Worriednanny

[Megbird]

I am on here for a reason. Not for myself but a close person to me who is drinking heavily and I am worried that if he does not stop the consequences will be fatal. I recently discovered that he started to drink cheap cider and I am worried. I have tried to book him into REHAB and he refused that too. How can i persuade him to get help. I am about to give up work and try to help him more. Please help.

[Craftyann]

Hi there x i am seven years sober and I volunteer in the drug/alcohol sector. I am sorry to tell you that you cant. He will go to rehab if and when he is ready. It is up to him, not you. If you give up work, you will be enabling him not helping him. Trust me, the best way to help him is to just say...you know what? Call me when you get yourself some help. Then you walk away and stay away until he does. Many of us don't actually go for help until there is nothing and no-one left. Some have to be ordered to by law. Some nearly died first. Therapy does not work unless the person desperately wants it. My friend died of this killer disease last week and none of us could help him, he had been to rehab after rehab. He didn't want recovery enough to survive. It was his mum that wanted it. X i truly hope your friend joins our recovery family soon but you need to accept that you can't fix him. Xxxx

[Megbird in reply to Craftyann]

Hello Craftyann thank you for your response. I am so desperately want him to see sense but he is telling me that I am exaggerating he hasn't reached that level of needing help but i know he has. We fall out a lot and it makes me feel so guilty afterwards. Like this morning I am almost in pieces. I just want to be near him and give him a hug. He tells off all the time and it came a point he told me that I am baby-sitting him. I lost my other half to This awful disease Alcohol 3 years ago and I am just kind of trying to move on. Then this now. I have been trying over a year now. I just hope and pray that he can soon turn things round soon. Or may be he has already gone. Thank youxx

[Hidden]

Like Craftyann says, people won't usually take any advice about their drinking, however well meaning it is. Do look after yourself first of all (and I would also advice against quitting your job!), so that you can be there when your friend needs your support.

[Megbird in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Laura. I won't quit my job. The more i think about it The more i realise that it is my job that keep me insane. I do feel sad the thought of loosing someone else through this gruelling disease. I will keep on asking him to get help. seems as if my hands are tied up.

I lost my Other Half 3 and a half years ago this month and I am left with the guilty and the last conversation I had with him before he passed over. I could have him back today and do things differently I suppose. His Birthday is coming up soon too. Thankyou