap. I don't have a football... I just can't tell you I fell about laughing

  • Thanks for the giggle - you write beautifully :) Lucifer has moved out from here for a while - refreshingly cool wind here today, You are either insane or hooked to be running in those temperatures.

  • Hi - lets go for hooked. And I'm glad that Lucifer is leaving you alone now, I wish he'd take the hint... But if I wimped out and stayed in then I think I'd be tempted to not do it.

  • Sounds like you need a bigger boat...................?

  • ROFL! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Well done JCR, I'm in awe of your stamina and achievements, I don't know how you're managing running in that heat. I think breathing would be as much as I could manage. However I have to take issue with you I'm afraid. W8R1 for me this morning and as we say west of Offa's dyke 'Duw it's hard'. Anyway, after seeing Mr Smooth relaxing on the couch with his floozies yesterday I decided it was time he came for a 28 minute shuffle with me. Although we managed it together I can't say our relationship was without its ups and downs . Disappointingly he didn't have a lot to say and I think I bored him. Therefore when I take my weekend run it's back to the comfort of Jo for me, I feel we have more in common and she's far more empathetic. I'm sorry that this post will disappoint some and I fear you will be aghast but that's the truth of it! Hoping Lurking Lucifer leaves you soon

  • You see I think this is the thing, at Week 7 Mr Smooth is gently moving away, so you can be independent. And it's like cutting the umbilical cord, you need it to be swift and clean and it seems more hurtful by him not just leaving for good. But as SC1472 says I no longer need him. I am a runner. And so I understand Jo - I think she's a brilliant woman and role model. But she didn't have an Olympic gold, and I was attracted by the bling.... Breathing let's be frank it's gasping there's no sense of any lung control going on. But I live in hope that in about a month, Lucifer will be a distant memory and the cooler temperatures will help.

  • I also picked MJ for the bling! I wondered how taking running advice from non athletes would work πŸ˜‚

  • Blingtastic so works for me.

  • Jan, Lucifer going away was a myth. I'm still in the middle of it, and, as a result, couldn't run today. No injuries, just exhaustion. Past midnight, the outside temperature was 28c, couldn't sleep at all, can't push air con through the night. Cooling down in the sea is one thing but running in this mayhem is another ball game. Yesterday we had a strong breeze that resembled a gust from an oven, utterly debilitating. Not once did it drop below 38c. I will re-fuel, take an early night, and attempt an after dawn run before my flight back to Stansted. I expect my body to jump with glee once l hit our 'regular' running temperatures but, equally, it's great what we can do in this scorchio :) Crazily enough, l will miss all this!

  • Know exactly what you mean, we were out at friends Tuesday night got home at 2am. Still 39 degrees. We had the same breeze you did, it blew in the usual Saharan sand. It is like being blow torched. But very black clouds are now gathering. I think Lucifer may be packing his bags. Good luck on your welcome home run. You will miss the oven! Especially as at home central heating is coming on...

  • Very well done. How you run in that kind of heat is beyond me. It gets to twenty degrees here and we get topless men all over the place and the supermarkets sell out of bottled water and Pimm's faster than you can say 'Barbecue anyone?' I dread to think how we'd cope with anything like you're having over there.

    As for Mr Smooth.... I think you have to accept you've become a mistress and be content with the snatched moments here and there. It happens I'm afraid, but the gifts (well, the satisfaction of completing each run) are more rewarding!

    You're so close to the end now Jan. You must be feeling so good.

  • Thank you oh wise counsel - I will accept those crumbs of affection! We introduced Pimms O'clock to Italian friends and it is now the stuff of urban legend, with other Italians agreeing to any drink with us except for Pimms... am looking forward to graduation as hopefully it will coincide with cooler weather making the 5k a possibility. Good luck for your next one

  • I shall be in Italy at the beginning of September (near Sienna) and I hope Lucifer is well and truly gone by then! Well done for running in that heat.

    As for Mr Smooth, I think you're going to have to move on. He really is very fickle. Start disengaging emotionally, turn the tables - you exploit him! Just use him to get to graduation, and afterwards YOU decide when you meet up, and then only give him 30 mins of your precious time. Start looking round for others to entertain you. Have fun!

  • I think you could be right... exploitation here I come

  • My run at lunchtime was 18 degrees C and I thought that was hot. Was sweating up that hill like a sprinkler. No idea how I'd be where you are. I think you'd find me melted into a puddle of neon clouds and posh new running clothes. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  • Neon puddles, fab!

  • Aw brilliant, well done Mrs JCR I'm sure Mr Smooth is very proud!

  • Fabulous post, had me in giggles!you have a real talent for writing. As for Mr Smooth, I have not encountered his dulcet tones and feel I have somewhat missed out. Time to stray I feel..........

  • Ooh blimey I didn't mean to encourage straying.....please don't tell anyone that I was responsible...

  • Love reading your posts! And just to give you a heads up, Mr. Smooth is very supportive and encouraging for the week 9 runs - ensuring above all that you get through it. Actually so is Jo, who accompanied me on the graduation run ...

  • Okay Iain thanks for that my romance may continue but perhaps just for a short while.....

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