Dozzer19's school report - Physics - no understanding of weights, measures and forces

[dozzer19]

Arrived in Physics dept on time where teacher and assistant looked over me with disdain. They announced there was no point giving me too much work at once and did I know anything about forces? They gave me the name Newton (& Travolta?), said I should get the encyclopaedia out of the library, do some research and report back with an essay on apples.

[AncientMum Graduate]

Ah Dozz, would that be the lovely Olivia's first, second or third law you're interested in. Which, to paraphrase Mr Travolta, is the one that you want? (Ooo Oo Oo, honey!)

[AncientMum Graduate]

Psssssssst!! Do you wanna crib me homework Dozz?

Olivia's first Law: An object at rest stays at rest, unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. (Ie. We sit on the couch until we get pushed off)

Olivia's second law: As mass increases, acceleration decreases (ain't that the truth!) As force increases, acceleration increases (more effort =more speed)

Olivia's third Law: For every action there's an equal and opposite reaction (ie. for every good intention, there's an imp offering peanut butter and the comfort of the couch.)

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

You have an imp with lead? I'm there!

[AncientMum Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

You might think that, I couldn't possibly comment

[AncientMum Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

Hummm.......chromium?? .........Lighter and shinier than lead.....More decorative..... Ice cream??

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

You have the idea. A huge amount of chromium is eaten by ramblers.

[AncientMum Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

Hummmm.... Not exactly ice cream then?....Surely you're not talking about Kendle Mint Cake!! *skips off to google what ramblers eat, apart from cheese and pickle sandwiches*

[AncientMum Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

Oh wait a minute, we're talking about chocolate aren't we? Of course, nice, shiny chromium wrapper!

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

Keep trying, think of the ramblers, ask Roget.

[AncientMum Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

Definitely off to google rambler food!

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

Chromium - Cr - Crisps

[AncientMum Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

I'm warning you, if Sodium is either minstrels or polos (I asked Roget) I'll be cross! Both are too obscure! Should be fish and chips really, but the ways of Dozz are mysterious indeed!

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Pole and mustard - unusual!

[poppypug Graduate]

Hey Dozz......

How do you like them apples !!!! xxx

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to poppypug]

Them, thar apples? Nanna Smith's of course!

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Think I meant apple and mustard, not pole.

[AncientMum Graduate]

Now, all we have to figure out is what sodium is...... x

[AncientMum Graduate]

Duh!!! Of course, Walkers crisps!!! Kat you're a genius. I am way to slow for this game! (bit like my running really!)

[dozzer19 Graduate in reply to AncientMum]

Chromium - Cr - Crisps. Obv

[AncientMum Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

Now you've got me wondering if Na was for Nachos

[AncientMum Graduate in reply to dozzer19]

* Has hits forehead moment*. Duh!!!!!!! Sodium, carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, sulphur!!

Oh Dozz, I am not worthy!........

[dozzer19 Graduate]

Alleluia! And the Na? Did you get there in the end?