Give up

OK. I gave up alcohol 18 months ago because I drank too much and it was causing health issues and I was fed up with doing stupid things and falling out with people. I'm 50 now so things like showing my tattoo on my boob isn't funny anymore. I'm proud of myself as it's something I never thought I would be able to do. I feel about of guilt about things that have happened in my past to do with drink and It has caused other issues too.... My husband is a drinker and I hate it. We have only been married 3 years. He has started drinking alcohol free beer at home but I know he would rather not. He likes his whisky too and has to get smashed when he goes out which was how I used to get. I don't expect him to give it up but I feel bad about him cutting down because of me because I know he misses it. I know he misses me drinking too. I'm not as much fun and sex is absolutely rubbish now. I don't know how to come to terms with accepting him drinking and being OK with it.

3 Replies

  • This is a regular problem and we did a video about this last week - you can see it on your youtube channel - - the good news is things do get better when you have got used to doing things sober that you once did drunk - sex being one of them. After all to be totally present for a sexual encounter is awesome.

  • Tried the link but it wouldn't open. Thank you for the words. It kind of scares me more because the sex really isn't good. I'm now at the stage where I can't be bothered with sex. Now I'm thinking maybe we aren't compatible in that way.

  • I don't think that is the case. It is just that you have to learn to start every sexual encounter without being slightly drunk - it is the same for people feeling they are not so fun and outgoing at social events without a drink. It takes a while but slowly the old you return, just as funny and engaging as you always were, but now the awkwardness of being sober has gone.

    Sometimes things take time, you can't expect everything to be solved in one go. If nearly every sexual encounter you have had since you began being sexually active was entered into with the aid of alcohol of course it will take time to adjust. You will feel different. But see that as part of the journey. Sober sex is awesome. Your labido will come back - getting the alcohol out of your system takes time.

    Search Club Soda UK on you tube if the link did not work.