First run with another person - kind of nervous

I'm visiting my parents in law, and my father in law is the kind of runner who does 10 km without blinking despite his 70 years of age.

He is proud of me, happy to see that I have taken up running, and he asked me to go with him on his morning run tomorrow and we agreed to do just 30-35 minutes.

I told him how slow I am. He seriously doesn't believe that a 44 year old can be that slow, and I'm afraid that it is going to be a horrible run where I try to keep up with him.

Please help me out here. How do I handle this situation?

UPDATE: My father in law tried to let me control the pace, but I couldn't help myself and ran much faster than my usual comfortable snail pace. Not pleasant... At one point I realised that I had to slow down or risk not making it. So I slowed down and I made the 3.5k and did a difficult hill at the end. It wasn't a pleasant run, but not too bad either.

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12 Replies

  • I can see the dilemma. The thing is, you have told him your speed and effort constraints so he either has to support you or challenge you. If he does decide to challenge you (intentionally or not) then you need to decide what the best thing to do is:

    - have a go and potentially fail early

    - refuse to be baited and confront his expectations

    Now idea which is the better option, but you need to decide what is at stake - will he respect you more for standing to him or for having a go?

    Difficult one.

    An alternative is just to go and have a laugh about it with him?

  • Suggest he goes round the block twice for each one of yours? Or that he runs backward???

  • That's my trick! :)

  • Really, there is no fail. Only ask breaks, and nothing wrong with that.

  • Well... I feel that if you wish to run with him, then you should. If you do not, then just tell him, it is far too early, to run with someone else.

    If you do decide to run; You have been honest with him about your speed, so maybe, before you start the run; reiterate that; you can stress how important the programme structure has been, and that to deviate from your pattern, at this early stage of your post Graduation, would be foolish, and firmly, but kindly, say you intend sticking to your pace and style.

    Do not, under any circumstances try and keep up with him, you will not enjoy it. Be firm and just run your run, your way.... the ball is in his court and he must play accordingly!


    If that fails, then just say..."

    Den grå snegl siger ikke endnu". :)

    You can do this :)

  • I did run too fast, but realised it after 1.5k and slowed down. It was alright - not pleasant but not too bad either🐌

  • Well done.. you did it! And... you survived :)

  • Why don't you start off and set the pace with him behind you for the first bit? That way you won't push too hard. And if it's just not working and you're going too fast with him, either agree to meet up with him later or take walk breaks.

  • That would have been worth a try... I'll do that the next time. This time I went too fast but survived😊

  • You can always tie his shoe laces together when he isn't looking? ;-)

  • Too bad I didn't think of that... But I made it. Definitely ran too fast, but slowed down before I had to give up. So it was okay, but not something I'll do again anytime soon.

  • I have no advice, but I can sympathise. I run alone, I can't imagine running with anyone else, certainly not my father in law! The first time I swam in the sea with my mother in law, I was sweating bullets, and we weren't doing anything, just bobbing about.

    I think the advice given above to do your own thing is the best strategy. It is the strategy I use when very young (or old) fit folks blaze past me on the trail.

    You know what you are working on right now, and that is what the run should be about in the first instance. In the second instance, it might provide you with the chance to learn a few tricks by watching how a veteran does it.

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