Running and grieving 😢

No easy way to write this - my lovely mum passed away suddenly and unexpectedly on Monday. I'm devastated. Tried to run this morning just for my own sanity and to get back to some kind of normal routine - I'm supposed to be on week 8 but could only manage 15 mins before the memories and grief was too much - had to sit on a step in the shade and have a cry. Ran another 5 mins home after that. Glad I got out there - physically felt ok but psychologically was too tough. I'll try again in a few days time.

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20 Replies

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  • Ssp68, I don't know if you do hugs but it sounds like you need one just now so please take this one if you want it.{{{}}}

    This is such a sad time for you and I offer every sympathy. Be kind to yourself, what ever that means for you. I hope you have real life support with you; it's such a busy few days ahead. I'm sure we can offer virtual support in here, too.

  • Sorry for your loss just take your time and go for a run when you feel up to it. You need the time to grieve and when you are ready the runs will be there as will this very supportive forum.

  • So sorry to read this , can only echo the other replies, running will always be there when you are ready , take time to look after yourself during this very sad time x

  • Very sorry for your loss.

    Running, or exercise of any kind can be a very good way of finding some peace in times of turmoil, but equally it can be very cathartic and bring things to the fore.

    I would say go out for a run as and when your feel it would be beneficial. Don't bother with the programme. You can pick that up again anytime. Just go for fresh air and space. And if you don't feel like it at all, don't.

  • I am so sorry to hear your news. Just getting out will give you space to think but just take it easy and don't worry about the week numbers.

  • Hi Sara, so sorry to hear of the loss of your lovely mum and so suddenly too.

    Your world is shattered...a hug from me too ((()))x

    Go for a run when you feel like it as the fresh air and exercise will do you good, but without expectation or goals. That can wait.

    My thoughts are with you, take care and remember the happy times you shared together. xxx

  • Thanks everyone - and good advice about just running when I want to rather than trying to keep with the program. That feels right - I don't want to stop running, but goals and numbers seem a bit much at the moment. Thanks again, Sara

  • This is a huge and momentous stage in your life and you need to acknowledge and deal with it however is best for you. I am sorry for your loss and would echo the advice above just to forget about the programme, but if you can, and want to run, then do so, without pressure. I know that getting out for a regular run is the most cathartic and life affirming thing that I can do for myself. It really helps to fix perspectives on life and death and so many other of daily life's complexities.

    I am sure your Mum would be proud and happy to think that you were out running, keeping fit and getting the most out of life.

    Best wishes.

  • Oh Sara, I'm so sad to hear this. Emotions are a big part of our running journey and I imagine that right now you are pretty spent. Give yourself a break, do what feels right - for some running is a diversion, for some it is just another pressure at a time when you are ill-placed to manage additional pressure. I find it difficult to think of anything else other than the pain of running when I'm pounding the streets but I do find walking restful and meditative so you could always try a nice walk somewhere beautiful. The main thing, though, is to do what's right for you at the time. Don't put yourself under unnecessary pressure because your emotional state will affect your physical state and the last thing you need right now is to end up feeling even worse because your running is not going well. You have to put you first right now.

  • So sorry for your loss - run when it feels right, rest when it doesn't. Most of all, take care and be kind to yourself.

  • I am so sorry for your loss, please take very good care of yourself at this time. A grieving body is a body under immense pressure so you are doing the right thing of stopping and having a cry if thats what you need. When our bodies are under pressure our immune system Ramps up and that can make it easy for infections and injury to creep in so for a little while I would just do what feels comfortable, graduation can come at anytime the most important thing is to look after your self, Sending virtual hugs. Rfc xxx.

  • So sorry for your loss. I think just do what feels right for you. There's no right or wrong. I always find just walking is great when you've got a lot of emotions, I'm not saying it makes anything better but being out amongst nature always seems to help xx

  • 'Like' seems a bit inappropriate but it is just meant to be a supportive 'I like your effort kind of thing. Running has got me through loss too. Be kind to yourself and do what you need to do x

  • So sorry to read your sad, sad news. We're all thinking of you.

    Run when you feel like it, just as far or as long as you're comfortable with, I'm sure it will help.

    Keep posting and reading the posts.

    Sending you a big hug. x

  • Really sorry to hear this. You just have to go with grief; if you want to run, run, and if you don't, don't. Same goes with crying, laughing, getting angry and all the other things that grief brings. There are no grieving rules and everyone handles it differently, but I recommend just getting through these very early days, and the ones further down the line, by tackling them one hour—one minute, even—at a time, without putting any pressure or expectation on yourself. Look after yourself. X

  • It's all been said but I am thinking about you. Have you noticed the crying happens at the oddest times completely without warning? Keep on keeping on xx

  • Hi Sara, sorry to hear this sad news but glad that you had the courage to share it on this forum where there is always so much support. I started running 6 weeks after my Mum died at the beginning of the year but in different circumstances (she had been ill for a long time). There have been good & bad runs. As others have quite rightly said, the grieving process is very individual and being kind to yourself and going with the flow of your emotions is important in helping you through the process. Run, walk, cry, laugh, be angry, frustrated on your own or with others, the fresh air & surroundings will help even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. You may find some purpose or comfort in picking up the C25K after the funeral and some breathing space. Thinking of you & sending you a hug.

  • I am so sorry to hear of your devastating news. I am thinking of you and sending you a hug. Your emotions will be all over the place right now. Just do what feels right for you at the time.

  • So very sorry for your loss. :(

  • So sorry for your loss. Running helps, maybe just run for as long as you need until you feel ok to get back to c25k?

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